The Today Show, Monday November 17, 08:  An Anniversary Gift!

A year ago, I summited Mount Kilimanjaro (the largest free-standing mountain in the world), and I remain deeply emotional about the experience.  That the Today Show is able to share some of the sights, concerns, and feelings I have been privileged to know first-hand maked me excited, curious, and senimental.  What will viewers responses be?  How will Anne Curry and her crew make the climb with all the physical and health challenges it entails, beyond the demands of producing pre-recorded and live television segments?

Did Anne Curry and MSNBC check DocSusan’s Blog as part of their research before climbing Kilimanjaro?  DocSusan’s poetry and advice about the Kilimanjaro climbing experience gets lots of hits due to its on-the-spot reflections, recollections, and reasonings.

Please check out these popular Kilimanjaro-related blog entries:

• Kilimanjaro Imax Video (April 22, 2008)
• Lessons from KILIMANJARO (January 11, 2008)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (5): Poems 8 and 9 (of 9) (December 12, 2007)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (4): Poems 6 and 7 (of 9) (December 10, 2007)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (3): Poems 4 and 5 (of 9) (December 9, 2007)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (2): Poems 2 and 3 (of 9) (December 7, 2007)
• Climbing KILIMANJARO: A Life Changing Experience and Poetic Opportunity (Kilimanjaro Poem 1 of 9) (December 4, 2007)
• Climbing KILIMANJARO—Making it to the Top (December 2, 2007)

The Associated Press’s David Bauder reported on Anne’s (actual) climbing progress (shortly after setting out) on the weekend, in his piece, "Today" show’s Ann Curry struggling up Kilimanjaro. After seeing today’s live reporting from Anne, I wondered about timing. Was this really the optimum week for a safe, sure, and healthy summiting of the mountain?

Other "ends of the earth" explored by the Today Show Team:

• Matt Lauer:  The Blue Hole off the Coast of Belize

• Meredith Vieira:  Sydney Harbour, Australia

• Al Roker:  Iceland

Please, also, check out DocSusan’s other poetic blog entries about Tanzania (where Mount Kilimanjaro is located):

• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (9): Poems 15 and 16 (of 16) (January 8, 2008)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (8): Poem 14 (of 16) (January 5, 2008)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (7): Poem 13 (of 16) (January 2, 2008)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (6): Poem 11 and 12 (of 16) (December 30, 2007)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (5): Poems 9 and 10 (of 16) (December 26, 2007)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (4): Poems 6, 7, 8 (of 16) (December 23, 2007)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (3): Poem 5 (of 16) (December 20, 2007)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY Continued (2): Poems 3 and 4 (of 16) (December 17, 2007)
• TANZANIA Safari POETRY: Poems 1 and 2 (of 16) (December 14, 2007)

Poetry about other African safari experiences is included in the following blog entries:

• AFRICA Odyssey: Poetry on Safari—3 (May 10, 2007)
• AFRICA Odyssey: Poetry on Safari—2 (April 22, 2007)
• AFRICA Odyssey: Poetry on Safari—1 (February 6, 2007)

The Today Show looked at a new buzz subject this morning, "secondhand stress"—the not being able to sleep at night because of worrying about other peoples’ problems.  This terminology is catchy, like "secondhand smoke."  But, "secondhand smoke," which is exactly that, is easier to define accurately. "Secondhand stress," when thought about carefully, could have extended and/or alternative meanings.  How others’ problems make us worry (about them) might not be as serious as how others (problematic) behavior (towards us) can give us our own fresh problems—first-, as well as secondhand, stress.  

Our interactions with other people, and the relationships they help make or break are key determinants of well-being.  Think about the ends of friendships and the misunderstandings and lack of resolution attached to them.  These can come about because of one person’s own (unrelated) issues, and actually have very little do with the other person at all.  Unfortunately, few ex-friends who instigate break-ups, provide chances for clarification.

"Friend A," who is typically quick to anger, jealousy, or assumption, might eliminate  "Friend B" instantly, no leeway for discussion or explanation.  In the aftermath, "Friend B" wonders what’s hit him.  What did he do wrong?  Perhaps nothing.  But, the ongoing stress from the loss of the friendship that seems impossible to repair still nags and gnaws.  Then there’s "passive aggression" in ongoing "friendships."  "Friend A" bottles things up for a long time, not telling "Friend B" what’s wrong. Instead, he acts out in different ways that make "Friend B" feel uncomfortable or unable to get things right.  Intentionally, or not, "Friend A" may be a bit of a "manipulator."  However, most "manipulators" often set out with a plan from the start, and "passive aggression" is often more unconscious than contrived.  Secrecy, is something else, and another friendship-barrier.

There’s a lot to say about how others make us feel, and how we handle our responses to stress generated by interactions with "used-to-be-friends".  This blog entry focuses on categorizing and listing the "frienemy-types" that can boost (secondhand) stress levels, as suggested in the scenarios just described:  

1.  The Quick-Ender:  This "frienemy" has a short fuse, quickly ignited by jealousy, anger, and/or assumption.  Being friends with this person can be an interesting/passionate ride, so long as they are on your side. However, once they develop a "hate," stand clear. If they do agree to talk things through, they won’t have much of a listening ear.  Their quickness to judgment is a bit of a handicap, and they’ll have to be right, and you’ll have to wrong…

2.  The Bottler:  This "frienemy" might not know how to act differently, and prefer to swathe in self-defensive behaviors that don’t bode well for open and adaptable friendships.  Bottling is a lengthy process, and preserved foods have shelf life.  What’s been happening over (an extended) period of time can’t be repaired in an instant.  Habits have formed, which may be hard to break, and expectations (and disappointments) linger.  The person who doesn’t seem like a troublemaker may actually cause more anguish than imaginable…

3.  The Controller:  This "frienemy" might not have been open or true from the start, having a one-sided notion of  "friendship requirements."  Most friendships, like it or not, happen on a "needs" basis.  "A" offers  "B" something, "B" offers "A" something.  There’s overlapping "interests" or "connection possibilities."  Friendships that don’t give "returns" mightn’t be valuable enough for "controllers" to maintain:  "friends" who can’t be made to do something are no longer "friends."  Self-esteem may determine how long manipulation can be endured—no one likes a "bully" but a "bully" often finds ways to stick around (especially when others are weak)…

4.  The Secretive:   This "frienemy" has "boundaries" that are extreme or unnecessary.  Caring and sharing are natural components of healthy friendships.  Not disclosing relevant information and keeping secrets jeopardizes and destroys potential to take things to the next level.  "Holding-patterns" don’t work.  When one person does all the talking and the other all the listening (and questioning), there’s an imbalance.  This doesn’t always happen because the talker is self-absorbed.  The listener simply wishes to keep the focus on the other person as a way of avoiding questions about his "own stuff"…

We don’t usually know, right away, how a friendship will play out—whether or not there’ll be problems with a "Quick-Ender," "Bottler," "Controller," or "Secretive" type.  But, like with other life-circumstances, before a final fallout, there are often warning signs, to which we may, or may not, pay attention.  So, when friendships are dissolved, there may be a lot more pain than surprise.  Also, making (satisfying) peace with the types listed above isn’t, generally, a viable option. 

Earlier Blog Entries about Friendship include:

• "A" and "B" List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)

Earlier Blog Entries about Relationship Stressors Include:

• Mixed Messages and Contradictions (September 29, 2008)
• PLAY NICE—Near and Far! (John Edwards too…) (August 13, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (February 1, 2008)
• RELATIONSHIP “Uppers” and “Downers” (January 29, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• Handle with CARE—IDENTIFY, EXPOSE, and GET HELP for Those Who Can Do Harm (like at Virginia Tech) (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)

Veterans, or Rememberance, Day is a good time to think of others, not just ourselves—see how we can give a helping hand, even (and especially) if there’s no (obvious) direct return.

SHARING

Sharing’s not a gift or bonus
Simply a necessity
What makes the world go round
Helps put us on solid ground

If we share, we care
If we care, we’re nice

Too much ice, and winter’s not even here
What’s the fear?

Be generous however you can
Not always with money or material things

No strings
Gratitude and platitude much more brings

Knowing that you’ve not held back
Keeps everyone on the right track

That you could have done more
Doesn’t even the score, keeps everyone poor

Share because you care
Care because you share
The order doesn’t matter
I’s the doing that counts
Regardless of amounts

A little extra kindness can’t be bought
Another life-lesson taught.
 

As discussed earlier in this blog, everyone seems to have time for a new puppy.  It’s also important to make a fuss of older dogs—recognize when they might be ailing and see to their every need. Checking they’re as comfortable as possible takes effort and requires greater responsiblity than some owners are prepared (or able to) assume.

