Long Distance Relationships are more common than ever today, Internet dating being a norm rather than exception. But, meeting someone on-line (in town, or out of it) demands additional care and caution, while being careful not to obliterate spontaneity, romance, and excitement.

LDRs necessitate extra skills, resources (emotional and financial), and commitment. They can also push connections to new places prematurely, but unavoidably.  Later, things, usually, calm down and routines form.

Additional and unfamiliar efforts can be taxing, but also fun. Thinking of the "destination," as well as the "journey," enhances purpose—"happy endings" making everything worthwhile.  If you’ve not risked, you might not have tried.  Lost dreams can get reinvented, and what hasn’t happened locally may elsewhere.

Both parties need to work hard in their own unique, as well as more expected, ways to help keep things afloat—have the other person trust, feel secure, excited, and adored—consistently.  This helps build confidence in, as well as beyond, the relationship. Communication and equal effort are key, but without behaviors that are obsessive, compulsive, or unreasonable (or that can be perceived as such) especially if individuals don’t know each other well, initially.

It might seem like the fast-forward button has been hit.  But, sometimes, that’s the only way.  Better to find out sooner than later if there’s "quirks in the works."  Who calls, who doesn’t, who writes, who doesn’t, all become significant in one way or another:  show degree of interest/caring, potential for sacrifice, and willingness to make trade-offs, until routines fall into place.  

How much is shared and how much is allowed to remain a mystery also effect outcome. Planning (short and long-range), and a willingness to do so together, is important.  Looking forward to the next face-to-face encounter matters, and preparing for that, as well as time apart.  Rigidity may need to yield to out-of-the-ordinary behaviors, especially since life can be short.  And, of course, there’s little space for "shy."

Travel to the other’s space if you can.  Get their perspective on the world, not just your own.  Many people like their personal "safe places" and prefer not to explore another’s.  But, it’s all part of the getting-to-know you process.  Taking chances, not prejudging, and visits in both directions.

Not everyone is up for doing things "out of the box."  But, those who can, may find the rewards worth it.  What’s a better alternative? To sit home alone, no special other to focus on?  Long-distance doesn’t last forever.  Ultimately, things work out or they don’t. Somebody moves, and/or somebody doesn’t.  Long distance provides opportunities that in-town ho-hum might not. It involves risk and chance and a stretching of the imagination, as well as a loss of control and certainty.

Long-distance can have advantages that at-home relationships don’t. There’s more time and ways to talk, question, and check-in.  It can also record a story.  Words, thoughts, and feelings get a chance to be aired and translated from afar, as well as face-to-face.  Most important, the essential transition from "me-" to "we-" thinking gets activated early, if things are healthy.  Reciprocity shines!  Though individuals may bask in separate worlds, they also recognize the power and glow that opportunities to "give and take," with someone else, can prompt.  

As Aimee Mann sings, "One is the loneliest number." But, never get into a relationship just for the sake of it…  Go for gain, not pain!

THIS BLOG’S EARLIER RELATIONSHIP-RELATED POSTS INCLUDE:

• R-E-S-P-E-C-T  Respect Revisited (May 7, 2009)
• Strategies to Help Minimize "UID," or Under-Identification Discomfort: Surviving Solo on Family Day in Ontairo (February 16, 2009)
• Second-Hand Stress:  Breaking-Up and Making-Up, "Frienemies," and Used-to-be-Friend" Types (November 16, 2008)
• Reliability, Vulnerabllity, Fear (October 8, 2008)
• GUILT(Y) Verdict for OJ Simpson, and/or Others… (October 7, 2008)
• Mixed Messages and Contradictions (September 29, 2008)
• Relationships that Work, No Communication-Glitches:  Mazal Tov to Ellen and Portia on Their August 16, 08 Wedding (August 29, 2008)
• Airport News Stands: Jennifer Aniston, "Straggler Single":  Uncommon Attention, Common Problems. (Poetry about ating and Related Blog Entry Links Included) (August 22, 2008)
• PLAY NICE—Near and Far! (John Edwards too…) (August 13, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• Single Because, Just Single, or (Im)Perfectly Single: Unscientific Findings (April 13, 2008)
• In Anticipation of VALENTINE’S DAY, Singles Included (February 13, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (February 1, 2008)
• RELATIONSHIP “Uppers” and “Downers” (January 29, 2008)
• Dating Games and Disappointments, On- and Off-Line: Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker Helps Identify Obstacles to Relationship-Making (January 25, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• SINGLES Who Don’t Want to STAY SINGLE and "SINGLES’ BUSINESSES" (July 31, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• Handle with CARE—IDENTIFY, EXPOSE, and GET HELP for Those Who Can Do Harm (like at Virginia Tech) (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• Notes on a Scandal: Single and Living Vicariously (February 7, 2007)
• Single Woman Syndrome (SWS) (January 30, 2007)
• BAD DATE indicators (January 22, 2007)
• SINGLE and Not Settling (December 29, 2006)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)
• Dating Know-How—For Serious Daters (December 4, 2006)

We switched to PetCare Insurance in 2000, when seeking a provider that could cover claims in the US as well as Canada. But, is pet insurance really worth it?  Do you ever get back what you pay with ceilings on illness categories?  And, the older your dog, the higher the deductible, no matter his/her claim record!  Then there’s the "small print" and "exemptions" and "exceptions" as well as "specials." 

You need to be bold and ask in order to receive a "discount" because charges can vary.  When I questioned an increase in monthly premiums (for 2008) for each of my dogs, a customer care representative responded by offering a 15% reduction for us to stay with their program.  We became "eligible for discounts," it seemed, only when making a fuss, not automatically.

For Sage’s urogenital illness in February (08) the bill was $591.32, for which we received $381.39. The co-payment was $59.03 and the deductible $150!

A typical "Mastercare" (90% coverage) policy for a toy poodle (when we were enrolled) broke down like this:

Payplan fee:  $1.50 monthly
Premium: $49.35 monthly (including discount)
Taxes:  $3.95 monthly
Total: $54.80

Is insurance like this really worth it at the end of the day?  Perhaps creating a personal bank account, strictly kept as a monthly pet security fund, to be drawn from only for veterinary emergencies, is a better option. A growing number of pet owners prefer to do this—especially those who have encountered vets who don’t show extra care and attention in filling out clients’ claim forms. Let’s not forget that these professionals will get paid anyway, no matter the source for the funds.

Fall 2008, we terminated our PetCare policies. Unfortunately, as is often the case, we felt that "might over right" was wearing us out. Regardless of whether PetCare’s practices were questionable, there seemed little effective recourse, even after approaching the ombudsman and other insurance industry overseers. An earlier blog entry, Older Dogs’ Healthwatch, points to where some of our woes began. Vets, it seems, can perform multiple investigations/suggest alternative (potential) diagnoses when not sure what’s wrong, maximizing fee, procedure, and treatment possibilities. An insurance company, it seems, can easily deny all other (unrelated) charges, just by finding one that can attach to a condition category that’s not "covered."

Even though more than a year has gone by, we still have not forgotten the pain, anguish, and loss caused by our investment in PetCare policies. Bad enough to have a sick pet. Worse to be with an insurance company that, in our experience, seemed to help add stress (and expense), not take it away.

Lev and Sage are now nearly 13 and 10 years old, respectively—hopefully with many more good times ahead. Here’s a look back at some of our already blogged about adventures (photos included):

• It’s a Dog’s Life:  Editors in Chief and Studio Assistants, Lev and Sage, Took a Bit of Time Off, at the Cape, August Long Weekend (June 7, 2009)
• Yes, We Did—And We Made the News! (June 9, 2009)
• Exchanging Vows, With Poetry At Woofstock Wedding—Today. Lev and Sage Are the Happy Bride and Groom (June 7, 2009)
• Woofstock’s Weddings for Dogs—Today! (June 7, 2009)
• Wedding Announcement! A Later in Life Marriage for Older Woman, Younger Man, and It’s Dog-Friendly (May 28, 2009)
• 12 Years-Old Today—Lev Makin, Editor-in-Chief, DocSusan’s Blog. From Puppy to Pensioner! (February 5, 2009)
• Winter Fashion and Practicality for Dogs (February 7, 09)
• Paraphimosis: Little Penis, Big Swelling and Extrusion from the Prepuce—Sage’s Health Saga Continues (February 4, 2009)
• Dog-Shots by Lev and Sage Makin: Some of the Best Poses of 2008 (February 2, 2009)
• “The Sneeze”: Lev Makin (Blog Editor in Chief) Post Oral Surgery—Older Dog, Longer Recovery and Greater Concern (January 14, 2009)
• Sew Nice! Homemade as Tonic and Treasure (January 9, 2009)
• Lessons from 2008: Canine Confidence and Coincidence Cure (January 1, 2009)
• Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One. (December 25, 2008)
• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly. Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images (November 10, 2008)
• One to One at Apple: Customer Satisfaction and Doggies Included (July 26, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Favorite Dog Toy is a Duck (June 8, 2008)
• Artists Need Moral Support—and Caninekind Offers the Best (May 5, 2008)
• Artwork Approval: Animalkind like Animal Magic! (April 15, 2008)
• Every Art Studio Needs a Watch-Dog (April 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Sunbathing DOGS (March 12, 2008)
• “Happy Birthday!” Editor-in-Chief and Studio Assistant, Lev (February 5, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)
• ART STUDIO Assistants and Poodle Pals (April 1, 2007)
• DOG-Sitter Caution (January 21, 2007)
• PUPPY (Baby) Pictures (December 22, 2006)
• CAPE COD in Fall/Winter (November 6, 2006)

Two’s company, three may be a crowd (Lev and Sage with host, Archie)

Nothing like a lazy day on the deck… for weary travelers (Lev and Sage)

You never know when you’re going to meet a Maxi-Me (Sage and Archie)

The Cape is a fun place for dogs to be, especially after Labor Day!

