Forgiveness
A state of mind
More about you than me

Forgiveness
Nothing to do with stuff you may say I’ve done
That about which others, more savvy, might not have thought

Silences alienate
Anger bursts annihilate

Reason, too often not there
Do you really care?

You, not me

You, the one holding the grudge
You, the one whom it’s impossible to nudge

How upset you are is not what things are really about
Or your pout

Forgiveness
A state of mind
Distinguishes the difficult from the kind

Let another live, calmly, their life
Evaporate strife

Realize no one is perfect

We all make mistakes
And we all need breaks

Distance and time
Willingness and compensation
Altruism and imagination

Sometimes matters repair
Sometimes they induce heavier care

"Forgiveness," an 11-letter word
From word to action…

 

Kind gestures finally seem to matter more than material gifts, in part because of the economy, in part because there’s no substitute for healthful human connection.  This holiday season, I baked cookies for friends, neighbors, and neighborhood businesses.  These were genuinely appreciated.  Home-made—no matter how basic, like chocolate chip cookies—shows you care, and that you’ve put precious time aside to do so, beyond the actual gift-giving act or purchase.  During the planning and creation process, it just feels good to know that there can be simpler ways to make others happy.  The more impersonal and alienating/lonely the world becomes, the harder we have to try…

Who cares, and who doesn’t?  You might be surprised and disappointed to find out, especially at peak moments. 

Peak moments are special circumstances (like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other celebrations).  Peak moments can also be times of difficulty:  sickness, loss, disappointment—not health, gain, and happiness.

As we exit the "season of giving" it’s good timing to reflect on our own behavior, as well as others’.  "Do unto others as we would wish to have done unto us" is a familiar cliché," one that may seem increasingly hard to have ring true.  Until something happens to us, ourselves, we might not get that jolt—the jolt that is humbling.  As we stumble, we want another to help catch our fall.  But, there’s not always anyone there—anyone we can count on that is.

Four main personality types appear obvious:  Doers, Talkers, Nosey-Pokes, and Nothingers:

• Doers do, no need to talk about it, in advance or afterwards. They surprise and delight, excuses not necessary.  Doers might owe us nothing.  We can owe them everything.

• Talkers talk, but seldom come through—do or give to anyone else except themselves.

• Nosey-Pokes like to know what’s happening.  "Talking" and "doing" are not really their concerns.  Information check-ins help keep them in the loop—provide scoop/fuel for gossip, but little more.

• Nothingers don’t do, talk, or nose.  They simply aren’t interested in any way—unless it’s about them.

Friends you thought were friends might prove they’re not.  Strangers fill in the blanks, and beyond.  Expectations lead to disappointments.  Disappointments lead to expectations.  At peak moments, we’re likely to realize all of this, and more…

Good caring others may be found once we stop pursuing and/or grieving for those who aren’t.

Earlier related blog posts include:

• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)

Sick doggies may hide in safe places.  At first, I thought this image was cute.  Later, I realized it was a warning sign…

When illness strikes, the other dog often knows first.  Lev alerted me to Sage’s condition, once more, last weekend.  Thanks to her, I took quick action, and got him veterinary care without delay.  Due to Drs Dawne Martin’s and Sharon French’s prompt and careful treatment (at VEC), Sage was able to come home for the holidays, and recuperate. In a matter of days, he’s doing much better. A precious gift—and the only one I needed this holiday season!

Tuesday, surgery day, was a little stressful, as the following poem shows.   

Surgery Day:  Two Dogs, One Heart

She shivered and shook
A fear driven look
Tail down

At the veterinary office we were
Heavy care

Whites of eyes
Painful stare

Another procedure for Sage
Lev recognized every stage

And now, waiting for the call
The call that will let us know the procedure’s done
That the surgeon’s won

Waiting, not easy to do
Hoping, praying, distracting

A limbo land
A place that only those who’ve been there can understand.

Christmas Eve, Wednesday morning, Lev was taking care of Sage in bed.

Today, Christmas Day, both dogs have been basking together, in the sun, on an armchair.

Happy, HEALTHY holidays from Susan, Lev, and Sage!

For other blog posts related to canine health and wellbeing (and Sage’s history), please check out:  

• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Holistic Dental Hygiene: For Dogs and Their Humans (March 4, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)

Thanksgiving already a memory, the Christmas holidays are almost upon us.  No matter the holiday, house guests are usually involved.  How they behave (or don’t) can help make or break a happy home.