Earlier blog entries (listed at the bottom of this entry), show that Sage’s health has been troubling for a while. And, this week, it was time for his big op.  We needed to make a spontaneous decision that will, hopefully, add many years to his precious little life.  He had 19 teeth removed!  

Beware! If your small dog is sneezing a lot and has stinky breath, no matter how well you supervise their  oral health, the problem may be beyond your control.  Size, genetic predisposition, and (previous) misdiagnosis, as well as insufficient attention to detail, can factor in and effect (appropriate) treatment options (and outcomes).  

When I picked Sage up from VEC, last Thursday night, he was still blood-stained and had a bleeding nose and low blood sugar.  He was a heap in my arms:  glazed eyes, tearful, whimpering, and a shadow of his regular self.  Dr. Sharon French’s surgery had been careful and kind (like her), but significant inconsistency among other employees at the clinic is obvious (perhaps why feedback forms are now offered at the counter).  The animal care attendant’s hand-over of a post-op animal felt abrupt and disconcerting—quite unlike the receptionist’s check-in pre-op. 

The photos included below tell the tale of 48 hours in the life a little dog, pre- and post-op.  

• The last bone (the night before surgery).

• Big Yawn (full set of teeth).

• Carried home, and nestled in a bag, tinged with pink (blood stained) and sleepy (the evening following the surgery).

•  A little walk and sniff on a nice autumn day (the day after the surgery), with a new outfit to stay warm (pink bandage from intravenous).

• First proper meal. Homemade dog food!  (Dog food recipes will follow in another blog entry.)

• Big sister Lev, finished her meal, oversees Sage.

• Lev ready to finish off Sage’s meal should he not pay attention.

• Homemade dog food, the first vat.

• Containers of homemade dog food for freezer.

Little animals, like young children, can get sick very quickly, unable to tell us till their conditions are critical  But, the good news is that they can also get better quickly, when cared for properly and expediently.  

For other blog entries relating to Pet Health and Well-being (and Sage’s history), please check out: 

• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Holistic Dental Hygiene: For Dogs and Their Humans (March 4, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)

Hospital waiting rooms and veterinary waiting rooms provoke interesting comparisons.  Perhaps it’s just me who notices this.  Or, maybe I’m wrong.  If you have a beloved pet—and have been to both—you‘ll understand.

Veterinary Waiting Rooms

Emotions are real and raw

It’s different…

Not one person waiting
Two or three

Eyes well with tears
Big fears

Old, young
Highly strung or placid

Details matter
Passion and care

It’s all in a glance
True love and circumstance

Humans make do
Animalkind can’t

Regardless of how we feel
Whatever we have going on personally
There’s a pause

Our pets matter more.

The poem (above) was written for Sage, today. He has been a very brave little man. (More about him in later entries.) Speedy recovery Editor in Chief of the DocSusan Website!

For a poem about (human) Hospital Waiting Rooms, please check out a blog entry from yesterday,  Hat-Tricks and Hospital Waiting Rooms, (November 5, 2008)

Photos in this blog entry are courtesy of Lev and Sage’s buddy, Lucy Izon, from CanadaCool.com

I’ve been a little "fuzzy" lately, making writing (and concentrating) more difficult than usual.  Despite this, there’s always ways to be creative if you can give in to becoming a "Mad-Hatter." When not up for much else, crochet did the "trick" for me.  Sitting in hospital waiting rooms, over recent weeks, I’ve managed to produce three hats (as displayed above).

The first two are made from Cashsoft and the the third from Noro yarn.  Hat one, I’ve called the "Playful;" hat two, the "Sophisticate;" and hat three, the "Fun" (from left to right, above).  The first was just to use up yarn and keep my mind occupied.  The second involved more planning and design.  The third provoked excitement and a dash of spunk.

The nice thing about making hats is that patterns aren’t necessary.  They’re easy to try on as you go, and undoing them, to readjust for sizing or look, doesn’t involve too much lost labor.  Hat one involved "uncertainty;" hat two, "awareness;" and hat three, "boldness."  A crochet hook and yarn can sometimes help boost confidence (and self-esteem), even when real life has its challenges.

Previous blog entries about crochet include:

• Wearable Art: Crochet and Canvases Match at Toronto Art Expo
(March 23, 2008)

• Crochet for Stress Reduction, Fashion, and Fun
(December 25, 2006)

Reflections on "hospital waiting rooms" are shared in this poem:

Hospital Waiting Rooms

Hospital waiting rooms
Interesting places
Expressions on faces

Old, young, rich, poor
Illness can descend at anyone’s door

Homeless or not
Bedecked in jewels or poorly clad

Side by side they sit
And wait, and wait, and wait

Time to hesitate
And reflect

Thankful for what’s not
Regretful about what is

A loss of control
Soul next to soul

Good health not a given
Recovery a game of chance

Some rally
Others dally

Support helps
Not being there alone

Some speak
Others too weak

There are those who make it
And those who fake it

A humbling experience
And wake-up

Something that effects all
Short or tall

Take a number
And wait till you’re called.
 

Gamblin are my favorite oil paints.  In August, I discovered that they have an annual competition.  This year’s was number 15.  Robert Gamblin invites painters to experiment with "value," and see how light and dark can have as much impact as color.  For me, as a "colorist," this would have been an interesting challenge. Unfortunately, I found out about the competition a little too late.  The folks at Above Ground gave me a tube, after I commented on all the other shades of Gamblin’s grey I was buying that day (but the competition deadline date was too tight).  

Torrit Grey is made up from pigments collected from Gamblin’s air filtration system that are mixed and recycled to form a unique color.  There is no charge for this product.  

We all have our creativity slumps, and sometimes don’t know how to move beyond them.  A couple of months on from receiving the Torrit Grey tube I still hadn’t used it.  Now, the timing was right and better.  Perhaps this little tube could help restore creativity—kindle an element of surprise and wonder and motivate me to get back into a "flow."

You may view the DocSusan website and blog and think that my creativity comes easily.  Nothing comes easily, even if it may look that way.  Common "creativity blockers" and "enhancers" are listed below.  Perhaps you can identify?  Perhaps you have you own special solutions for navigating between them?
 
Creativity Blockers

• Emotional upsets
• Rejection/lack of appreciation
• Physical illness
• Burn-out
• Isolation
• Lack of motivation/goals

Creativity Enhancers

• Emotional stability and calm
• Appreciation
• Good health
• Rest
• Connection and belonging
• Surprises

p.s. I used the Torrit Grey in a a small work entitled, Love = Poodle for Me.  Love = ? for You? This was for the Love Show, an 8 x 8 fundraiser organized by the Londsdale Gallery, to be held at Toronto’s Gallery 1313 (October 30 - November 9, 08 Auction November 9), to benefit "Nomads" (street youth).

About this piece: Love hides in many places. Some never find it.  Others see it peeping through clouds—dream, wish, hope.  Love, for me, masquerades (and dances)  in "Poodle-form." Wherever I go, there they are!  I don’t hide behind my poodles, but we take care of each other —every step of the way. (This piece can hang in four different directions. Please hang it according to what you see in it—and enjoy!)

This is a blog piece I hesitated to post.  Could it upset, disappoint, or depress readers?  How might you perceive me as writer?  Regardless, it felt right to go ahead.  I thought and thought again…  Though the artwork and intentions of this site are positive, for the most part, being real and confronting the uncomfortable is an essential part of who I am.  Sometimes, it’s not possible to gloss over strong sentiments (even if they appear negative or disappointing). Everything we show can help us (and others) grow! Anthony Hopkins as C. S. Lewis, in the movie Shadowlands, states, "We read to know we are not alone." (1993).  I write to know this too!  Fifteen years later this simple movie-line still has powerful meaning.  Perhaps, that’s what compels me to share the following poem with you.

FAITH

Inspiration sought
What matters can’t be bought

I opted not to go to synagogue for Rosh Hashana. It didn’t feel right.  Instead, quiet contemplation stimulated this poem.

Though we’d like to think and believe the best, not all rabbis are "good."  Nor are all regular  "good people."  Hypocrisy and double standards are an unfortunate norm in every organized religion at every level—as well as among friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and family.  (And, let’s not forget in business and politics!)  Though many folk are afraid to see or state it, sometimes it’s hard not to wonder:  "What’s the point? Who can you really trust that’s not just out for themselves, regardless of their position and responsibilities?  Who are the ’show-men’ and ’show-women’ (the ‘insinceres’) in our lives?"