This is an interesting process for me.  Still evolving!

Since starting to tweet (about 6 weeks ago), I haven’t been making as many blog posts. While (my) blog posts take a while to compose, the tweets are (relatively) spontaneous and instantaneous. 

Addressing or commenting on immediate issues seems to have been made easy:  maybe one of the reasons Twitter has become so popular.  Also, in the "quick-fix society" in which we live, Tweeting seems to pull ahead by attracting all types of folk—writers and bloggers or not, and the famous, as well as the not-so.  Personal and technical resources needed are limited.  And, of course, it’s free!

What do my Tweets of the last few days reveal?

A quick look at my Tweets from the last few days is pasted below (as a list). If you add groups of them together, mini-stories and/or messages emerge. Others are one-off comments or responses to what others may have said—simply ways to connect back or respond. 

1.  A caution re. vets in Toronto and options:  who to see and who to avoid.
2.  A caution re. small dog illnesses and symptoms, like blocked anal glands.
3.  Thanks to those who have retweeted what I have had to say.
4.  Thanks to those who have recommended me/what I’ve had to say.
5.  Quotes and insights re. life and happenings.
6.  Responses to celebrities.

Actual Tweets

•  Thanks for the RT re. #Vets about 1 hour ago from web in reply to @Looking4God
   
•  Thanks Jilly for the rec and interesting info! about 1 hour ago from web in reply to @JillyWisdom
   
•  Not all #vets are pet-sensitive. #Toronto now has alternatives to VEC, also available 24 hours. Rec Downtown Vet Church Street for Sundays about 1 hour ago from web
   
•  Small dogs need quick attention when something is wrong. Decline is fast. Don’t listen 2 vets you don’t trust. B safe. Go elsewhere + push about 1 hour ago from web
   
•  Rough night with Sage post surgery. Toronto VEC vet intern had told us 2 c regular vet tomorrow. Thankfully we didn’t. Went to Downtown vet! about 1 hour ago from web
   
•  Once may be a mistake. Twice, you’re not certain what’s happening. Three times is a pattern. Now you know with whom you’re dealing. Caution! about 10 hours ago from web
   
•  Sandals = Most innovative product at Woofstock sold by http://doggieq.com Don’t damage dog’s toenails and protect from hot sidewalks $15 about 11 hours ago from web
   
• @melissagrelo VEC (Vet Emergency) needs to b better represented+more dog friendly if they plan to be there. Interesting stories to tell! about 11 hours ago from web in reply to melissagrelo
   
•  The more expensive the brand the smaller the number sizes on the labels:-) about 11 hours ago from web in reply to @SherriEShepherd
   
•  Blue skies and a sunny day in Toronto—and it’s the weekend. Finally a hint of summer in the air! Seize the moment and enjoy:-) 7:20 AM Jun 13th from web
   
•  Hard work doesn’t always bring rewards externally, but feeling good inside is worth a whole lot more—knowing that your tried and never lied 7:16 AM Jun 13th from web
   
•  Growing ego may lead 2 shrinking heart. The quicker the fix, the greater the expectation—and disappointment:-) 7:08 AM Jun 13th from web in reply to @JillyWisdom
   
•  And the more you put yourself out there, the more you have to be prepared for what might come back at you:-) 7:04 AM Jun 13th from web in reply to @JillyWisdom
   
•  #Canada, shame on you for selling #asbestos to #developing countries, like #India. Thx #CBC for drawing attention to this today on the news 6:59 AM Jun 13th from web
   
•  @hashsocial Thanks for sharing:-) 6:49 AM Jun 13th from web in reply to @hashsocial
   
•  @DocSarah Thanks for sharing:-) 6:48 AM Jun 13th from web in reply to @DocSarah
   
•  #quote: Those who don’t have the courage to reply say more about themselves and their own inadequacies than they do about you and yours:-) 6:47 AM Jun 13th from web
   
• @aplusk Reading what others have to say is more important than saying what doesn’t need to be said:-) 4:42 AM Jun 13th from web in reply to @aplusk
   
• #Facebook name: Susan.R.Makin 4:37 AM Jun 13th from web

• @DocSarah and acceptance that no matter how hard you try, others may pull ahead, without trying 4:35 AM Jun 13th from web in reply to @DocSarah

It’s never too late to get married! Lev and Sage, art studio assistants and editors-in-chief of the DocSusan sites, helped set an example, Sunday June 7, 2009. They participated in a special high-tea happening at the Méridien King Edward Hotel to herald Woofstock, while helping raise funds for canine cancer research, via the Ontario Veterinary College’s Pet Trust. In the evening, following the cermeony, the happy couple’s TV news interviews appeared on City and Global. Also, additional video footage and photos, of them and the event, were posted by the Toronto Sun, the Torontoist, and the Globe and Mail.

Once the party was over, mother of both bride and groom (DocSusan), and bride (Lev) and groom (Sage) took a moment to relax. This photo, from a friend’s iphone, was the most relaxed of the day!

For more about Lev and Sage, and their wedding details,  please check out earlier blog posts.  These include:

• Exchanging Vows, With Poetry At Woofstock Wedding—Today. Lev and Sage Are the Happy Bride and Groom (June 7, 2009)
• Woofstock’s Weddings for Dogs—Today! (June 7, 2009)
• Wedding Announcement! A Later in Life Marriage for Older Woman, Younger Man, and It’s Dog-Friendly (May 28, 2009)
• 12 Years-Old Today—Lev Makin, Editor-in-Chief, DocSusan’s Blog. From Puppy to Pensioner! (February 5, 2009)
• Winter Fashion and Practicality for Dogs (February 7, 09)
• Paraphimosis: Little Penis, Big Swelling and Extrusion from the Prepuce—Sage’s Health Saga Continues (February 4, 2009)
• Dog-Shots by Lev and Sage Makin: Some of the Best Poses of 2008 (February 2, 2009)
• “The Sneeze”: Lev Makin (Blog Editor in Chief) Post Oral Surgery—Older Dog, Longer Recovery and Greater Concern (January 14, 2009)
• Sew Nice! Homemade as Tonic and Treasure (January 9, 2009)
• Lessons from 2008: Canine Confidence and Coincidence Cure (January 1, 2009)
• Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One. (December 25, 2008)
• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly. Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images (November 10, 2008)
• One to One at Apple: Customer Satisfaction and Doggies Included (July 26, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Favorite Dog Toy is a Duck (June 8, 2008)
• Artists Need Moral Support—and Caninekind Offers the Best (May 5, 2008)
• Artwork Approval: Animalkind like Animal Magic! (April 15, 2008)
• Every Art Studio Needs a Watch-Dog (April 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Sunbathing DOGS (March 12, 2008)
• “Happy Birthday!” Editor-in-Chief and Studio Assistant, Lev (February 5, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)
• ART STUDIO Assistants and Poodle Pals (April 1, 2007)
• DOG-Sitter Caution (January 21, 2007)
• PUPPY (Baby) Pictures (December 22, 2006)
• CAPE COD in Fall/Winter (November 6, 2006)

 
LEV to SAGE

Dearest Sage,

Fell for you at first sight
Though we did start with a little fight

Very soon the boss you knew I’d be
Ever since, complete harmony

Younger man, older woman

You let me win, think I’m cool
Toy boys rule!

All those emotions of mine you let ride
Always by my side

A shadow and a live spark
Great for a snuggle or run in the park

A flirt and attention seeker
But, no humans around, my best company-keeper

Even if there’s a difference in attitude and age
Who cares at this stage

You’re still my dog-love, I cherish you Sage!

SAGE to LEV

Dearest Lev,

I’m a tiny man
But, never without a plan

You’re a woman with special ways
Not for everyone, just perfect for me

To keep you happy
My ideas are very snappy

Your bark is worse than your bite
Even when we fight

Humans like me, dogs too
I make up for what you cannot do

Personable and bold, seldom shy
I’m your kind of a guy

As we age, more shared adventures we know
Through most things, together we comfort each other, and grow

The vet’s or the groomer’s, we’re side by side
No secrets to hide

Lev, you’re a spectacular bride!

For more about Lev and Sage, please check out earlier blog posts.  These include:

• Wedding Announcement! A Later in Life Marriage for Older Woman, Younger Man, and It’s Dog-Friendly (May 28, 2009)
• 12 Years-Old Today—Lev Makin, Editor-in-Chief, DocSusan’s Blog. From Puppy to Pensioner! (February 5, 2009)
• Winter Fashion and Practicality for Dogs (February 7, 09)
• Paraphimosis: Little Penis, Big Swelling and Extrusion from the Prepuce—Sage’s Health Saga Continues (February 4, 2009)
• Dog-Shots by Lev and Sage Makin: Some of the Best Poses of 2008 (February 2, 2009)
• “The Sneeze”: Lev Makin (Blog Editor in Chief) Post Oral Surgery—Older Dog, Longer Recovery and Greater Concern (January 14, 2009)
• Sew Nice! Homemade as Tonic and Treasure (January 9, 2009)
• Lessons from 2008: Canine Confidence and Coincidence Cure (January 1, 2009)
• Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One. (December 25, 2008)
• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly. Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images (November 10, 2008)
• One to One at Apple: Customer Satisfaction and Doggies Included (July 26, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Favorite Dog Toy is a Duck (June 8, 2008)
• Artists Need Moral Support—and Caninekind Offers the Best (May 5, 2008)
• Artwork Approval: Animalkind like Animal Magic! (April 15, 2008)
• Every Art Studio Needs a Watch-Dog (April 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Sunbathing DOGS (March 12, 2008)
• “Happy Birthday!” Editor-in-Chief and Studio Assistant, Lev (February 5, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)
• ART STUDIO Assistants and Poodle Pals (April 1, 2007)
• DOG-Sitter Caution (January 21, 2007)
• PUPPY (Baby) Pictures (December 22, 2006)
• CAPE COD in Fall/Winter (November 6, 2006)

Lev’s and Sage’s big day is finally here. Yes, they are getting married after 9.5 years of cohabitation!  And, here they are—the happy couple at their "dress rehearsal" on a sunnier day earlier this week.  Of course, it’s raining today—but they’ll have a great time anyway.

