Family Day, a holiday that’s unique to Ontario, Canada, and in its second year, proves challenging to some who live solo. Local decision-makers might not have realized and/or taken into account all the variables and ramifications. This province-wide holiday comes just two days after Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day might have felt awkward for individuals without a “special someone” in their life with whom to celebrate. The next day, they recuperate:  move on from worries about having been unable to identify.  Then, another blow: a similar holiday in rapid succession that seems to have even less relevance to their status, experience, and/or interests.

That the number of singles (never married, divorced, widowed, or separated) is growing, in Canada and elsewhere, is not just a fact.  It’s a reality! Unfortunately, most events scheduled in and around Toronto (as listed in the Toronto Star for Family Day) don’t appear to take this into consideration.  A lot of Torontonians can’t but help feel left out.  However, it’s embarrassing for them to complain out loud. So, what can they do, and how might legislators show greater sensitivity in future years?  Should a “Solo Day” be inserted into the calendar too?

Even if  “Family Day” alienates with a name that’s not every-citizen-inclusive, it’s still important to make the most of the opportunity for a day off, and find alternative purpose for festivity. Better not to lament over what the day might be supposed to represent if you are without family and/or have unhappy familial associations. More advisable to try and make the effort to do something worthwhile, memorable, productive, or relaxing, how ever possible.

Here are some suggestions (in random order) to assist solos who might feel disconnected and/or blue on, or due to, Family Day.  Though each person might have different priorities (needs, limitations, capacities, and capabilities), staying optimistic and being open to doing, thinking, and believing differently is important:

1.   Focus on other personal positives and accomplishments.
2.   Stay active (and distracted) with work projects and/or hobbies.
3.   Avoid situations and venues that cause discomfort.
4.   Hang out with others in similar circumstances.
5.   Volunteer and help those less fortunate.
6.   Welcome invitations that are feel-good opportunities, for self or others.
7.   Relax and rest at home if going out doesn’t seem like it will be fun.
8.   Enjoy pets and focus on spending quality time with them.
9.   Catch up with administrivia (bills) and housekeeping (clean up).
10. Smile! (even if you don’t want to)—perhaps the simplest way to start feeling better.
11. Self-Indulge:  read a good book, go for a run, have a glass of wine or massage…
12. Host a get-together or pot-luck: invite other solos and/or families.

Hats off to families (and friends) who are able to reach out to solos and include and/or make a fuss of them, on Family Day especially!  

Earlier related bog posts include:

• Beat the February Blahs: Connect and Reconnect in Positive Ways (February 14, 2009)
• In Anticipation of VALENTINE’S DAY, Singles Included (February 13, 2008)
• “MOTHER’S Day” for the Disconnected (May 16, 2007)
• Notes on a Scandal: SINGLE and Living Vicariously (February 12, 2007)