Rosh Hashanah (the head of the year) can be many things to many people.  Generally, it’s marked by ritual and family gatherings.  However, like Christmas, Valentine’s Day, weddings, birthdays, and other (intentended to be) ceremonious times, the "spiritual" isn’t always what’s obvious, or triggers (questioning and distressing) thoughts and responses.  There are always those who feel uncomfortable—left out, or struggling with memories and associations that aren’t happy.  They can sense no genuine point of connection or healthy attachment, despite repeated effort.  Being able to be mindful of this, as well as caring towards individuals in our circles who could be struggling (and left "faithless") is truly a mitzvah (good deed)—some might even say "miraculous."

p.s. The movie, Shadowlands, touched a lot of people in a variety of other ways. Further commentaries on this are shared elsewhere.

As Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year) approaches (starting tonight), all kinds of "mental clean-up" decisions get made.  There’s no better time, than now, to clear upsets and "make nice."

When others don’t know what they want, it’s better to give them space and not get caught up in their vicissitudes of the moment.  We all need to see the light sooner or later.  But, everyone’s light won’t go on at the same time.  Some lights flicker, others act as motion-detectors.  Many need new bulbs.

Often, we can only count on our own power source.  When others send mixed messages, we need to think about moving on, however hard that is to do, and as this poem hints:

Contradiction

Contradiction
An affliction

Fair exchange
Or so you’d think…

Always carry your own flashlight as back-up, and you won’t be caught in the dark.  Others’ power surges shouldn’t flatten your batteries…

Cookies and scones come in various sizes.  Do you realize you’ll usually eat the same amount regardless of size?  This is why I’ve come up with three sizes:  small, medium, and large (as shown in the photo above).  The small are just for a quick nibble.  It’s easy to eat 1 - 4  of them at any time between meals.  The medium are a little more substantial.  These are for formal snack-times. 1 -2  are recommend at a sitting. The large are meal, or meal-replacement size, where 1 to 1.5 should suffice.  It’s hard to find healthy store-baked treats. Instead of a trip down there, and in the same amount of time, it’s possible and easier to make your own!

Please note, I choose to use Bob’s Red Mill products for most of my baking needs.  Their range and quality are superb.  (You can find these at Wholefoods and many other health-conscious grocery stores.)

Bits of Everything
(The not quite a cookie cookie)

• 4 cups ground almonds
• 2 - 3  cups muesli
• 2 cups oats
• 1 cup oat bran flour
• 8 oz honey
• quarter cup flax seeds
• 1 cup mixed dried fruit (including Goji Berries)
• 8 egg whites
• Spray oil
• Baking powder

Quantities might not be exact.  Experiment, and so long as the mixture holds together and can be molded you should be fine.

Mix everything together then form and bake on three different trays, till light golden brown.  (20 - 25 minutes at 375 degrees in a preheated oven).  Check that there’s no sog in the middle of the cookies, with a tester. Remove from the trays as soon as possible, to cool.

Amounts made:  16 large (meal replacement size);  24 medium (snack size); 35 small (bite size)

Garden Scones
(Savory)

• sage
• chives
• 3 cups oat flour
• 1 cup quinoa flour
• 1 cup flax seed flour
• 1.5 cups probiotic yogurt
• 4 eggs
• 1 stick of butter
• 2 cups grated goat cheese
• 2 tablespoons mustard
• salt and pepper

Quantities might not be exact.  Experiment, and so long as the mixture holds together and is dough-like, you should be fine. 

Mix everything together and dust the baking tray with quinoa flour. Once they’ve been cut, place the scones closely together for baking.  Preheat the oven to 450 degrees then bake for 15 minutes, or till golden brown and firm (no sog in the middle).

These scones can be served with butter or goat cheese spread, even humus or advocado—whatever takes your fancy.

These are called "Garden Scones" because I was fortunate to use my own homegrown herbs.

 

Growing up, I spent a lot of time in the kitchen watching my mother.  She’s still meticulous following recipes, even after cooking for almost 70 years.  No exact instructions for me! Observations and taste buds take over. With a little understanding of formulas and ingredients, I’ve discovered it’s hard to go wrong.  Also, cooking in bulk is cost-, time-, and mess-efficient.  Make large quantities and freeze—even, and especially, as a "one."  Nice to have someone else to cook for/appreciate what you’ve made. However, dipping into the freezer for meals and treats prepared in advance can feel like someone else might have cooked for you!  Self-nurturing, by choice or out of necessity, can be as creative as it is satisfying…and healthy.

Soups need sautéed onions and lots of vegetables, and should be puréed/liquidized.  Adding fruit juice and garden herbs makes them all the more nutritious and tasty.  Fall is a great time to store up for winter, especially when there’s such interesting produce being harvested locally.

8 Squash Medley

• 8 giant squash (each one being of a different variety)—baked till cooked through
• 6 giant white onions—sautéed till golden brown
• EVOA (Extra virgin olive oil) to sautée the onions
• 2 cups apple sauce
• 3 cups orange cranberry juice
• salt and pepper to season
• chives (from garden if possible)—cut up and added after making purée

Blend all ingredients together for a thick sweet main-course soup.

Curried Parsnip with Caraway

• 4 bags parsnips (approximately 1 - 2lbs each)—baked till cooked through
• 6 giant white onions—sautéed till golden brown
• EVOA (Extra virgin olive oil) to sautée the onions
• 1.5 cups orange cranberry juice
• 3 cups orange cranberry juice
• salt and pepper to season
• curry powder to season
• caraway seeds to season

Blend all ingredients together for a thick spicy main-course soup.

Fed up with Air Transat’s/Thomas Cooke’s Toronto-Manchester (UK) service (described in a previous blog entry, Charter Flights, May 26, 08), I’ve been fortunate to be able to try a different Manchester-bound routing.  Happening to be in Chicago last month, I flew BMI from there to Manchester, direct (and back).  The results were positive:  a more comfortable plane, friendlier crew, better baggage allowance and food, a nice variety of free magazines, personal entertainment systems in each seat, and less fuss at booking and check-in, also 20-minute early arrivals (both ways) with speedy baggage delivery.

The only disappointment was Chicago O’Hare’s International Terminal, where there are limited nutrition options once you go through security. (Bring your own food!)  Toronto’s renovated Pearson can definitely set an example here (if you are up for paying the price).  BMI doesn’t have a Toronto service, unfortunately. 

Interesting to note:  BMI crew stay at the Holiday Inn, Chicago Mart Plaza—another favorite of mine!

Whatever you do that involves others requires a shift from "me" to "we" thinking.  Simple in theory, harder in practice.

Keeping everyone happy—and challenges to that—are usually based on three fundamentals, in most instances. Here is a brief  "how to" overview of fundamentals that seem to matter:

Consider:
1. How and why you’ve come together. Are goals similar?
2. What the rules might be—what’s  right and wrong, ethically, morally, circumstantially.
3. Where clarifications are necessary (if rules are bent), so misunderstandings don’t happen, and one party isn’t misled.

Be:
1. Fair and honest
2. Open and respectful
3. Flexible and considerate

…as best you can.  Most people know when they are taking advantage of someone else, and the person being taken advantage of knows too!  Don’t keep (the idea of) a relationship going at any cost in the hope that it’ll get better—because you’re the one who’ll be paying afterwards.

Upsets come from:
1. Being out of synch/selfishness—one person putting their own needs first (saying and doing differently or vice versa).
2. Expectations of both parties not being expressed or agreed upon (in advance or as they shift).  Avoidance isn’t a solution, just a way to upset someone else.  
3. Distractions being allowed to take over (one person changing their priorities, but not telling the other, and not putting in equal effort).

Long distance relationships have higher stakes and extra obstacles:
1. Trust, openness and communication matter even more.
2. Out of site should not be out of mind. (Excuses are easy!)
3. Practical, financial, and emotional realities are all stretched, tested, and differ.

Bottom lines:
1. It’s not all about you!  Never was!
2. Everyone has limited time and energy. Please don’t waste another’s!
3. Consequences happen.  We might not realize at the time how we affect someone else, but a lot of damage can come about from what might be considered "trivial."  As much as you might not be hurting, someone else could be in agony…

Cliché but apt: "Put the shoe on the other foot!"  We all have hopes and dreams, and it takes courage to make oneself vulnerable—even though life is short, and there are only so many opportunities for happiness.  If you know that you are jeopardizing someone else’s well-being by not being upfront and playing things out because it suits you, think again…

Alas!  If things are "too good to be true," they too often can be…  No matter how one conducts oneself in other circumstnaces (or is seen to be to the oustide world), it’s daily enounters, and opporunities for genuine intimacy that reveal who they really are and can be (or not).
 