For more about Lev and Sage, please check out earlier blog posts.  These include:

• Wedding Announcement! A Later in Life Marriage for Older Woman, Younger Man, and It’s Dog-Friendly (May 28, 2009)
• 12 Years-Old Today—Lev Makin, Editor-in-Chief, DocSusan’s Blog. From Puppy to Pensioner! (February 5, 2009)
• Winter Fashion and Practicality for Dogs (February 7, 09)
• Paraphimosis: Little Penis, Big Swelling and Extrusion from the Prepuce—Sage’s Health Saga Continues (February 4, 2009)
• Dog-Shots by Lev and Sage Makin: Some of the Best Poses of 2008 (February 2, 2009)
• “The Sneeze”: Lev Makin (Blog Editor in Chief) Post Oral Surgery—Older Dog, Longer Recovery and Greater Concern (January 14, 2009)
• Sew Nice! Homemade as Tonic and Treasure (January 9, 2009)
• Lessons from 2008: Canine Confidence and Coincidence Cure (January 1, 2009)
• Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One. (December 25, 2008)
• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly. Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images (November 10, 2008)
• One to One at Apple: Customer Satisfaction and Doggies Included (July 26, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Favorite Dog Toy is a Duck (June 8, 2008)
• Artists Need Moral Support—and Caninekind Offers the Best (May 5, 2008)
• Artwork Approval: Animalkind like Animal Magic! (April 15, 2008)
• Every Art Studio Needs a Watch-Dog (April 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Sunbathing DOGS (March 12, 2008)
• “Happy Birthday!” Editor-in-Chief and Studio Assistant, Lev (February 5, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)
• ART STUDIO Assistants and Poodle Pals (April 1, 2007)
• DOG-Sitter Caution (January 21, 2007)
• PUPPY (Baby) Pictures (December 22, 2006)
• CAPE COD in Fall/Winter (November 6, 2006)

It’s never too late to get married!  Lev and Sage, studio assistants and editors-in-chief of the DocSusan sites, are setting an example!  Younger man (9.5 years), older woman (12.5 years), and he lets her win every time:-)  Please celebrate this good news with us, as a prelude to Woofstock, and to help raise funds for canine cancer research (via the Ontario Veterinary College’s Pet Trust).  Your background cheers will help them win the "best costume" award!  Skinny Sage has just had his ensemble refitted, and Lev will be beautiful in ivory. Since they’ve been living together for a while, already, Lev decided against white, and that’s all we can tell you for now.  Just know they’ll look doglightful under their pet-friendly Chuppah, and we’re hoping for a few other surprises… The cameras will be rolling for those who can’t attend—lots of pictures and mementos to share with you, at Woofstock, as well as on-line, later.  Ceremony (with canine High Tea) at Le Méridien King Edward Hotel, Sunday June 7, 2009.

RESPECT is one of the "Three Rs": Respect, Reciprocity, Replies.  For more details about the two others, please see earlier blog posts (listed below) that have been highlighted in bold.

Back to basics:  showing respect for others

1. Arrive on time.
2. Listen with interest and focus.
3. Follow up on and stick to what’s been planned or discussed.
4. Give a  “please,”  “thank you,”  “sorry,” without prompt.
5. Show that we all matter equally, regardless of position.
6. Put yourself in the other’s shoes: value and acknowledge their effort.
7. Be prepared in advance, and present on the spot:  don’t waste anyone else’s time or energy.
8. Offer compensation or alternatives when/if things go wrong.
9. Don’t let your cell phone interrupt or take over.
10. Check self-importance at the door.

It’s surprising when (and where) there’s a need to point out “basics.”  Sadly, those in positions of the greatest authority may show the least consideration.  Expectations of them can lead to disappointments, and disappointments may be justified. The only “higher-ups” that deserve RESPECT are the ones who are able to give it.  In a world, and an economy, where anything can happen, being able to get back to basics helps us know (not just feel) what might be right and/or wrong.

How do you confirm you’ve not been respected?  

1. If 5 or more items on the ten-point list (above) appear to have been ignored, intentionally or not.  
2. If you have a stress response later, like IFS (Instant Fatigue Syndrome)

IFS (Instant Fatigue Syndrome)

Fatigue seems to come from nowhere.  One minute you were fine. The next, you feel drained.  Stress can do this!  A feeling of powerlessness and disappointment take over, and nothing (not even the kind words of those who understand) appears able to lift your spirits or energy.  

To go with the fatigue or not?  Sometimes you don’t have a choice.  Being able to sleep things off is a luxury and necessity. Dragging yourself around in pain (without gain) can often make things worse.  Take the time out that you need to regroup, and know better for next time, that no else has the power to drain your essential energies, hopes, and inspiration.  You are weren’t problem!  They were…  Let this be an isolated experience and learning opportunity…

Too polite, or awkward, to let it be known how you feel?

You are not alone!  Most of us would have a similar reaction.  If we were to speak up, we might not be heard anyway. So, what would be the point?  No one likes to be criticized, and complaints often fall on deaf ears.  No wonder there’s so much glumness around!  Fight glumness by moving on. When it’s clear that another can’t show you the respect you’re due, step back and away.  But, don’t be silent about what occurred, indefinitely.  Help make sure that no one else be unnecessarily upset in the same way.  “Forewarned is forearmed,” or so it’s said.

Earlier respect-related Blog Posts include:

• Relationship Watch: Don’t Know What to Do? Do Something! Doing (and Thinking) Differently in 2009 (January 18, 2009)
• New Year’s Resolutions for 2009: Forgiveness Tops Many a List (December 30, 2008)
• Reflections on “The Season of Giving”: Who Cares? Doers, Takers, Nosey-Pokes, Nothingers (December 28, 2008)
• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• No “PLEASE,” No “THANK-YOU,” No HAPPY (May 30, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)

This evening’s Facebook Garage started with presenters sharing some Facebook facts:

Basic Statistics
• 150 million users, worldwide (as of January 09).
• The average user has 120 friends.
• 70% of users are outside the US.
• More than 50% of users are beyond college age.
• 3 billion minutes every day are spent on FB.  
• FB is the 6th largest "web property" in the world.
• FB’s intention:  to help make the world more open and and connected (a better place).
• 6000 developers are involved with platform-building.

Facebook and Canadians
• Canadians use social networks more than any country in the world and spend the most minutes on FB (300 a month, per user).
• 50% of Canadians are on FB and half of these people are on every day.
• Over 70% of Torontonians are on FB.

Three Uniquely Facebook Features
One click log-in, and then:
1. Identity: FB is the first site where people gave their real world identity
2. Friends:  FB connects peoples’ real world friends (friends that users already have, not random friendships). Most users bring friends with them…and then there’s "social filtering."  Whatever your friends have contributed will come to you, and you’ll be more interested in it because of who is involved.
3. Distribution: FB information is shared between friends. All links go back and around, and conversations start…

Facebook is Evolving 
• FB’s 2006 (old) look recently got a makeover.  
• "Facebook Connect" has been introduced. "Facebook Connect" goes beyond FB into the wider Web. 6,000 sites have adopted "Facebook Connect," so far, and the number of registered users to those Websites has been seen to increase 20 - 100% in one day with it.

Hot Topics
• Check out "Facebook Connect" (http://developers.facebook.com/fbconnect.php)
• Facebook is hiring!

Family Day, a holiday that’s unique to Ontario, Canada, and in its second year, proves challenging to some who live solo. Local decision-makers might not have realized and/or taken into account all the variables and ramifications. This province-wide holiday comes just two days after Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day might have felt awkward for individuals without a “special someone” in their life with whom to celebrate. The next day, they recuperate:  move on from worries about having been unable to identify.  Then, another blow: a similar holiday in rapid succession that seems to have even less relevance to their status, experience, and/or interests.

That the number of singles (never married, divorced, widowed, or separated) is growing, in Canada and elsewhere, is not just a fact.  It’s a reality! Unfortunately, most events scheduled in and around Toronto (as listed in the Toronto Star for Family Day) don’t appear to take this into consideration.  A lot of Torontonians can’t but help feel left out.  However, it’s embarrassing for them to complain out loud. So, what can they do, and how might legislators show greater sensitivity in future years?  Should a “Solo Day” be inserted into the calendar too?

Even if  “Family Day” alienates with a name that’s not every-citizen-inclusive, it’s still important to make the most of the opportunity for a day off, and find alternative purpose for festivity. Better not to lament over what the day might be supposed to represent if you are without family and/or have unhappy familial associations. More advisable to try and make the effort to do something worthwhile, memorable, productive, or relaxing, how ever possible.

