Last week, at Pearson in Toronto, airport news stands’ magazine covers heralded Jennifer Aniston’s and John Mayer’s upcoming (fall) nuptials. That was Wednesday. The next day, Thursday, at O’Hare in Chicago, headlines indicated that their whirlwind relationship was over.
Some may feel sorry for Aniston. Others are fed up hearing about her. In actuality, Aniston’s bumpy romances—where she’s seems to have the mischance to hook up with men who have wandering eyes and/or short-enthusiasm spans—aren’t unusual (no matter how beautiful or famous she is).
Think of the enormous numbers of "regular people" who experience similar predicaments, over and again. Between Internet serial dating/perusing, those who constantly look for better (when they have the best right next to them), commitment phobia, and more, there are umpteen reasons why relationships with great potential don’t seem to stick. And, as time goes by, opportunities for lasting and genuine connection go down. Coupled friends, who don’t always realize how lucky they are, move on with more stable routines (normal "developmental milestones"/family lives) leaving "straggler singles" out of the loop. "Straggler singles," might have put equal energy into trying to couple. However, not everyone is gifted with what they want or deserve, no matter how worthy or ready they are for it.
One of the things I love most about poetry is how it manifests timelessness, especially where certain universal messages and themes are concerned. Writing this blog entry led me back my book, Poetic Wisdom. Revealing and Healing (published 10 years ago, in 1998). Two poems in it, about dating/relationships, seem to have relevance here. Please check them out:
Dating Behaviour
There’s dating behaviour
And regular behaviour
To their regular friends,
They’re the "nicest guys"
But, to a blind date,
They can be the worst surprise
A whole other persona is shown,
Which can cause the most tolerant of females to moan
For men on dates,
There’s seldom healthy states
With maturity offering no guarantees,
There are some real grand masters of tease
The stories that they tell,
Yes, they think they’re swell
The return ‘phone calls that they don’t make,
A certain cause of heart-break
The emotional tax that they bill,
Cause for many a female ill
But, if the female seems to brood
She’s the one considered rude
There’s dating behaviour
And, there’s regular behaviour
A New Relationship
Consideration, sensation, elation
Forming a healthy relation
The gentleness of his touch
His words that mean so much
That softness in his face,
So comforting to be in his space
Encounters of a new kind,
But old wounds are not always left behind
Although his words are sweet,
Do you really know his regular beat?
Although his alibis sound fine,
Why do you worry if he’s giving you a line?
Have you met your match?
You’re falling, but will he catch?
Wanting to be in his arms,
Wanting to feel his charms
Regretting the night without him near,
What did you fear?
How long do we have to wait?
Wanting that feeling of a more secure state
p.s. September 1, 08 People Magazine, found at O’Hare this morning, and read after posting this blog entry, has a brief "scoop" on the Anniston/Mayer breakup. Apparently, Mayer is quoted as saying, "’I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don’t want to waste somebody’s time if something’s not right.’" An Aniston source is said to have commented, "’Jennifer is totally fine. John was in love with himself.’" Again, classic responses/interpretations and typical scenarios, maybe? Uncommon attention, common problems…
For more about dating and relationships, please check out some of the other related entries on this blog. These include:
• Play Nice—Near and Far! (John Edwards too…) (August 13, 08)
• Single Because, Just Single, or (Im)Perfectly Single: Unscientific Findings (April 13, 08)
• Dating Games and Disappointments, On- and Off-Line: Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker Helps Identify Obstacles to Relationship-Making (January 25, 08)
• Single Woman Syndrome (SWS) (January 30, 07)
• Bad Date Indicators (January 22, 07)
• Dating Know-How—For Serious Daters (December 4, 06)