The most powerful, wealthy, or good-looking among us have the greatest responsibilities and weaknesses, since they may have more possibilites to get away with things. Because of who they are or what they have (regardless of where it comes from) and their bigger-picture "do good" deeds, they can raise the loudest alarm bells!  Entitlement may be an outcome, but not a justification…  

Though news of the the "John Edwards Sex Scandal" is only just breaking, and details and coverage aren’t all clear, this is just another example of what we see not always being what we get.  Or, what we imagine could be possible (and wonder why not) actually being so.  Role models are hard to find, and "everyday people" imitate and get away with much more (than before) just because they can.  Sad, but true, this is something that’s become almost unremarkable socially.

Those who may be seen to have "less going for them" are invariably more reliable—and better at "playing nice!" On-line daters, take heed when making selections!  What impresses and allures on screen, might not in real life!

With my constantly changing routines and busy travel schedule, I usually find it hard to commit to extra-curricula classes.  Also, I am not a "gym person".  But, this past week, a neighborhood offering met my needs and interests admirably.  Roots’ flagship store in Rosedale has free one-class passes for their yoga studio.  Stimulated by the first class, I decided to take advantage of a "summer special"—unlimited classes for a week for $20. Though classes are reduced in number for the season, there were enough to meet my needs, and four out of five were enjoyable—especially the pilates. The studio is low-key, no mirrors or fancy accessories, and appears to have a regular clientele (all female).  Positioned at the back of the building (away from Yonge Street) the view of tree-tops through the window is well-planned and soothing.  And, eventually, you stop noticing the rattles of the subway line down below.  Definitely a positive experience!

Little wonder there needs to be public service announcements advising against drinking and driving (while operating water vehicles).  The LCBO (Liquor Control Board of Ontario) occupies prime real estate in popular lakeside locations.  In Killarney and Port Carling, their properties are waterfront.  Look at Port Carling’s pick-up dock (in the photo posted above).  On a recent road trip through Northern Ontario, no matter the basics communities seemed to lack, government liquor stores appeared prominent and dominant.  Maclean’s Canada Day double issue, with a feature offering the "startling facts" about Canadians vs Americans" gave interesting statistcs. Apparently, 27% of Canadians conusme alcholhoic drinks "at least ‘a few times a week’" compared to 19% of Americans.  Also, 1.3% of Canadians’ household expenditure goes on alcohol compared to 1% of Americans’.

Older dogs are like well-worn gloves. They fit perfectly, but shouldn’t be taken forgranted.   We don’t know when they’ll fall apart, or how. But, if we are careful with them, they can enjoy long happy and healthy lives.  

As shown throughout the DocSusan blog and website, Lev and Sage are my best friends, room-mates, editors, studio assistants, exercise coaches, and a whole lot more.  Most days, all is well with them. They know my quirks and I know theirs. But, as they’ve gotten older, I’ve become a little more cautious and concerned at the least sign of illness. Because of their size and age, I realize that things can happen very quickly, and signs and symptoms must be taken seriously and acted on without delay. On April 2nd 08, I posted a blog entry about this, Veterinary Emergencies. Three months later, I’m already reporting fresh developments…

From the end of May through June, Sage had had a strange sneeze. First it was every few days. Then it was a couple of times a day, and only coming from his left nostril. His eating and walking seemed normal, and he was sleeping well at night (not snoring, as others with congestion might). However, I was still anxious. Round one of trips to the vet led us to Children’s Benadryl.  Doctor Rachel Wolfson, a dedicated young vet at Rosedale Animal Hospital was very attentive.  As well as presribing this allergy medication, she also took bloodwork. We stayed in touch as Sage’s condition, despite clear bloodwork (and the Benadryl) didn’t seem to change. Doctor Cindy Kneebone at East York Animal Hospital added homeopathy to the mix, as well as giving Sage a head Xray, where nothing unusual was found. For three weeks after this, we carefully monitored developments. Then, finally, no improvement, and with more obvious discomfort shown by Sage—not being able to walk more than a few steps without sneezing—we sought specialist help.

Doctor Doug Mason at Toronto’s Veterinary Emergency Clinic gave us a same day appointment, and performed investigative surgery. After a Catscan and numerous other tests, an abscess (and related build-up) were removed from behind one of Sage’s teeth (which had to come out). A complete course of antibiotics and pain killers followed. Now, we are looking more closely at Sage’s entire mouth and gums, to determine if other teeth need to be extracted or not. Doctor Sharon French, a veterinary dental specialist who consults with Toronto Zoo (and is also at Toronto’s Veterinary Emergency Clinic) is now involved with Sage’s case, and has prescribed Maxiguard Oral Cleansing Gel.  So far, so good. We like her, and her approach!

Apparently, gum disease is not an uncommon problem with older small dogs, like Sage.  Unfortunately, undetected, it can be life-threatening.  I realize, because of the expediency and caring of a diverse group of of vets, and my constant vigilance and concern, Sage’s life has been saved.  I caution other pet owners not to overlook any of their pets’ symptoms, however fussy they may believe other people think they are. Our pets mean so much to us!

Unfortunately, veterinary interventions come at a price. Future blog articles will look at typical pet healthcare costs.  It is sad to know how many dogs are put to sleep, owners (understandably) unable to keep up with the bills for  treatment, or prepared to administer (complicated) medications.

p.s.  End of August update: Our claim through PetCare (all parts of it, including those not related to dental/mouth conditions) was denied.  There will be a lot more in future blog entries about this, as well as a closer look at veterinary practice, procedures, and accountablity, as well as insurance company savvy.

I have been touched, today, by all the remarkable tributes to Tim Russert, NBC Bureau Chief and Moderator of Meet the Press.  Most Sunday mornings, his voice has been "background entertainment" while I’ve done household chores.  He was a fixture whom it was hard to imagine wouldn’t grace television news and debate well into old age. 

Tim’s sudden heart attack yesterday was yet another reminder to all of us that life is precious and we can’t have complete control, especially over its endings.  When someone as unique and admired as Tim is gone from our world in moments, without warning or preparation, we are stunned and ache.  From President Bush to regular viewers, everyone seems to have a reflection to offer, a deep fondness for this role model and outstandingly successful professional who remained a very down-to-earth family man and personal friend to so many.  My sincere condolences to all those dear to him.  He will be sorely missed.

At times like this, it’s hard not to think of more private individuals too, and their endings—those who haven’t enjoyed public success or recognition in their lives, those without family and friends who’ve supported and encouraged them. When their time comes, will it be recognized how their lives were meaningful or how much they could be missed?   How might things have played out differently for them, given a chance, voice, or simple luck?

It’s clear that we all leave our mark on the world in different ways, others’ impressions shaped by how we’re remembered or forgotten.  The following poem is dedicated to those who pass in greater silence and anonymity.  Maybe there was more to say about them, but there was no one to say it? Maybe their lives could have been happier and more fulfilled, but there was no one to spur them on? What might they have said if they could have written their own eulogies?  Perhaps this is one possibility?

AFTERWARDS

It was all up to me.

Sometimes, a charter is the only way to go, like it or not. Flying during the Christmas rush (unless we have a choice not to) might not be a good idea, as this poem tells…  

The Charter Flight

Screaming, screaming kids
Anxious chatter
Little air
Heavy care

Or, under stress
Easier to expect less.

In case you’re wondering which airline this poem was written on, it was Air Transat.

At the end of December (07), I was on a another transatlantic flight.  I’d just visited a family member who was sick and ended up sitting next to someone who was returning from her mother’s funeral. Personal experience with funeral trips, as well as long-distance illness concerns, compelled me to pull out my notebook and record these poetic reflections.

Planes

Planes are for vacations
celebrations

Planes are for all kinds of reasons
Of life, reveal the many seasons.

Even after studying beginner Italian for three semesters at the Toronto’s Italian Cultural Institute, and buying a bunch of self-help books and tapes, I wasn’t confident enough to speak the language once in Florence (for the Biennale). However, this didn’t detract from my enjoyment of being there, and sensing what was said and written—taking in the ambiance, mood, and energy. In Italy, la dolce vita (the good life) is energizing, especially when a stark Canadian winter sets in.  At a quick glance, here is some of what seems to matter:  art(s), food, hairdressers, individuality, laughter, playfulness, style, uniqueness

Food tastes different—fruit and vegetables smell like they’re supposed to (haven’t been forced or altered), and time is taken over meals. Friends gather in large groups and share what’s on the table—at home and in restaurants.  There’s a lot there, but servings are adequate, not excessive.  People learn how to dine, course by course, and interact while eating, from an early age.  They also are seen out walking on a daily basis.

There may be chaos surrounding organized events and activities, but everything gets done, just in time, and happens how it’s supposed to.  Along the way, it might be realized that biggest isn’t necessarily be best.  More intimate gatherings and personal/neighborly relationships prevail.  Instead of being home alone, many are out doing their daily grocery shop, or frequenting destinations in easy reach, by foot.  The streets bustle with locals engaged in habitual activities that have existed for generations:  going to mass, errecting and taking down market stands, or standing up for an aperitif and antipasto at a corner bar. Even well-known bursts of rain don’t stop everyday life, or visitors.