Here are some suggestions (in random order) to assist solos who might feel disconnected and/or blue on, or due to, Family Day.  Though each person might have different priorities (needs, limitations, capacities, and capabilities), staying optimistic and being open to doing, thinking, and believing differently is important:

1.   Focus on other personal positives and accomplishments.
2.   Stay active (and distracted) with work projects and/or hobbies.
3.   Avoid situations and venues that cause discomfort.
4.   Hang out with others in similar circumstances.
5.   Volunteer and help those less fortunate.
6.   Welcome invitations that are feel-good opportunities, for self or others.
7.   Relax and rest at home if going out doesn’t seem like it will be fun.
8.   Enjoy pets and focus on spending quality time with them.
9.   Catch up with administrivia (bills) and housekeeping (clean up).
10. Smile! (even if you don’t want to)—perhaps the simplest way to start feeling better.
11. Self-Indulge:  read a good book, go for a run, have a glass of wine or massage…
12. Host a get-together or pot-luck: invite other solos and/or families.

Hats off to families (and friends) who are able to reach out to solos and include and/or make a fuss of them, on Family Day especially!  

Earlier related bog posts include:

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romance, it’s about friendship too—caring, sharing and expressing thanks.  

In a Today Show segment, (January 3rd 08), Shannon Ethridge, author of The Sexually Confident Wife, told how healthy relationships fuel our lives.  Lesley Rotchford, Deputy Editor of Cosmopolitan told how a new year can offer the push you need to move on. The following poem highlights the importance of (good) friends…

Friends Need Friends

Friends are there
When you need them to care

Friends do
No need to ask

Friends are strangers
And strangers are friends

Those about whom we know less
May give more

Those whom we least expect
Hang in and on, don’t reject
Feelings protect

Farewell to friends who aren’t really
Farewell to friends who thought they were, nearly

Friends are there
When you need them to care

We treasure them dearly

True friends know who they are
As well as who they can be

Less is more
And more may be less

Small stuff no big deal
Loyalty real.

Take time to treasure friends old, new, and in between—and show them you do!   Never too late to be (back) in touch with those (once) held dear…  Facebook and other social networking sites are helping a lot of us do this!

Earlier FRIENDSHIP-related blog posts include:

• Relationship Watch: Don’t Know What to Do? Do Something! Doing (and Thinking) Differently in 2009 (January 18, 2009)
• New Year’s Resolutions for 2009: Forgiveness Tops Many a List (December 30, 2008)
• Reflections on “The Season of Giving”: Who Cares? Doers, Takers, Nosey-Pokes, Nothingers (December 28, 2008)
• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• No “PLEASE,” No “THANK-YOU,” No HAPPY (May 30, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)

Bravo! The 2009 "Best In Show" Westminster Kennel Club trophy was awarded to "Ch Clussexx Three D Grinchy Glee," aka "Stump,"  a Sussex Spaniel.

Yes!  It’s thrilling that this handsome and calm old boy is the 133rd “Best in Show.”  What a great outcome (and encouragement) for everyone who loves, cherishes and lives with old and/or ailing dogs!

In 2004, Stump had a mystery illness that lasted 19 days and from which he nearly died.  Fortunately, he wasn’t given up on and able to rally, miraculously.  Four years later he’s still going strong, napping and lounging always acceptable—and now, especially.

Perhaps, it helps that Stump sleeps with a previous Westminster Kennel Club winner, JR (a white Bichon Frise).  In fact, JR accompanied Stump to NYC for this year’s competition (as moral support). Is it time for an important message to be put out there?  Please be more sensitive to and embrace older dogs.  They have a lot to offer.  Puppies are fun, but dogs in their golden years are extra special, and there are many out there to take care of and/or adopt.

Stump, already "retired," did no specific training for the competition.  He just rose to the occasion, literally, and seemed a "natural."  As a finale, he surprised and excited the crowd by standing on his hind legs after receiving the award.  Then, at the press conference, directly following his victory, he was a little tired.  But, anyone would have been—(wo)man or dog.  What a whirlwind experience he had had, and the night was still young.  His social calendar for the next 24 hours would be packed!

Best in Show judge, Sari Brewster Tietjen, said that Stump represents so much for a breed that’s hard to find.  She was clearly delighted to have been able to choose him.

Scott Sommer, Stump’s co-owner/handler suggested that Stump’s travel and event schedule during his year as champ would be significantly less than Uno’s (last year’s winner).  Stump would definitely try to do what he could, but within reason.  After all, age, geography, and logistics are significant factors to consider.

Amercan Kennel Club Details:

• Ch Clussexx Three D Grinchy Glee
• Breed: Spaniel (Sussex)
• Sex: Dog
• AKC: SN 61688903
• Date of Birth: December 01, 1998
• Breeder: Douglas Horn & Douglas Johnson & Dee Duffy
• Sire: Ch Three D Genghis Khan
• Dam: Ch Clussexx Sprinkled With Dew
• Owner: Cecilia Ruggles & Beth Dowd & Scott Sommer

Happy Birthday Lev!

Loving
Emotional
Vital

and lots lots more…

Photos of Lev from February 4th, VEC waiting room (with Sage), just prior to getting a clean bill of health after recent oral surgery. For more about Lev’s oral surgery, please see an earlier blog post:  “The Sneeze”: Lev Makin (Blog Editor in Chief) Post Oral Surgery—Older Dog, Longer Recovery and Greater Concern (January 14, 2009).

December - January, Sage got a penis infection (the preliminary diagnosis we were given).  I’m not sure that I noticed he was unwell right away… This new health challenge may have followed his grooming or coming off antibiotics.  It’s hard to be certain.  But, when I track back, it’s clear that Lev knew something was happening before I did, and alerted me. For more about the "second-dog advantage," please check out an earlier blog piece, Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One (December 25, 2008).

This time around, the two dogs adopted some cute positions together (hence the photos). Then, suddenly, they didn’t look cute anymore. Please see beneath Lev’s paw in the image below.

While I am open to homeopathy and alternatives, I still value conventional medicine, especially when time is of the essence.  In certain cases, antibiotics and other meds may need to be prescribed without delay, proper attention being given to potential side-effects. Also, a regular vet may not, always, be able to provide all the answers.  So, if the opportunity presents, don’t be afraid to ask a specialist (human) physician, like a urologist, (as I did).  Acess what’s feasible for another species…then proceed with caution.

Speaking with the urologist confirmed to me that dogs (male and female) can get yeast infections too, especially following treatment with antibiotics (not discussed on several investigatory vet visits). In addition,  Probiotic yogurt, which I’d thought to administer, just in case, might not have been a cure-all.  At the height of Sage’s discomfort, a combination of yeast infection and anti-inflammatory creams (in very small quantities) seemed to help a lot more than the advice to just lubricate…

Since Sage’s condition, ultimately diagnosed as paraphimosis, has been so concerning and prolonged, an information meeting with Dr. Craig Miller at VEC was recommended to discuss possible surgical options.  This occured yesterday. The main solutions he suggested weren’t too pleasant:  extenstion, reduction, or amputation!  Then, after paying another $173.25 (for a 15-minute consult, without examination), we weren’t inclined to ask for an estimate for how much such surgical procedures might cost…  Alternatively, there’s on-going "behavior management," which seems to be working for now: preventing licking (after lubrication and reinsertion) by keeping the area protected.

For more on-line details about canine paraphimosis, treatment options, and causes, PetPlace.com is a good place to start looking.

Earlier blog posts about Lev and Sage and canine health and safety concerns include:

•  “The Sneeze”: Lev Makin (Blog Editor in Chief) Post Oral Surgery—Older Dog, Longer Recovery and Greater Concern (January 14, 2009)
• Lessons from 2008: Canine Confidence and Coincidence Cure (January 1, 2009)
• Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One (December 25, 2008)
• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly. Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images (November 10, 2008)
• Sick Pets and Veterinary Waiting Rooms (November 6, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Holistic Dental Hygiene: For Dogs and Their Humans (March 4, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)
• Dog WEIGHT LOSS and WELL-BEING (June 2, 2007)
• Animal Rescue: DOG-Neglect/SELF-Neglect (May 5, 2007)
• Rescue Dog, “Joey” (May 5, 2007)
• DOG FOOD that’s Safe and Delicious (March 20, 2007)
• DOG-Sitter Caution (January 21, 2007)

Usually, pictures say more than words.  And, in the age of digital photography, it’s hard to resist the urge to snap most everything in sight.  Here are even more of our favorite photographic memories from the year just gone by.

Bravest dog:  Sage in lampshade collar, post oral surgery

Sea of fleece:  Matching dog beds and outfit (by Susan), Lev modeling

Sunbathers:  Lev and Sage enjoying winter sun-time, from indoors

Best travel Companions:  Dogs (Lev and Sage) on the road, in car crate

Other favorite photographic memories from 2008 are included in: What to See and/or Do in 2009. Photos, Memories, Ideas, and Surprises from 2008. PART 1 (January 26, 2009), What to See and/or Do in 2009. Photos, Memories, Ideas, and Surprises from 2008. PART 2 and What to See and/or Do in 2009. Photos, Memories, Ideas, and Surprises from 2008. PART 3 (January 31, 2009).

Others might not like to admit to creativity lulls or feelings of let-down.  But, as my blog evinces, throughout, I think it’s important to be real and not sugar-coat.  Information sharings can be helpful all round:  affirm we are not alone and others have been there too (and got through).  If we don’t acknowledge all our mood-shades (blacks, as well as whites and grays), appearances risk being deceptive.  Life is seldom as perfect as it might be thought for anyone, and authenticity matters.

