RESPECT is one of the "Three Rs": Respect, Reciprocity, Replies.  For more details about the two others, please see earlier blog posts (listed below) that have been highlighted in bold.

Back to basics:  showing respect for others

1. Arrive on time.
2. Listen with interest and focus.
3. Follow up on and stick to what’s been planned or discussed.
4. Give a  “please,”  “thank you,”  “sorry,” without prompt.
5. Show that we all matter equally, regardless of position.
6. Put yourself in the other’s shoes: value and acknowledge their effort.
7. Be prepared in advance, and present on the spot:  don’t waste anyone else’s time or energy.
8. Offer compensation or alternatives when/if things go wrong.
9. Don’t let your cell phone interrupt or take over.
10. Check self-importance at the door.

It’s surprising when (and where) there’s a need to point out “basics.”  Sadly, those in positions of the greatest authority may show the least consideration.  Expectations of them can lead to disappointments, and disappointments may be justified. The only “higher-ups” that deserve RESPECT are the ones who are able to give it.  In a world, and an economy, where anything can happen, being able to get back to basics helps us know (not just feel) what might be right and/or wrong.

How do you confirm you’ve not been respected?  

1. If 5 or more items on the ten-point list (above) appear to have been ignored, intentionally or not.  
2. If you have a stress response later, like IFS (Instant Fatigue Syndrome)

IFS (Instant Fatigue Syndrome)

Fatigue seems to come from nowhere.  One minute you were fine. The next, you feel drained.  Stress can do this!  A feeling of powerlessness and disappointment take over, and nothing (not even the kind words of those who understand) appears able to lift your spirits or energy.  

To go with the fatigue or not?  Sometimes you don’t have a choice.  Being able to sleep things off is a luxury and necessity. Dragging yourself around in pain (without gain) can often make things worse.  Take the time out that you need to regroup, and know better for next time, that no else has the power to drain your essential energies, hopes, and inspiration.  You are weren’t problem!  They were…  Let this be an isolated experience and learning opportunity…

Too polite, or awkward, to let it be known how you feel?

You are not alone!  Most of us would have a similar reaction.  If we were to speak up, we might not be heard anyway. So, what would be the point?  No one likes to be criticized, and complaints often fall on deaf ears.  No wonder there’s so much glumness around!  Fight glumness by moving on. When it’s clear that another can’t show you the respect you’re due, step back and away.  But, don’t be silent about what occurred, indefinitely.  Help make sure that no one else be unnecessarily upset in the same way.  “Forewarned is forearmed,” or so it’s said.

Earlier respect-related Blog Posts include:

• Relationship Watch: Don’t Know What to Do? Do Something! Doing (and Thinking) Differently in 2009 (January 18, 2009)
• New Year’s Resolutions for 2009: Forgiveness Tops Many a List (December 30, 2008)
• Reflections on “The Season of Giving”: Who Cares? Doers, Takers, Nosey-Pokes, Nothingers (December 28, 2008)
• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• No “PLEASE,” No “THANK-YOU,” No HAPPY (May 30, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)