A few local tried and proven recommendations in Firenze include:  Carlo Bay: haircare; Cellai: hotel accomodation; Grom: gelato;  Madova: gloves; Muniaciello: pizza, cocktails, music, Rivoire: lunch, pastries, home-made chocolate; Zaza: fun, central trattoria; Zechhi: art supplies.

New puppies draw a lot of attention.  Dogs’ aging processes and illnesses don’t get enough. In the last month, I’ve experienced two veterinary emergencies with poopals, Lev (now 11) and Sage (now eight).  These have reminded me how quickly caninekind live their lives.  Anything that happens to them seems to come about almost instantaneously (far more speedily than with humans).  Sage got a blocked anal gland, with absess.  Lev had a third eyelid appear that I didn’t know exists.  Both dogs’ conditions were alarming.  Sage did a lot of licking and could barely walk.  Lev pointed her head in my direction, eye completely white (no eye ball showing). Thankfully, I noticed each dog’s symptoms promptly, and got emergency veterinary appointments and treatments.  I treasure every moment with such wonderful companions, and am thankful to have found appropriate, expedient, and convenient care for them.  Sometimes, there’s a tendency to wait and see what happens if we’re feeling poorly.  Animals don’t seem to have as much time as we do. Not only can they not explain to us how they’re feeling, they also tend to display greater bravery (suffer in silence).  If we have pets in our lives, it’s our responsibility to be alert to changes in their conditions, taking action right away if we are aware that something could be wrong.

Sage thanks East York Animal Clinic staff, and Dr. Kneebone.

Lev thanks Rosedale Animal Hospital staff, and Dr. Davidson.

This morning, I can hear the birds singing, a treat I’ve not been aware of in a long time.  It’s a sunny but crisp Sunday, and I think I can feel spring in the air.  I don’t know if this is true, but can only hope that we could actually be in for some milder weather and related mood changes.  To quote a familiar Beatles’ song, "It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter."  In a climate like Toronto’s, when snow is heavy, situations arise that would be unusual elsewhere, like the one described here…

Adequate and accessible parking for the genuinely disabled is essential, but not when be hazardous.  For too long, vehicles with disabled stickers (not necessarily disabled drivers) have been allowed to park on busy mid-town cross streets, like Balmoral.  These roadways that get even narrower when snowbanks pile up, like this past February. When a Wheel-Trans vehicle tried to squeeze between a parked Mini (with disabled sticker) and an iced over snowbank there was a wedging, and neither vehicle could be moved without tow truck assistance and police intervention.  Consequence, the street was inaccessible to regular traffic for three hours.  What are the chances  that a Wheel-Trans vehicle should squish a car displaying a disabled sticker.  Perhaps there’s a message in the irony?

Police vehicle cutting off the "accident area, parked vertically—shows how narrow the street is

Typical family size SUV arriving at "accident area"—shows the street can only really accommodate one lane of traffic

Typical street traffic congestion:  snow or no snow

In North America, we’ve just started to hear about "pink cabs." The Pink Ladies cab company was started in Warrington (Northern England), in 2005, and has been so successful it’s now looking for franchisees. Pink cabs are driven by women for women, saftey and comfort being paramount.  In the days when all British cabs were black, "Pink Ladies" might have stood out.  Now they are part of an already colorful streetscape.

 

I hadn’t been in London for quite a while till Fall 07. (I still haven’t managed to finish writing about that trip on this blog, with so many other life/travel interruptions.)  When there, I couldn’t help but think how much brighter a place this city has become because of its colorful cabbies. Traditional "stiff upper lip" black vehicles are transformed into mobile advertising machines.  When I noticed the first colourful cab, I thought it was a one-off vehicle.  Then, each way I turned, I saw another and yet another.  Time to pull out the camera and start snapping.  Cab after cab, I collaged their images into a poster (inserted above) on returning home.  Funny what strikes us on our travel adventures.  I’d never have thought that cabs would capture my attention like this.  I suspect their ads are working! You certainly can’t help but notice them.

Other ads, I was aware, were displayed by humans.  I chanced on a bunch of placard supporters close to Covent Garden station.  I didn’t envy their job, sitting there holding arrow signs to local businesses. Fortunately, it was a balmy September morning.  I don’t know how widespread or seasonal this form of (in)human(e) advertising might be…

The "January blues" are legendary. Then comes February, and moods sink lower. Is there anything that can be done to help? Some are too familiar with the pain (not just in January or February, but year round) and don’t need to have it explained (like in the poem below). Others are able to escape it— supports, special advantages, or attitude making things easier.  Living in warmer friendlier climates (or taking a sun break) can also be helpful.  But this isn’t always possible.  In cities such as Toronto, known more for aloofness and coldness than ambiance and joie de vivre, extra efforts need to be made.  It’s important to be aware of those around us, and check-in on them—include, invite, encourage, or reciprocate.  At least, try and offer a smile or "hello," even to someone you don’t know.

FEBRUARY FUNK

Looking good on the outside
Doesn’t dull the pain within

Do you know that pain?

Under the nose
In the throat
Around the eyes

An upset that you feel
Even if others don’t see

Do you know that pain?

Maybe you don’t
Likely you won’t

Do you know the sadness of
Loneliness
Hopelessness
Helplessness
Despair?

Seeing that others, clearly, don’t care

A "Please"
"Thank you"
"Sorry"
"Well done"
Might pick up someone else’s day

Few brave enough to show the way

Don’t ask "Why?"
Ask, "Why not?"

CONFIDENCE

Confidence is driven by others
Not just ourselves

We know, ourselves, what we do, feel, think
What’s right, wrong, uncomfortable, or easy

Others affirm, deny, encourage, avoid
Enable and disable

Contribute to who we are and can be

It’s who surrounds us
And who doesn’t

It’s what they say
And what they don’t

How they respond
Or not

No matter our strengths and weaknesses
Failures and successes
Feedback and allegiance matter
 
Others indicate the worthwhile, and the not so
Include and exclude
 
What we’re left with is up to us.

I’m thrilled to be contacted by those who enjoy my poetry. Earlier this month, Susan Kusel, of the Wizards Wireless Blog, wrote to ask permission to include excerpts from my Kilimanjaro series on her "Poetry Friday." Her brother, Russ, was due to climb Kilimanjaro, and she wanted to provide him with inspiration. How wonderful! Last week, after Russ returned from his successful ascent, Susan posted her own poem to honor his journey. Comments back to both blog posts, by readers, and Russ, himself, were, affirming, touching, and thought-provoking. Siblinghood at its best!

Even relationships assumed to be "on" might be "off."  Apparently 20 million American couples are in low- or no-sex relationships.  January 28th’s View featured Bob Berkowitz discussing his (and his wife’s [Susan Yager-Berkowiz]) recent headline-attracting book, He’s Just Not Up for It Anymore. Why Men Stop Having Sex, and What You Can Do About It.

This topical text draws attention to a number of interesting questions about where men’s disinterest comes from, including:
1.  Is it physical, emotional, psychological, or simple partner-boredom?
2.  Is it an anger-response about other aspects of a (failing) relationship, or symptomatic of depression?
3.  Is it due to too-easily accessible porn (some men becoming unable to be turned on without it)?
4.  Is it an outcome of "natural causes"?

How sexless men’s partners might feel is also considered.  Are they dejected, relieved, guilty or suspicious (of infidelity, asexuality or homosexuality)?

Whether there’s sex in a relationship or not, many still prefer being seen to be part of a "two" than "unchosen"/solo.  Long-term solos (by chance or choice) have their own "going-sexless" challenges—and (usually) fewer viable alternatives, as well as less public empathy.

Even if a partnership is sexless, it might still be supportive and status-affirming. This was demonstrated to me recently, at lunch with a colleague.  She announced, "Going to be 50 this summer, and I’ve more self-confidence and daring than ever—must come from being married with kids…"  "How do you think those without marriage and kids might feel, the same "big birthday" coming up," I asked. "What keeps them going?"  Quiet and visibly uncomfortable, she couldn’t imagine or relate, and changed the subject.

Heath Ledger’s unfortunate death has generated much discussion about its nature—whether it was accidental or not. From the LA Times to Time (and beyond), it’s become a major news story!  Close family and friends of the deceased insisted right away on "accidental causes." Noone likes to think about, admit to, or acknowledge the "S"(uicide) possiblity, at anytime.