I am still on a hiatus from painting.  By the close of 2008, I’d participated in three big shows and series (07 - 08), directly after art school graduation (06). Also, as is familiar to most other "emerging artists," the cumulative run-around from a variety of solicitors (galleries, dealers, agents, businesses, and organizations) who’d proved less reputable and reliable than hoped and assumed, was straining.  End result:  a loss in momentum— the need to take time for the "Three Rs," Rethink, Relax, Reboot.

My slow-down really began when I was too sick (medically/physically) to paint. Until I’m properly well, it’s not wise to resume. That said, it’s not something I’m rushing to do…  A dear artist friend recently shared details of her own time-out.  Her example and perspective were inspirational. A wonderfully talented individual, I was in awe of her insight and understanding (journey and recovery) and lack of competitiveness. 

There is always light at the end of the tunnel, but we need to be kind to ourselves (and have others be kind to us), and not push.  At least that’s the advice I tend to share in other contexts…

My studio isn’t empty.  The last painting that I finished (in October 08) jumps out on entry.  It’s a 60 x 40 inch oil on canvas abstract that became a horse:  a beautiful, calming soothing creature who looks like she’s confident and peaceful.  This piece was different in style than what’s been typical for me, over the past few years.

Thinking back to when I painted this last piece, I realize I sensed that something was going on. (The art therapist in me kicked in.) What I was trying to paint wasn’t coming out as I’d planned.  But, when does it ever, really?  I gave in and let happen whatever wanted to manifest on the canvas. 

This Horse piece followed on from a Duck, a Bird, and a Deer/Fox.  All four paintings will appear in the DocSusan artwork galleries, eventually… with stories about them.  In the meantime, please be patient—with me, yourself, and othewise.  Though we seem to live in a "quick-fix society," real life doesnt work that way.  All good things are worth the wait!

Earlier blog posts on artistic challenges include:

▪ Torrit Grey and Regenerating Creativity (October 11, 2008)
▪ Art Shows: Business Priorities Versus Exhibitor Satisfaction (July 23, 2008)
▪ #20. PRECIOUSNESS/VALUE (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 30, 2007)
▪ #19. SHARING (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 29, 2007)
▪ #18. LIMITATIONS (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 28, 2007)
▪ #17. MESSAGE(S) (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 27, 2007)
▪ #16. (SPECIAL) GIFT(S) (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 26, 2007)
▪ #15. ARTIST PLUS (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 25, 2007)
▪ #14. TIME (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 24, 2007)
▪ #13. THE PUZZLE (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 23, 2007)
▪ #12. SERENDIPITY (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 22, 2007)
▪ #11. ORGANIZATION (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 21, 2007
▪ #10. PRICES (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 18, 2007)
▪ #9. SUPPORT, PATRONAGE, GRANTS (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) 
(November 16, 2007)
▪ #8. “JK ROWLING SYNDROME” (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 14, 2007)
▪ #7. PAINTER’S FATIGUE (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!") (November 12, 2007)
▪ #6. NOTICING THE DETAILS (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 10, 2007)
▪ #5. STRATEGIC/CONSCIOUS PAINTING (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) 
(November 8, 2007)
▪ #4. CREATIVE PRESSURE/RELEASE (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 4, 2007)
▪ #3. SACRIFICE (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (November 1, 2007)
▪ #2. STAMINA (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (October 28, 2007)
▪ #1. ENDURANCE (Reflection While Painting “Buon Appetito!”) (October 24, 2007)
▪ Candid Artistic Ramblings: Reflections While Painting “Buon Appetito!”—Preparing for the Florence Biennale (October 19, 2007)
▪ INSTINCT, EXPRESSION, and CREATIVITY—in WRITING, PAINTING, and MUSIC (July 31, 2007)
▪  PAINTING and PERSEVERANCE (July 27, 2007)
▪  Entering PAINTING COMPETITIONS Can Be Disheartening (July 16, 2007)
▪  Stages of My PAINTING PROCESS (July 5, 2007)
▪  PAINTERS and WRITERS: Survival Tips, Cautions, and Experiences (March 30, 2007)
▪  PAINTING: Getting to the heART of why we do it (January 5, 2007)

This is an exciting day and land-mark occasion world-wide—the swearing in of President Barack Hussein Obama as 44th President of the United States!

For those of us not in the US, some ways to connect and/or participate:

• Television:  BBC live Coverage will begin at 4:00 pm Greenwich Mean Time
• Social Networking:  CNN on Facebook, 8:00 am to 6:00 pm Eastern Standard Time (US)
• E-Bulletins and Links: CBS’s Couric and Co’s Inside Scoop
• On-Line Newspaper: TimesOnLine
• On-Line Broadcast Links:  CBC.ca

Question:  A New Media Inauguration?  The BBC asks who will triumph on the day, new or old media?

Watching the Clock…  Obama’s Inauguration Schedule Highlights (Eastern Standard Time, US)

• 11:30 a.m. Obama announced at West Front of Capitol
• 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Inauguration Ceremony
• 12:35 p.m. Departure ceremony for outgoing President George W. Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney
• 12:45 p.m. Signing ceremony in the President’s Room in the Capitol
• 1:05 p.m. Inaugural luncheon at Statuary Hall
• 2:20 p.m. Review of troops on East Front
• 2:25 to 6 p.m. The 56th Inaugural Parade travels down Pennsylvania Avenue from the Capitol to the White House
• 8 p.m. to 2:30 a.m. Obama to appear at 10 inaugural balls

Connect how and whenever you can—and enjoy in the moment!

For a very quick reminder of election night 08, please see: A Night to Remember: US Elections From Canadian Side of the Border—Best, Worst, and Unsurprising Details (November 6, 2008).

I took the flag-shot at the start of this post in Fort Williams Park by Portland Head Light, Cape Elizabeth, Portland, Maine.  Well worth a visit!

There’s a beautiful walled garden, in Reynolds Park, Woolton (a Liverpool suburb).  Yesterday, perhaps because there weren’t any flowers in bloom, we were struck by the number of benches there.  Benches given in memory of those who’d enjoyed the garden previously.  Soon, it seemed, there might not be room left for any more.  Sad, satisfying, sweet, and significant…

Earlier “in memoriam” blog posts include:

• IN MEMORY of Tim Russert, and Others Less Easily Remembered (June 14, 2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)

An interesting coincidence:  BBC News Morning News has just advised it’s Blue Monday today, the gloomiest day of the year. However, the benches in Reynolds Park look anything but!

The Today Show, January 2nd, discussed Relationships, and their significance for 2009.  2008 having been a difficult year for most of us, psychiatrist, Gail Saltz, in a "New Year, New You" segment, stressed how important is is to be able to focus on the positive, for oneself, and with others.  Her main points (and advice) included:

1. The number one source of happiness is relationships, not material stuff.  
2. When you think negative thoughts you’ll think more negative thoughts.
3. Jot down the small things that made you happy today to help shift you towards a more positive attitude.
4. The more spiritual you can be, the better you’ll cope.
5. Give to others (think outside of yourself).
6. Just changing perspective can make things easier for you.

Most human beings thrive on love, affection, and connection but are afraid to ask for it, especially if they’re alone or isolated (by chance or choice).  Not matter how much someone protests that they don’t need help or consideration, they usually do.  Awkwardness and pride get in the way.  Real friends ignore protestations and act anyway:

TO DO

1.  Don’t know what to say to those experiencing loss? You don’t have to. Call/visit anyway. Better that than to do nothing at all.  "Being there" is the greatest gift and doesn’t cost.

2.  Don’t know if those who are sick need help?  Don’t ask, just do.  When we’re weak it’s not always possible to speak.  Everything’s an extra effort, and no one likes complainers.  Those surrounded by loving and kind others (close relatives, or strangers) make speedier recoveries.  Phone calls, food packages, rides to the hospital, and get-well cards all count.  There are a variety of ways to "be there" even if you’re far away, emotionally or geographically.

3. Celebrate others year-round, not just occasion-round.  Don’t overlook those who don’t reach typical milestones (births, marriages, engagements, anniversaries).  Birthdays, new jobs, new homes, and "just because" acknowledgments are important too.  It’s not only the attention received at extra special times that counts, it’s the attention that’s shown day-to-day.  Everyone likes to feel worthwhile, no matter how little fuss they make!

4.  Transition from "me-" to "we-" thinking.  Self-absorption is a disease of the 21st century.  Don’t fall victim to it!  Most relationships seem to happen (and last) on a needs basis, but they don’t have to.  Just because you’ve married/had kids and your friend hasn’t, don’t desert him.  Just because you’re a girl seeking a guy, don’t be jealous/angry when a girl pal meets a guy before you do.  Sticking around for someone else, and/or being happy for them, even if your circumstances aren’t as favorable are point-scorers.  Walking or fading away, and silences damage once-good bonds and histories beyond repair, and the collateral damage (depression, hurt, and beyond), whether it’s recognized or not, after-the-fact, can be devastating.  

TO THINK ABOUT

1.  Savoir-faire matters (know-how, or knowing what to do)  Health, connections, happiness, and good fortune are all gifts.  Some of us have more opportunity for, and access to, them than others.  Even if we are not in control of the bigger picture, we may have the ability to influence smaller happenings:  help make difficult situations easier for those with whom our life intersects.  Knowledge is power, and denying what you know, when you could do something to help make things easier (for someone else), is unfortunate.  Good Intentions, even if they backfire, reflect well.  For those who are responsible and upfront (show good intent), no games/guises equals no regrets!

