Thanksgiving already a memory, the Christmas holidays are almost upon us.  No matter the holiday, house guests are usually involved.  How they behave (or don’t) can help make or break a happy home.

Some guests are house-trained.  Others are not, but can be coaxed.  Here’s a checklist of some essentials:

1.  Bring a gift (no matter how small, or homemade). Tokens of a appriectiation count.
2. "Thank you" matters.  Call or write within a couple of days.
3.  Strip/change the bed and gather up linens and towels for laundry, and/or replace with fresh ones before leaving (if not using your own).
4.  Clean the bathroom that you have been using (especially if it’s one that’s been for your exclusive use).
5.  Eat, drink, and enjoy without taking advantage.  If you know your needs are greater/different than what the host(s) can provide, come prepared or assist with filling the fridge, as necessary.
6.  Tidy up after yourself.  Even if you’re messy at home, try harder not to be elsewhere.  
7.  Know the "rules of the house."  If shoes are supposed to be taken off inside, they are supposed to be taken off inside.  If lights don’t need to be on in every room, lights don’t need to be on in every room…
8.  Be helpful.  Better than asking what you can do to help, take initiative, and do what’s needed to help.  If it’s garbage day, make sure that’s not overlooked.  If the host has a headache and might need a cup of tea, make one.

If you are not invited to stay again, perhaps check the list given above to help determine why.

Other blog posts about consideration and/or social etiquette include:

 • Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• Reliability, Vulnerability, Fear (October 8, 2008)
• Mixed Messages and Contradictions (September 29, 2008)
• PLAY NICE—Near and Far! (John Edwards too… (August 13, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (February 1, 2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
•  “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)

p.s. Reader feedback on this post has been interesting.  One suggestion has been to add a "point number 9"—"If the host gets upset with you for any reason, react calmly and don’t engage their frustration."  Let’s also wonder why a host might get upset, and if certain hosts can be too hard to please!