Media have provided a lot of extra/invasive hype, with many presumptive questions.  Naturally, suggestions of foul play abound, with analyses of the actor’s distresses.  Whatever the truth might actually be, we’ll never really know. Sadly, the one person who could have told us isn’t around anymore.  Apparently, he was found alone, face-down and naked on his bed, by service providers (his housekeeper and his masseuse).  Close family were thousands of miles away, and the face that Ledger gave to the world in his many outstanding film performances was, obviously, not the face he wore privately (of late).

Ledger was famous. That’s why we get to hear, see, and read about him, and his final days and hours.  But, there are many other individuals, just like this movie star, dying every day—and in our own midst. Their burnout, despair, frustration, and loneliness cannot be remedied effectively.  Accidents and non-accidents happen, closer to home and all the time…

No matter the nice things said and done after a "loved one" is gone, nothing can make up for what was not said and done when he or she was alive (manifesting that all wasn’t right). The "take-home message" is to be more mindful of those around us continually—and sensitive to our interactions with them.  We truly never know how we might affect someone else, and what the consequences might be.  What’s not a big deal for you, might be for someone else. Everything adds up.  And, sometimes, just one more disappointing encoounter may be that one more too many…

This following simple poem, "Depression Alert," is an important one to remember. I included it (below) in tribute to Ledger. His untimely death provides an opportunity to share sentiments that might not have gained exposure otherwise.  Think of those with whom your life intersects. Perhaps they need a little more attention, consideration, and follow-up than you’ve been able to give them till now.  We may all be "busy," but…

DEPRESSION ALERT!

The places you don’t go
Clothes you don’t wear
People you don’t see

Another funeral.

(Photo:  those who made it to the top of Kilimanjaro, with self and guide) 

Even though my Kilimanjaro climb is less recent, certain lessons from it are memorable.  These include:

1.   Better sustain the cold
2.   Bathe less extravagantly
3.   Economize on clothes and possessions
4.   Stop clock-watching
5.   Take things more slowly
6.   Observe and listen
7.   Not fuss about comfort and convenience
8.   Require less sleep
9.   Sleep in uncomfortable conditions
10. Eat more simply and be less picky
11. Not need news from elsewhere
12. Take time out from electronics (TV, Internet, cell, etc.)
13. Push self further and harder, and not complain or avoid
14. Get less flustered about externals/what can’t be changed
15. Focus, no distraction, whereever and whenever
16. Chat with strangers and hear their stories
17. Open up to seizing the moment
18. Get back to basics (with everything!)
19. Assess what really matters
20. Be more fearless

Just like New Year’s resolutions, lessons learned on the trail can be hard to follow long-term, especially when there’s so many of them (and potential obstacles).  Though everyday hastles aren’t exactly the same as chance-in-a-lifetime climbing challenges, circumstances and reactions mightn’t be too different!

Poems 15 and 16 provide closure to my Tanzanian travels—reveal their legacy and an after-trip evaluation of sorts.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)  Next, I’ll share the lessons of Kilimanjaro, which, I believe, helped prepare me for the Florence Biennale experience!

15.  From JRO to YYZ

It wasn’t paradise
But it was very nice

16.  Trip Evaluation

Recognizing what’s good
The important understood.

 
Poem 14 was written on the journey home.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

14.  2 Degrees C in Toronto—Light Snow Falling

It’s a long way back from Africa
Dreams fade to realities
Magical moments diluted in airports

Planning for what, where, when
Already.

Poem 13 describes final game sightings, heralding the trip’s conclusion.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

13.  Day 9

Penultimate game drive
Not as alive

Gracefully and elegantly close our trip
Of magic a real sip.

Poems 11 and 12 describe personalities we met along the way—highlight less typical cultural exchanges and adaptations.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

11.  Safari—Day 7

Bats by night
Bows by day

Journey back
Dust hard to swallow.

12.  Safari—Day 8

Masai village resort
A transitional place
Others set the pace

For me, not a happy feeling
We lie in our cozy beds at night
Their experience, more of a fight.

 

 
Poem 9 explains how campers’ fatigue had set in.  Poem 10 describes a more active way of taking in the landscape and meeting its people—cycling.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

9.  Safari—Day 6

Chips, spaghetti, canned veg and mince
Usually food that would make me wince

At this point
Anything tastes good
Stomach understood.

10.  Safari—Day 7

African biking
Like its hiking

Another day in Africa
Luxuriating in the moment
Not thinking about what might be elsewhere
Details swirl, but no heavy care.

Poems 6, 7, and 8 describe experiences in the Ngorongoro Crater area, where wildlife was more sparse and a slight safari-fatigue was manifesting.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

6.  Safari—Day 4

7.  Monkey Picnic

8.  Afternoon Drive

Though not close
Of excitement provides a dose.

Poem 5 describes the most potent people experience—with the Masai. (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

5.  Masai

Masai Masai everywhere

Spontaneous visit done
A lot of fun
Everyone won.

Many Kilimanjaro climbs are followed by a safari, and ours was no exception.  Also, poetic reflections kept on coming, and will be included in the blog posts immediately following.  You might also like to look back at my other poetic safari experiences from 2006:  general observations, as well as those specific to experiences in Botswana and Zambia. 

The 16 poems from the Tanzania trip have slightly different emphases and perspectives. Though there are many aha moments, the magic of first-time marveling isn’t quite as pronounced.  Also, having just climbed Kilimanjaro, any experience, no matter how special, is hard to juxtapose.

All 16 poems will be posted chronologically (over 9 blog pieces, which includes this one).  The first four poems were written in the Serengeti, which, for me, was the most potent wildlife experience. 

Poems 1 and 2 are the first two Serengeti poems.

1.  Safari, Day 2

The chorus starts well before dawn
Songs and signals
The volume rises

2.  Safari Recap—Day 1 - 2

So many herds
So many terds.

 

 
The two poems that follow look at transitioning back to reality—our own world of others and the Tanzanian roadscape that we found ourselves traveling through (Kilimanjaro, behind and above the clouds and the meaning it may imbue, personally and locally).

8.  Explaining to Others

Explaining to others
Is hard to do

9.  On the Road

Bougainvillea
Dashes of pink
Makes you think.

 
The following two poems look at impact:  after-climb thoughts and reflections.

6.  Day 8—After Climb

Up there
Down here

7.  Day 8—Camaraderie

With some you can
And others you can’t

Continuing onward, upward, forward
No markings on the trail ahead
Spontaneity instead.

 
The first of the next two poems describes approaching the final ascent.  The second records having made it to the top.

4.  Day 5

Nearly there
In the world without a care
Except getting there

Applying lessons learned along the Machame Way
To a very different N. American every day.

5.  Day 6, Kili Ascent:  Success

Strong in body
Strong in mind

Those who did.

 
The two poems that follow here are mid-climb, on a long Day 4.

2.  Kilimanjaro, Day 4/1

Equal when challenged
Challenged when equal

A group spirit endures
To everyone, a round of applause.

3.  Kilimanjaro, Day 4/2

Candy wrappers show the way
Who would have thought?
Toilet paper marks the spot
Who would have known?
Cell phone signals around most bends
Who would have guessed?

Contrary to the N. American way
Something to remember
A take-home gift with which to play.

Climbing Kilimanjaro was truly a life-changing experience—one I’ve been savoring almost daily since returning.  Some of the details are fading and the final hours of the ascent are a little sketchy.  Only talking with those who were there with me helps, and explaining to others properly is difficult sometimes.  However, from Day 3 of the climb, my wordscapes (poetic ramblings) started up, and I’m very glad to have them to look back at now.  These are where I record details and  feelings in the moment (or shortly afterwards). Even those who weren’t with us on the climb, I’ve found, have the opportunity to get a better sense of what transpired by giving this poetic journal a quick look.   

All poems will be entered chronologically.  The first Kilimanjaro poem is included below, and eight more will be divided between the next four blog posts.

1.  Kilimanjaro, Day 3

No I can’t
Yes I can

Can we, will we?
Yes please!
Thrill me.

I’ve developed an interesting (and practical) habit of being in one place but posting blog entries about another.  When my paintings shipped to Florence at the end of October, in preparation for the December Florence Biennale, I shipped myself to Africa (Tanzania).

It was a long-time special dream to be able to climb Kilimanjaro, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I, or the the mountain, would have to realize it.  What perfect timing to get out of the mind and into the body!  After 10 months of uninterrupted painting and related duties, I was ready for a different type of physical challenge—something I didn’t know would test my mental and emotional strength too.  

If you look back to my blog entries for the end of October, 07, you’ll notice the one from the 24th is entitled Endurance, and the one from the 28th is entitled Stamina.  Ironic!  On reflection, I’m clear that my best training for climbing Kilimanjaro might have been painting for the Florence Biennale! Please check out my Candid Artist Ramblings list, posted on my birthday/rebirth (October 19), the day I set out for Africa.  My sudden and acute awareness of transferable skills and attitudes has been eye-opening and educational since.  