2. Sad, but true, circumstances change in moments.  Life can be humbling, emotionally as well as physically and materially/financially.  Some can’t relate to negative circumstances.  Others know little else.  Cliché as it might seem, seeing the cup half-full and putting yourself in another’s shoes are important.

Earlier related blog posts include:

• New Year’s Resolutions for 2009: Forgiveness Tops Many a List (December 30, 2008)
• Reflections on “The Season of Giving”: Who Cares? Doers, Takers, Nosey-Pokes, Nothingers (December 28, 2008)
• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• No “PLEASE,” No “THANK-YOU,” No HAPPY (May 30, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)

Every moment with my dogs is special.  And, as they age, I realize, all the more, what a gift it is that they’ve had reasonably healthy lives, so far.   When they do get sick, which seems to be more frequently of late, it’s very distressing…  Old age and health challenges come to us all, no matter our species or status.  It’s all in how they’re handled:  our own attitude as well as that of those who stick around and how they help see us through.  Earlier blog posts about this include:  Hat-Tricks and Hospital Waiting Rooms (November 5, 2008), Sick Pets and Veterinary Waiting Rooms (November 6, 2008) Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One. (December 25, 2008).

Not to outdo Sage and myself, Lev had emergency surgery yesterday.  I’d noticed “the sneeze” for a couple of weeks.  It was intermittent and not like Sage’s—more like a human’s (she’s a bigger dog). It came in series, usually earlier in the day or later at night.  Her playing, eating, barking, walking/running, and bossing were unchanged, but her eyelids, especially over the last few days, started to look swollen (patches of flesh evident between her hairs)…

Sage and I had taken attention away from Lev, over recent months, with our own surgeries, and she had been our “rock.”  This gave me a niggling fear that Lev might not be indestructible herself.  Sometimes you just know…  Once Sage and I were more alert and able to resume semi-normal activities, I observed Lev more closely, taking her straight to the operating theater.  Something wasn’t quite right! “The Sneeze” was the signal…

Please be aware that vets who aren’t certified in animal dentistry can’t always be sure where sneezing can come from.  But, that said, and after-the-fact, even as a lay person, I’ve come to find this hard to comprehend…  In Sage’s case, Dr. Mason jumped to do an elaborate (and expensive) battery of general tests that could have been avoided.  If he’d followed Dr. Kneebone’s referral note’s suggestion to do dental XRays, we could have been saved a lot of grief.  After all, Dr. Kneebone’s deduction came as a result of numerous visits to her office, and homeopathic remedies (again, all at a price—financially and emotionally).  In retrospect, I fear that the “dance” may have continued, had I not screamed for conventional emergency help…  

After an unnecessarily drawn out and frustrating experience like the one Sage endured, you do not forget easily.  We paid Dr. Mason (heftily), but Pet Care did not reimburse us.  This had something do with the way in which Dr. Mason filled out the insurance claim form. It also had something to do with Pet Care’s policies and practices. (There will be more about this in a future blog post.)  We canceled our pet insurance and we won’t go back to Dr. Mason…

This time around, because of the Sage-experience, I bypassed "referring vets" (and related expenses) and went straight to Dr. Sharon French.  She is as kind as she is professional and considerate.  She understands how vet bills can mount up, unnecessarily, delaying appropriate and expedient treatment, and only did the essential.  Once Lev had had the dental Xrays, confirmation was given of what was wrong.  And, when the surgery began, it was even clearer what needed to be done.  Six abscessed teeth were extracted!

 

Yesterday afternoon, I made another batch of home-made dog food in anticipation of Lev’s homecoming.  She wasn’t ready till nine last night, and a very sad and sore little girl…  Sage is still wearing his lampshade.  (His post-surgery health issue will be discussed in a later blog post.)  He  came with me to get her, wagging his tail, a mile a minute, after a very mellow day.  He greeted her lampshade to lampshade, but she wasn’t interested.

Lev’s nose bled and her tail was down. I held her in my arms and she couldn’t look at me.  Just whimpered.  The drive home, I had her on my lap, lifeless.  Only when we turned into our street did her head pop up and she started to cry.  I lifted her from the car and she walked into the house.  Remarkably, she made it to her favorite spot, climbing tentatively onto the kitchen table, from where she didn’t move.  And, as for the homemade dog food, she wasn’t even interested in that…. With difficulty, I let her be.  

Taking her to bed with me, I held and stroked her through the night.  Her breathing was congested and the snoring kept me up.  Finally, she managed to pee this morning.  And, when I shed a tear, she licked my face.  Sage has backed off in the attention-seeking department.  He’s stable, for now.  Lev needs all our love, and she’s going to get it!

Other blog posts about Lev and Sage, and the canine-human bond and health matters, include:

• Lessons from 2008: Canine Confidence and Coincidence Cure (January 1, 2009)
• Home for the Holidays! Sick Puppy Alert: When Two Dogs are Better than One. (December 25, 2008)
• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly. Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images (November 10, 2008)
• One to One at Apple: Customer Satisfaction and Doggies Included (July 26, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Artists Need Moral Support—and Caninekind Offers the Best (May 5, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Every Art Studio Needs a Watch-Dog (April 10, 2008)
• Sunbathing DOGS (March 12, 2008)

Under the weather and housebound can have pluses!  At the end of 2008, I gave myself permission to indulge and rediscover old (but not sufficiently explored hobbies, like cooking and sewing. Usually, with a rigorous work schedule there’d be no time…

Lev and Sage agreed to assist me with projects—new designs for their dog clothes and matching beds:

Getting going with sewing, I found out that Toronto is quite a hub for those looking to learn more about this craft.  There’s a bunch of facilities and teachers to suit all interests and budgets!  Here’s what I came across, more or less accidentally, not far from home:

• The Sewing Studio
• Sew Be It, Studio Workshop
• The Workroom
• Creative Sewing School (Barbara Hobbs, 416 483 6102, Avenue and Lawrence)

Denise, from the Sewing Studio, provided motivation with easy assignments, like the beds above!

Also, for supplies and equipment, I discovered a variety of options:

• For equipment and accessories, there’s the Sewing Centre (416 487 4438, 2144 Yonge Street).  Great customer service and lessons from Joe Murphy!

• For fabrics, Designer Fabrics on Queen is recommended by the trade, with the best prices, and most interesting offerings, off sale.

• For the best one-stop shop and discounts (with membership) Fabricland seems to dominate—though shopping there might be a fun experience.

• The Dollerama on Queen (close to Designer Fabrics) has some interesting accessories and tools.

As fate would have it, my little dog, Sage, (Editor in Chief of the DocSusan website) fell ill around the same time as I did. His fight for survival and bounce-back over the last few months was inspiring, when making sure I was well enough to take him to veterinary appointments became an interesting dance.  On the many days of bed rest between hospital procedures, we cuddled and snuggled and helped each other through.

Please check out my poetry about hospital waiting rooms and veterinary waiting rooms.  It shares experiences that most people will go through at one time or another—for which there is usually no preparation or easy way to cope.  Then there’s the waiting for the surgery to be over, and anticipation…

I am sincerely grateful to those who have been there for both Sage and myself through our challenging days, especially Lev (Editor in Chief of this blog)!  A happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year to everyone. Look forward, not back!  Better times ahead…

Forgiveness
A state of mind
More about you than me

Forgiveness
Nothing to do with stuff you may say I’ve done
That about which others, more savvy, might not have thought

Silences alienate
Anger bursts annihilate

Reason, too often not there
Do you really care?

You, not me

You, the one holding the grudge
You, the one whom it’s impossible to nudge

How upset you are is not what things are really about
Or your pout

Forgiveness
A state of mind
Distinguishes the difficult from the kind

Let another live, calmly, their life
Evaporate strife

Realize no one is perfect

We all make mistakes
And we all need breaks

Distance and time
Willingness and compensation
Altruism and imagination

Sometimes matters repair
Sometimes they induce heavier care

"Forgiveness," an 11-letter word
From word to action…

Kind gestures finally seem to matter more than material gifts, in part because of the economy, in part because there’s no substitute for healthful human connection.  This holiday season, I baked cookies for friends, neighbors, and neighborhood businesses.  These were genuinely appreciated.  Home-made—no matter how basic, like chocolate chip cookies—shows you care, and that you’ve put precious time aside to do so, beyond the actual gift-giving act or purchase.  During the planning and creation process, it just feels good to know that there can be simpler ways to make others happy.  The more impersonal and alienating/lonely the world becomes, the harder we have to try…

Who cares, and who doesn’t?  You might be surprised and disappointed to find out, especially at peak moments. 

Peak moments are special circumstances (like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other celebrations).  Peak moments can also be times of difficulty:  sickness, loss, disappointment—not health, gain, and happiness.

As we exit the "season of giving" it’s good timing to reflect on our own behavior, as well as others’.  "Do unto others as we would wish to have done unto us" is a familiar cliché," one that may seem increasingly hard to have ring true.  Until something happens to us, ourselves, we might not get that jolt—the jolt that is humbling.  As we stumble, we want another to help catch our fall.  But, there’s not always anyone there—anyone we can count on that is.

Four main personality types appear obvious:  Doers, Talkers, Nosey-Pokes, and Nothingers:

• Doers do, no need to talk about it, in advance or afterwards. They surprise and delight, excuses not necessary.  Doers might owe us nothing.  We can owe them everything.

• Talkers talk, but seldom come through—do or give to anyone else except themselves.

• Nosey-Pokes like to know what’s happening.  "Talking" and "doing" are not really their concerns.  Information check-ins help keep them in the loop—provide scoop/fuel for gossip, but little more.

• Nothingers don’t do, talk, or nose.  They simply aren’t interested in any way—unless it’s about them.

Friends you thought were friends might prove they’re not.  Strangers fill in the blanks, and beyond.  Expectations lead to disappointments.  Disappointments lead to expectations.  At peak moments, we’re likely to realize all of this, and more…

Good caring others may be found once we stop pursuing and/or grieving for those who aren’t.

Earlier related blog posts include:

• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)

Sick doggies may hide in safe places.  At first, I thought this image was cute.  Later, I realized it was a warning sign…

When illness strikes, the other dog often knows first.  Lev alerted me to Sage’s condition, once more, last weekend.  Thanks to her, I took quick action, and got him veterinary care without delay.  Due to Drs Dawne Martin’s and Sharon French’s prompt and careful treatment (at VEC), Sage was able to come home for the holidays, and recuperate. In a matter of days, he’s doing much better. A precious gift—and the only one I needed this holiday season!

Tuesday, surgery day, was a little stressful, as the following poem shows.   

Surgery Day:  Two Dogs, One Heart

She shivered and shook
A fear driven look
Tail down

At the veterinary office we were
Heavy care

Whites of eyes
Painful stare

Another procedure for Sage
Lev recognized every stage

And now, waiting for the call
The call that will let us know the procedure’s done
That the surgeon’s won

Waiting, not easy to do
Hoping, praying, distracting

A limbo land
A place that only those who’ve been there can understand.

Christmas Eve, Wednesday morning, Lev was taking care of Sage in bed.

Today, Christmas Day, both dogs have been basking together, in the sun, on an armchair.

Happy, HEALTHY holidays from Susan, Lev, and Sage!

For other blog posts related to canine health and wellbeing (and Sage’s history), please check out:  

• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Holistic Dental Hygiene: For Dogs and Their Humans (March 4, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)

Thanksgiving already a memory, the Christmas holidays are almost upon us.  No matter the holiday, house guests are usually involved.  How they behave (or don’t) can help make or break a happy home.

Some guests are house-trained.  Others are not, but can be coaxed.  Here’s a checklist of some essentials:

1.  Bring a gift (no matter how small, or homemade). Tokens of a appriectiation count.
2. "Thank you" matters.  Call or write within a couple of days.
3.  Strip/change the bed and gather up linens and towels for laundry, and/or replace with fresh ones before leaving (if not using your own).
4.  Clean the bathroom that you have been using (especially if it’s one that’s been for your exclusive use).
5.  Eat, drink, and enjoy without taking advantage.  If you know your needs are greater/different than what the host(s) can provide, come prepared or assist with filling the fridge, as necessary.
6.  Tidy up after yourself.  Even if you’re messy at home, try harder not to be elsewhere.  
7.  Know the "rules of the house."  If shoes are supposed to be taken off inside, they are supposed to be taken off inside.  If lights don’t need to be on in every room, lights don’t need to be on in every room…
8.  Be helpful.  Better than asking what you can do to help, take initiative, and do what’s needed to help.  If it’s garbage day, make sure that’s not overlooked.  If the host has a headache and might need a cup of tea, make one.

If you are not invited to stay again, perhaps check the list given above to help determine why.

Other blog posts about consideration and/or social etiquette include:

 • Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• Reliability, Vulnerability, Fear (October 8, 2008)
• Mixed Messages and Contradictions (September 29, 2008)
• PLAY NICE—Near and Far! (John Edwards too… (August 13, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (February 1, 2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
•  “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)

p.s. Reader feedback on this post has been interesting.  One suggestion has been to add a "point number 9"—"If the host gets upset with you for any reason, react calmly and don’t engage their frustration."  Let’s also wonder why a host might get upset, and if certain hosts can be too hard to please!

By chance, on Thanksgiving eve, I received notification that two more Boston charities were to be given my artwork for display.  I greatly appreciate how The Art Connection makes artist donorship possible, even for those who no longer live in the area.  I became involved with the Art Connection in 2006, and feel proud and honored to have had several dozen works chosen by 15 of their local charities in the last two years.  My artwork is now enjoyed by:

• Andrew Peabody School (A Rigorous Academic Approach with a Commitment to the Arts), Cambridge, MA
• Boston Public Health Commission (protecting, promoting, and preserverving the health and well-being of all Boston residents, particularly the most vunerable, Boston, MA
• Boston Rescue Mission (Transforming Lives at Risk Since 1899), Boston, MA
• Casa Esperanza (a bilingual bicultural Latino community sanctuary for those overcoming homelessness and/or addictions), Boston, MA
• CFCS_TLC (Cambridge Family and Children’s Sevice—Teens Learning Choices Programme), Cambridge, MA
• Community Work Services (promoting independence through employment, for challenged indivduals), Boston, MA
• Goddard House (Serving Elders Since 1849), Jamaica Plain, MA
• HAWC (Help for Abused Women and their Children), Salem, MA
• Health Care for All (providing comprehensive, affordable, accessible, culturally competent, high quality care for everyone, especially the most vulenerable), Boston, MA
• Malden Senior Community Center (a newly developed property providing services to Malden area seniors who previously utilized a center in a windowless basement), Malden, MA
• MAP for Health (health link for MA Asian and Pacific Islanders), Boston, MA
• Sherrill House, (a not-for proflt skilled nursing and rehabiliation Center), Jamaica Plain, MA
• St. Francis House (largest day shelter for the poor and homeless in New England), Boston, MA
• Triangle Inc (helping people with disabiliites), Malden, MA
• Year Up Inc (helping urban young adults), Boston, MA

In keeping with today’s food/Thanksgiving theme, the image at the start of this post is called "Ripe," and comes from the trilogy, "Ripe, Sweet, and Lonely," at St. Francis House (each image: 24 x 24, oil on canvas, 2005).  "Sweet" is inserted above this note, and "Lonely" below it. Thanksgiving is a great time to send kind wishes to, and care for, the "ripe," the "sweet," and the "lonely" —in the environment where this artwork is now on display, and beyond.  What a suitable home these paintings have found! 

Interestingly, The Art Connection is working on a "pilot project" at St. Francis House.  Accordingly, they asked me to write about the the pieces I have hanging there, including the "Ripe, Sweet, and Lonely" trilogy. In an effort to make art placements a bit more educational for clients, a statement from the artist, it’s hoped, can help give the viewer a better understanding of the work. This is what I wrote:

 "Ripe," "Sweet," and "Lonely":  three things I thought about while painting this trilogy.  Even though I’m ripe (all grown-up) and sweet (kind), I’m often lonely (as a single adult), just like so many others out there.  People might be compared to fruit, with outside (skin) and inside (taste) provoking different responses  Also, fruit cut up into pieces (like for a salad), can be arranged on the plate in a variety of ways.  Some fruits are placed close together and/or touch.  Others end up further apart.  Each of the three paintings focus on one description—the" ripe," the "sweet," or the "lonely"—and they are intended to be arranged in that order, from left to right.  I am quite comfortable painting food, as well as writing about it.  As an art therapist, I had a book published called, More Than Just a Meal:  The Art of Eating Disorders. (2000).  Also, when I didn’t get into a conventional landscape painting class at SMFA (the Museum of Fine Arts School, Boston) I decided to create my own landscapes in other ways.  Food offers many possibilities and gives much cause for thought.  There is not only the selecting and arranging of it, but the eating (to celebrate) that comes afterwards.  In my earlier work (to which these paintings belong) I came to like using pale blue backgrounds.  They show reflections and shadows well, especially when objects are not crowded together.  I also like the softness (and restfulness) of this color, and the contrasts it can encourage.  All the fruits painted in the "ripe, " sweet," and "lonely" set are among my favorites.  Their shapes, colors, textures, and flavors each have their own significance, as well as work well together.  As with most of the artwork I create, I don’t  like to create one-off single pieces.  I also prefer to work on several pieces simultaneously, going from one to the next, consistently.

To view more of my "food art," please check out the Snack Happy! and Buon Appetito! collections as well as the Representational Gallery, all on the DocSusan website.

Some face disappointments better than others, especially when they’re not alone.  Last week, Anne Curry spoke graciously about the Today Show team’s decision to discontinue their climb up Kilimanjaro.  Disappointing as it was, she appeared heartened by the experience.  Taking into account the well-being of everyone in the group of five had clearly been bonding, rewarding, and energizing.  Out of negativity can come positivity, especially if peers help cope with, share, and determine consequences.  Having to act, think, and feel by oneself (no support, discussion, or empathy) is a lot more challenging.

With respect to the Today Show’s Kilimanjaro ascent, it is not unusual that the group might not have made it to the top.  Regardless of poor weather conditions, and the extra responsibilities covering a story gave, statistics show that only 50% of those who set out do finish the climb.

If facing disappointment alone, what might help?