I wasn’t the fittest person in the group, I also hadn’t done enough (almost any) training.  So, how did I make it to the top (be in the 50% who do, and the only woman among peers)?  I think three factors helped:  

1. I had the proper clothing (and wore it)—really took time to organize packing and followed all formal instructions from guidebooks and informal instructions from travellers who’d succeeded previously.

2. I didn’t try to be clever or take chances in any way—used poles, ate and hydrated well, listened to the guides in going "pole, pole" (slowly, slowly), and took the necessary meds.  Thank you Diamox (altitude sickness inhibitor)!  Even though this drug made my hands and feet tingle relentlessly, it was a very good friend and support.  

3.  I didn’t go on the climb with the idea that I had to make it all the way.  I was aware that I might not have the capacity to do so, and could forgive myself weaknesses.  Competition was not what this journey was about for me.  It was more of a spiritual quest about being there and experiencing whatever was meant to be—and accepting it, while still fit and young enough to get myself over there.  

The lead-up days to the final ascent were a honeymoon of sorts.  The final ascent was a whole different story—nothing similar—the most challenging physical endeavor I have ever faced (and no one had informed me about properly).  What kept me going on the final ascent?  Three gifts:

1. The camaraderie of those with whom I was climbing and our attentive guides.  

2. The not knowing what was coming next and not having been prepared for the worst—being in a situation I could do nothing about and just getting on with it.

3.  The not-giving up factor, once I was so close, and because there was no real reason to.  How could I go down (in still bad weather conditions) if I hadn’t made it up?  We’d been climbing for six days and, at the 11th hour, I couldn’t justify turning back. It was the same way down if you made it up or not,  and I couldn’t find a good enough reason to turn around.  Not thinking about what I was actually doing or the discomfort of continuing also helped.  Automatic movements and focusing on other thoughts—and struggles—became a lot more meaningful and empowering. I acknowledged that I never really give up, no matter how awful the task is, making the climb a metaphor for so much more.

For the last hour I wept my way up, partly out of pain, partly out of emotion—maybe more out of emotion. I couldn’t turn off my tears or howls. The tears froze and the howls got absorbed by the wind.  The feelings were intensely private.  But, as discussed later with climbing peers, appropriately universal.  These guys had had their own emotional releases too!  Reaching the top, we all embraced.  It was a magical moment in a glacial wonderland where we were too cold and tired to take photos or stick around.

On October 29, 07, back in Moshi, I was able to check e-mail, and saw that a friend had forwarded a New York Times Sunday Magazine feature article by Tom Bissell about his own Kilimanjaro climb, "Up the Mountain Slowly, Very Slowly." It had been published the day before, on October 28, 07.  What a coincidence!  And, even more interesting, Bissell had been based in Rome, pre-trip—unable to fully-prepare himself, either…

What’s sentimental for one person, might not be for another.  My recent overnight visit to London had me surprising myself by the photos I took—what I might not have given any special attention to, on a daily basis, when living there.  I was a student in London from 1979 - 1981, and my recollections go back to then.

Unfortunately, the shots in this blog entry (taken in less than 24 hours) could only cover a fraction of the city, from Picadilly to Bloomsbury.

Nothing seems to change with Fortnum and Mason, at least externally.  Its neighbor Simpsons was turned into Waterstones a while back (making it the biggest bookstore in Europe), giving Picadilly a slightly different feel.

Something that will never move from directly across the street is the Royal Academy.

My timing was lucky!  I got to catch the exhibit, Impressionists by the Sea. I also got to dash through the National Portrait Gallery.  However, a display in the lobby from the book cover of Zerbanoo Gifford’s new book, Confessions to a Serial Womaniser made me slow down for a moment.  Her wall-like display of womens’ faces made me think of my wall-like display of food options (my upcoming Florence Biennale exhibit, Buon Appetito!)

And talking of food, Food for Thought, an old vegetarian haunt of mine (close to Covent Garden)  looked exactly the same (from the outside).  Too early to go in, they were stocking up…

Neal’s Yard, a well-known health food establishment is also still there.  But, it has evolved—looks (and tastes) a little less "natural" (according to my memories).

Covent Garden seems to be changing all over, but not Floral Street, where The Sanctuary (a pioneering spa) looks like it’s still going strong—with Agnes B, Campers, Radley, and more, all at close proximity.

The Covent Garden Market area, itself, has been spruced up.  Arriving before opening hours, I got to see the merchants setting out their wares.  It’s quite a job unpacking and repacking every day!

Wandering from the main area, I felt the cobblestones beneath my feet.  What history they hold!  Who has walked over them before?  Who is walking over them now?  How long can they stay as they are?

In London, history and modernity dance before our eyes, as do traditions, habits, and brand development.  Other coffee shops, chains and one-of-a-kind (Café Nero, The Brew Café, Cafe Life, Espresso Capucino) give Starbucks a lot of competition.

Long "tea breaks" still seem to be popular with workmen, throughout the day.

And, after work, it’s the pub. Beer drinkers spill out onto the street to enjoy a balmy September evening (after a rotten-weather summer):

Then there’s all the theaters, large and small.  What fun to be able to go and see something light! Boeing Boeing was at the Comedy Theater on Panton Street—a charming setting for an evening’s entertainment.    

By the way, though Bloomsbury and its adjacent neighborhoods may be a little off the well-beaten tourist path (except for the landmark British Museum), it’s worth a meander.  Check out all the eating options on and around Charlotte Street…as well as the picturesque side-lanes. Then there’s Dr. Marie Stopes’ first birth control clinic.

You never realize the contrasts you’ll notice when you keep your eyes open—things that have always been there, but might not have attracted attention or mention, previously (like this "lady of the night").

On my recent trip to Britain, I heard this in vogue expression, "gobsmacked," used over and again.  The "gob," as I remember it is the mouth.  And, a hit to the mouth can be startling.  Listening to a Today Show interview with Matt Lauer, yesterday, I admit I was learning about something I had no idea was happening to such an exent.  Lauer was chatting with Toby Byrum, who’d had a vasectomy at 28, and remained adamant that he’d done the right thing for himself.  He had absolutely no interest in having children of his own (though child-friendly), or an "escape hatch" (with banked sperm). This appears to be a growing trend among young men—at least from what the Today Show team were revealing.  Natalie Morales, afterwards, discussed viewer e-mail responses, showing surprise that many women endorsed Byrum’s decision.

 

For me, British newspapers can’t be beaten.  It’s a greater delight to read them when you don’t get the opportunity every day—and can hold the paper variety in your hands (clip and highlight interesting articles).  On my train journey from London to Liverpool (September 21, 07), I had a chance to catch up on a few favorite publications.  By coincidence, articles in them resonated with what I’d just become aware of during my 24 hour visit to London.  

In The Times, there was an article by Ben Hoyle, the Arts Reporter, "Record visitors to Tate as appetite increases for art."  Hoyle noted:  "Attendance at the four galleries in London, St Ives and Liverpool was 20 percent up on the previous financial year."  However, Sir Nicholas Serot, Tate director did advise of financial issues, with a reliance on revenue generated from shop sales, catering, and sponsorship. (Remember, in Britain, museum admission is free!)

The Times also focused on Arabian investments in Britain.  A headline read, "Middle East investors bring oil-enriched wallets to City."  Sub-headers were, "Arab rivals gear up for struggle over London Stock Exchange" and "Sainsbury’s sale enters final stages as Qataris see the books."  In addition, there was a complete section devoted to Saudi Arabia, where I a sub-heading caught my attention, "Mushtak Parker learns that Saudi Arabia is also looking for a bigger role in Canada."  According to the article, right now, bilateral trade is a mere $1.2 billion.  And, Dr. Abdulaziz al -Sowayegh, the Saudi Ambassador to Canada is quoted as saying, "Canada is looking to diversify its trade partners in various regions.  The kingdom is well placed to become one of the main trade and investment partners in Canada, not only in the region but far beyond." Apparently, the Saudis would like to discuss a free trade agreement to boost bilateral ties.

Another Times header, "Ride a bike?  You must be rich," also captured my attention, especially after I’d seen a proliferation of warning signs for bikers posted in the streets (like the one included at the start of this blog entry).