1.  Follow-up—having something else to which it’s possible to look forward
2.  Being prepared in advance—knowing (available) options, possibilities, and alternatives
3.  Aftercare—the ability to focus on other interests and distractions
4.  Knowing the odds—realistic expectations and keeping things in perspective
5.  Strangers making (helpful) approaches out-of -the-blue
6.  Family and friends not adding to letdowns
7.  Time—for healing, reflection, and reconnection
8.  Surprises—being open to coincidences and outcomes that might help lead to fresh opportunities

Earlier blog entries about other life-challenges (and stress-reaction-generators and -protectors), include:

• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• Solo Travel (October 22, 2008)
• Reliability, Vulnerability, Fear (October 8, 2008)
• Airport News Stands: Jennifer Aniston, “Straggler Single”: Uncommon Attention, Common Problems. (Poetry about Dating and Related Blog Entry Links Included) (August 22, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• No “PLEASE,” No “THANK-YOU,” No HAPPY (May 30, 2008)
• 24/7 (April 19, 2008)
• In Anticipation of VALENTINE’S DAY, Singles Included (February 13, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• February FUNK (February 3, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• Dating Games and Disappointments, On- and Off-Line: Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker Helps Identify Obstacles to Relationship-Making (January 25, 2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• SLEEP Issues (May 20, 2007)
• “MOTHER’S Day” for the Disconnected (May 16, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• FAMILIARITY (March 12, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• No-Partum Depression (NPD)—Not “Celebrity Gossip” Worthy (February 18, 2007)
• Notes on a Scandal: SINGLE and Living Vicariously (February 12, 2007)
• SINGLE Woman Syndrome (SWS) (January 30, 2007)
• Bad DATE Indicators (January 22, 2007)
• SINGLES’ Health: Eating Alone (January 14, 2007)
• SINGLE and Not Settling (December 29, 2006)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)
• Loss (November 19, 2006)

Earlier blog entries about the Today Show’s Kilimanjaro climb:

• Will "Today Show’s” Anne Curry Reach the Summit? No Live Camera Footage on Day Two of Reporting from Kilimanjaro, Just Inspiration and Conservation
(November 18, 2008)
• Tricks And Secrets For Making It To The Top: The Truth About Ascending Kilimanjaro By Someone Who’s Done It. “Today Show’s Anne Curry Struggling”—Dramatic Headline Tops Google Searches Yesterday (November 18, 2008)
• Anne Curry Climbs Kilimanjaro: Today Show Goes to the Ends of the Earth to Examine Life-Sustaining Sources of Water and Threats to Them. Preparing to Climb Kilimanjaro? Check DocSusan’s Blog (November 17, 2008)

THIS BLOG ENTRY IS A FOLLOW-UP TO 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly.Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images - November 10, 2008.) 

Synchronicity is interesting!  A Today Show segment, November 8, 08, discussed the healthiest food choices for dogs, and what to avoid.  The interviewee, pet expert, Andrea Arden raved about Wellness.  (Please check out an earlier blog entry of mine, Dog Food that’s Safe and Delicious, March 20, 2007.)

Wellness is likely one the best commercial brands on the market, for now, and Lev and Sage have been enjoying two of their more recent products, "Just For Puppy Treats" and" Small Breed Supermix 5."  Though both dogs are really out of the age range for these, they seem to thrive on them. The one packet of their "Just for Seniors" that we tried had a funny smell and texture.  After Lev and Sage struggled to finish it, I decided the product wasn’t for us.  Also, some of the canned (soft) food seemed to upset both dogs’ stomachs and give them bad breath…

Following Sage’s oral surgery, I had little choice but to try making dog food myself, something that would give the little chap essential nutrients for a speedy recovery and not have to be crunched.  As you’ll know from other blog entries, I don’t tend to record exact ingredients or instructions (The Cooking Gene—No Exact Recipes, Wholesome Cuisine 2: Cookies and Scones, September 25, 2008;  The Cooking Gene—No Exact Recipes, Wholesome Cuisine 1: Soups, September 22, 2008)  Here is what I used (roughly) for the dog food: 

Ingredients for Dog Food, with Chicken or Beef as Primary Protein
(all fresh, not frozen)

• 2 large heads of broccoli
• 4 large sweet potatoes
• 1 pack of baby carrots
• 1 pack of Lundberg Short Grain Brown Rice
• 2 cups of flaxmeal
• 4 packs of minced chicken
• 2 packs of minced beef
• Extra virgin olive oil (to cook the meat)
• A couple of cups of water, for cooking and blending ingredients

Cooking

Microwave all ingredients (separately) except the meat and poultry, which are cooked on the stove (also separately) in a large frying pan with a dash of olive oil.

Semi-Purée

All ingredients are blended except the rice, which remains whole and is added in last.  

Portioning

Two thirds of the vegetables and starches are mixed with the chicken and one third with the beef.  

32 (snack-food size) containers of freezable food are made in total—5 - 6 meal helpings in each, depending on the pet’s size and whether anything else is added at mealtime. There are 12 containers with beef and 20 with chicken.

I decided to start Sage off with the beef, since there’d be more iron with that (and he’d lost quite a bit of blood).

Food Toppers

To make the food more nutritious and interesting, I bought the following food toppers to sprinkle before serving:

• The Missing Link Canine Formula
• Liver Sprinkle
• Salmon Flakes

Preparation Time

Approximately two hours (+ shopping time).

Supply

Approximately 6 weeks’ worth of food (that freezes and defrosts well).

Please Note

I am not an expert in pet nutrition, but relied on common sense, enthusiasm and creativity for this project.  Even if these recipes aren’t perfect, likely they’re a lot better than most store-bought options.

Some Important Considerations for My Home-Cooking, Whether for Caninekind or Humans:

1.  Choose unprocessed ingredients.
2.  Prepare with love and care.
3.  Remember that what goes in must come out (hopefully, with good consistency and color, no stink).
4.  Be aware how breath smells after eating:  bad isn’t good.
5.  Note that less equals more.  A little can go a long way.
6.  Don’t forget the "yum" factor.  Food that’s eaten eagerly, must be tasty.

FOR OTHER BLOG ENTRIES RELATED TO HEALTH AND WELLBEING (and Sage’s history), please check out:  

• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)

• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)

• Holistic Dental Hygiene: For Dogs and Their Humans (March 4, 2008)

• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007) 

Anne Curry spoke by phone (live) from Kilimanjaro, today. Yes, breathing might be difficult, but wireless connections do work almost all the way to the top.  Many guides have cell phones, and chat and text frequently, while taking breaks!

How is Anne really doing?  Something viewers, and the other presenters, are clearly wondering.  Her voice definitely sounds like she’s experiencing altitude sickness.  Also, she must be fatigued from the climb, and the thinner air makes it difficult to speak normally.  Despite this, it’s obvious her spirits are high, as she confirmed.  What an accomplishment—not only to participate on the ascent, but to work as hard as she has done by bringing us such insightful, unique, and careful reporting, regardless of obstacles!*

The MSNBC crew are now at 15,700 feet, where, we’re told, they will have several days to adjust and relax.  Rest, perseverance, and teamwork, will, hopefully, see them through!  In my experience, the last 4,000 feet come more easily, thanks to the added benefits of Diamox, hand-warmers, adrenaline, warm clothes and water, and lots of faith.  Also, very important to know, Tanzanian guides and porters are incredible!

Be assured, each climber will be assisted and/or encouraged every step of the way from here on in—and checked with a pulse oximeter, frequently!  Also, please know that when I made it to the top on my own climb, I wasn’t able to take any photos or video footage.  The agony—and ecstasy—were simply too great!

All the best to Anne and her team. Even if the Today Show climbers don’t make it all the way, they’ve still given us a wonderful gift.  * The focus on water conservation—the real purpose of the trip—has been inspiring!  Most people who climb Kilimanjaro return home with life-changing/saving ideas, that hopefully will translate into actions, big or small.  I made a personal list, shared in a blog piece entitled, Lessons from Kilimanjaro (January 11, 2008). 

For further information on climbing Kilimanjaro, and firsthand accounting, please check out other earlier blog entries, listed in yesterday’s (November 17, 08) blog piece:  Anne Curry Climbs Kilimanjaro: “Today Show” Goes to the Ends of the Earth to Examine Life-Sustaining Sources of Water and Threats to Them.

For further details on how to become more "green," please check out NBC Universal’s Green Your Routine links.

There are many interesting aspects to the Today Show’s Anne Curry climb up Mount Kilimanjaro, beyond the notion that she might not make it to the top.  But, if Google rankings indicate popularity, David Bauder’s Associated Press article (which suggests that possibility) appears to be dominating search pages.

Readers and writers who haven’t had the privilege of ascending this great peak might not realize the daunting task this very talented and (usually) incredibly fearless journalist was given (at short notice).  They also might not know that mountain sickness (like weather condition changes) can come in waves.  Some days and hours are better than others. Those who have initial difficulties might do well later. Those who do well earlier might do poorly later.  Luck, predictability, certainty, and confidence aren’t quite the same above the clouds as below them.  

As I’ve revealed in recollections of my own climb, from last year, training doesn’t always matter as much as three other factors: Here are some personal tricks/secrets I discovered along the way, in an excerpt from from my December 2, 2007 Blog Entry:  Climbing KILIMANJARO—Making it to the Top

I wasn’t the fittest person in the group, I also hadn’t done enough (almost any) training.  So, how did I make it to the top (be in the 50% who do, and the only woman among peers)?  I think three factors helped:

For the last hour I wept my way up, partly out of pain, partly out of emotion—maybe more out of emotion. I couldn’t turn off my tears or howls. The tears froze and the howls got absorbed by the wind.  The feelings were intensely private.  But, as discussed later with climbing peers, appropriately universal.  These guys had had their own emotional releases too!  Reaching the top, we all embraced.  It was a magical moment in a glacial wonderland where we were too cold and tired to take photos or stick around.

Preparing to Climb Kilimanjaro?  For more details about the Kilimanjaro climbing experience, as well as links to ealier blog entries, please see my posting from yesterday (November 17, 08):  Anne Curry Climbs Kilimanjaro: “Today Show” Goes to the Ends of the Earth to Examine Life-Sustaining Sources of Water and Threats to Them.