Ben Webster, The Times Transport Correspondent, comments, "Brands have helped to turn the bicycle into a lust worthy object," and there’s a large photo of Zoe Ball to accompany the article—glamming her way along, no helmet evident.  According to Webster, the richest fifth of the population cycle, on average, two and a half times as far in a year as the poorest fifth. Webster states, "The Department for Transport national survey indicates that the poorest fifth, despite being five times less likely to have access to a car, are very unlikely to consider cycling as a solution to their transport needs."  And, referencing the London Cycling Campaign, Webster remarks, "People on higher incomes may be more concerned about the health benefits of cycling."  A spokesman for the campaign was quoted as saying, "’People on lower incomes may be more concerned with the need to earn money than worrying about what constitutes healthy living or about the issue of climate change and how cycling is the greenest option.’"

The News Section of The Daily Telegraph (page 12) had a large photo of a sculpture by 26 year-old Canadian artist, Camille Allen. Apparently, she’s become known internationally for her clay polymer new born baby works.  I was struck by the placement of the photo.  The bottom half of the page had ads and surrounding it there were briefer news articles.

Also, among The Telegraph’s other photos was one titled, "Make way for the treadmill toddlers."  Obesity among youngsters in Britain (and worldwide) is clearly becoming a real problem!

Again, in The Telegraph, there was a farewell to the QE2. It made a last stop in Liverpool, September 21, on its 40th birthday tour, and was docked for the opening of a new cruise liner terminal there.  Final destination Dubai, where it’ll become a floating hotel.

Finally, also, in The Telegraph, was Con Coughlin’s headline revelation, "The Israelis have unearthed a new and deadlier axis of evil"  Coughlin’s writes about Syria, explaining that reports from Israel suggest a secret nuclear compound at Dayr az-Zawr, which US satellites now show as a pile of rubble after eight Israeli F-15 bombers destroyed the site, the night of September 6, 07.  Summing things up, Coughlin stresses the extent to which Syria, North Korea and Iran are acting as a "new axis of evil"—"cooperating to make the world a far more dangerous place than it was on September 11."

Last week, I celebrated my parents’ golden wedding anniversary in Liverpool—a real privilege.  This is a personal milestone, I’m aware, sadly, I will never be able to enjoy, not being married (yet).  I also marvel over my parents’ wonderful circle of lifelong friends and old-world values—neighbors who’ve known each other and remained in close contact, acting as extended family for generations.  Regrettably, few of my parents’ contemporaries’ children are still in town.  Like me, some have traveled abroad.  Others are based in London.  A couple of parents have been able to follow their children…  

Hometown roots are always important, especially to Liverpudlians.  These days, my home town is very proud of its heritage and accomplishments.  2007 - 2008 are banner years for Liverpool.  Not only does it have its 800th anniversary, it was also named as European Capital of Culture.

The weekend of Sept 15 -16, 07,  saw the city hosting many amazing events, including:
• The Big History Show at St. George’s Hall (photo below)
• The Hope Street Festival
• The Clipper Yacht Launch at the Albert Dock

It was impossible for me to do and see everything, but the few activities I had the chance to experience were exciting.  For the history event, I was happy to be able to hear my elderly father, Professor Rex Makin, give his Saturday presentation.  He is a free man of the city, and spoke to a sell-out audience.  At the clipper yacht launch, I was surprised to meet Sir Robin Knox Johnston. Standing right next to him, I was able to watch him seeing off the fleet with personal attention to detail and delight.

Liverpool is changing fast, as the cranes in front of the landmark Liver Buildings/Three Graces show.

Seasons of change happen externally and environmentally, as well as internally and spiritually.  My trip to Liverpool also coincided with Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement).  On the days in between, I thought of what was and what could be, who I am and who I am not, where we are in the world and how I can help make it a better place.  Am I doing the best job I can?  What are my intentions and actions? Will they harm or help others? How can I live a more fulfilling, altruistic, and satisfying life? 

Values, morals, ethics, and acting mindfully and carefully were prominent in my thoughts.  A time for introspection and reflection is also a time for sharing and caring—"doing the right thing" and nurturing a healthy mindset.  Alas, not all of us succeed as often as we hope to, and some make more mistakes than others.  Intentions matter as does self-knowledge and sensitivity to and consideration for others and our planet.

When we’re able to overcome petty differences, we’re more inclined to take the bigger picture into account—not just act in our own best interests.  Life is short and every day has the potential for positive happenings.  Those who have the health, means, and family with which to enjoy what’s possible are blessed—should take nothing and no one fore granted.

A "Shana Tova" (Good Year!) to everyone!

Let’s be realistic—and honest.  Standards are set very high these days by what we think is true, but actually isn’t.  Magazine touch-ups are an obvious way to recognize how what’s raw and real gets distorted and embellished. 

Lindsay Lohan is an over-played but obvious example. First, let’s take a look at her Elle (September 2007) cover photo, which is only the latest in a series of magazine cover photos.  Then, let’s take a look at her July 24 (07) police mug shot.  Show business would have her appear one way. The law clearly shows her another way…  

How has Lohan gone from that to this or this to that?  Is it fair to blame someone/thing else? Is it even fair to blame her, or her family, friends, and entourage? Is it our business, anyway? Not really—except if she’s a danger to others, which is highly likely with an arrest for drunk driving and cocaine possession.  But, then again, DUI, is no big deal these days—or so it seems for young celebrities.

Paris Hilton, after her promises to stop partying after her DUI jail time, was soon back to her frivolities. Then there’s her off-on "best friend," Nicole Richie, also up for DUI jail time.  Apparently, a boyfriend and pregnancy are the "two major influences" that will break the "bad ‘pattern’" in her life.  Imminent motherhood, she believes, will make her more responsible.  But, shouldn’t she be more responsible first, in order to merit being a mother?  A tad confusing! Or, maybe, not.  We’ve all heard about Britney Spears, and seen how she defends her motherhood foibles.

Sadly, in a society where decent role models don’t seem to get the news coverage they deserve and appropriate consequences are sorely lacking, anything seems to go and be acceptable.  No press is bad press, especially when it can generate $$$$$.

Some people are seen to have it all, and squander what they have.  Others have very little, but are genuine—turn out better human beings, no limelight necessary.

Why would we want to emulate images/icons that are contrived and fleeting—represent actualities that only exist on a glossy page, offering glimpses of what might never be possible or sustainable?

The "too good to be true" is around us everywhere.  Sometimes, we ignore it.  Other times, we’re ready to be taken in by it.  It all depends on how vulnerable (and/or gullible) we are. Self-esteem, need, greed, and fear can cloud judgment, as does peer pressure and bullying.  So, finding ways to keep things in perspective—not relying on perception being reality—is important. Be aware:

1.  Promises are only as good as those who make them.
2.  What happens quickly can unhappen more quickly.
3.  Even it’s free now, you’ll be paying for it later (and probably a lot more).
4.  The easier it is, the less value and longevity it might have.
5.  Telling the truth might get you into trouble.  Not telling it can get others into trouble.  And, when others are in trouble, you may no longer call the shots—they will.
6.  Just because you’re sure of yourself, it doesn’t mean others are sure of you.  And, when you’re sure of others, you might not be sure of yourself.

We all want to think the best, dream of a better tomorrow, and have hope for the future.  It’s a natural survival instinct!  However, what’s more important is to know where, how, and when to draw the line—not be taken in by ourselves, as well as others.  Regardless, we never know how long we have, or how forces beyond our control might change everything in an instant.  Take, for instance, the bridge collapse in Minnesota—a sad reminder and wake-up call, like most unexpected tragedies, to stop dwelling on the superficial (and those who are impressed by it).

I’d been feeling very tired lately—more so than usual.  What had I been doing differently?  Drinking coffee. 

I’d let the occasional small soya latte turn into a daily large—something I’d allowed to have happen before, with similar results.  For a few weeks, I’d feel great.  Then, suddenly, exhaustion overwhelmed.  It’d be hard to sleep and hard to get up. 

Right now, I’m a week coffee-free, and more awake. Nevertheless, I miss the habit—and have been pondering why…

It’s not so much about the coffee, itself.  All the rituals surrounding a "coffee-tude" are even harder to give up.

Usually, whatever one person is feeling or talking about, others are too.  The morning after writing my "coffee poem," (pasted in below), I had the TV on as background, while painting.  A rerun of Rachel Ray’s Valentine’s Day show caught my attention.  Her guest, Dr. Timothy Brantley, the author of a book called, The Cure:  Heal Your Body. Save Your Life, was giving a more scientific explanation of "coffee habit consequences."
 
It was clear that what was happening to me wasn’t in my imagination, and the treatment plan I’d put myself on (to abstain, for now) was the right one.  Just a week in, I feel a lot less groggy!
 
Like with anything else, it’s important to remember that tolerances and responses can vary—and moderation is always good.  What works (or doesn’t) for me, might be different for you.  Also, don’t forget, a lot of coffee shops have become cozy daily hang-outs for many—kind of like pubs used to be in Britain.  They’re not popular just because of their coffee…