Some guests are house-trained.  Others are not, but can be coaxed.  Here’s a checklist of some essentials:

1.  Bring a gift (no matter how small, or homemade). Tokens of a appriectiation count.
2. "Thank you" matters.  Call or write within a couple of days.
3.  Strip/change the bed and gather up linens and towels for laundry, and/or replace with fresh ones before leaving (if not using your own).
4.  Clean the bathroom that you have been using (especially if it’s one that’s been for your exclusive use).
5.  Eat, drink, and enjoy without taking advantage.  If you know your needs are greater/different than what the host(s) can provide, come prepared or assist with filling the fridge, as necessary.
6.  Tidy up after yourself.  Even if you’re messy at home, try harder not to be elsewhere.  
7.  Know the "rules of the house."  If shoes are supposed to be taken off inside, they are supposed to be taken off inside.  If lights don’t need to be on in every room, lights don’t need to be on in every room…
8.  Be helpful.  Better than asking what you can do to help, take initiative, and do what’s needed to help.  If it’s garbage day, make sure that’s not overlooked.  If the host has a headache and might need a cup of tea, make one.

If you are not invited to stay again, perhaps check the list given above to help determine why.

Other blog posts about consideration and/or social etiquette include:

 • Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• Reliability, Vulnerability, Fear (October 8, 2008)
• Mixed Messages and Contradictions (September 29, 2008)
• PLAY NICE—Near and Far! (John Edwards too… (August 13, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (February 1, 2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
•  “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)

p.s. Reader feedback on this post has been interesting.  One suggestion has been to add a "point number 9"—"If the host gets upset with you for any reason, react calmly and don’t engage their frustration."  Let’s also wonder why a host might get upset, and if certain hosts can be too hard to please!

At home sick, over recent weeks, there’s been an opportunity to get back to basics.  Though always a "health-conscious eater," I am all the more so now.  No one else around to nurture me on a daily basis, and the dogs unable to cook (only supervise), I’ve not just come up with some interesting concoctions, but ones that are easily portionable, freezable, reheatable, and digestible.

As a "one," it’s great to have something tasty pre-prepared for zero energy days, especially before and after medical procedures.  And, when you’re able to advance-cook in bulk, time and wastage are saved.  Also, efforts can be enjoyed over a series of days or weeks.  

A "secret weapon" in making (swelling) grain-based recipes is a microwave rice-cooker.  While that’s doing its job, I bake and/or chop the other ingredients, ready to be added later.

Brown Rice Rissotto—Kind Of

• Baby bok choy (6 medium-size)
• Celery (bunch)
• Cranberries (1 small container)
• Squash (1 or 2 large)
• Short grain brown rice (1 bag)
• Arugala pesto sauce (1 small container)
• Pine nuts (a couple of ounces, lightly grilled to brown)

Once the rice is cooked, the rest of the ingredients can be added.  The bok choy, celery, and cranberries will soften with the heat from the rice and squash.  The squash has been baked for 45 mins to an hour at 450 degrees, before being extracted from its skin and cut into small pieces. The final dish, with all ingredients combined, can be microwaved for a couple of minutes before serving and/or freezing.

A nice piece of fresh fish, like Tilapia, served on top, makes for a more complete meal.  Vegetarians can add a goat cheesed topping, grilling or baking to melt.

Quinoa and Sweet Potato (image above)

• Quinoa (1 bag of mixed, red and white)
• Sweet potatoes (4 large)
• Celery (bunch)
• Green tomatoes (6)
• Mache (one packet)
• Slivered almonds (1 container)
• Salad dressing, with garlic and sundried tomatoes

Once the quinoa is cooked (in the rice cooker) and the sweet potatoes have been baked and cut up, all ingredients can be mixed together.  The tomatoes, celery, and mache will soften with the heat from the quinoa and sweet potatoes.  The final dish, with all ingredients combined, can be microwaved for a couple of minutes before serving and/or freezing.

Again, a nice piece of fresh fish, like Tilapia, served on top, makes for a more complete meal.  Vegetarians can make a goat cheesed topping, grilling or baking to melt. And, if company is coming, why not get fancy:  stuff peppers with it, and bake in the oven till the peppers are slightly softened. Large red, yellow, or orange peppers makenice color contrasts.

Non-Freezable fresh foods are important too.  Best not to let these last beyond three days.  Therefore, keep recipe quantities in mind.

The Best Egg Salad

(3 portions:  day of making, the next day, and the next)

• Eggs (6)
• Nayanaise with Dijon
• Feta (4 ounces, or thereabouts)
• Giant green olives (small container)
• Baby carrots (a handful, before chopping) or fennel (a handful, afer chopping)
• Salt and pepper to season

Serve on a bed of romaine lettuce and/or with rice crackers to make a more complete meal.

Not-Quite Guacamole

(3 portions:  day of making, the next day, and the next)

• Avocado (extra large)
• Juice of one lemon
• Sundried tomatoes (6 chopped small)
• Regular tomato (1 large)
• Spring onions (a few)
• Probioitic yogurt (but don’t drown the avocado)
• Salt and pepper to season

• Optional add in:  roasted artichokes with olive oil

Serve with crackers as a snack.  Kashi’s 7 Grain are an interesting choice. For the yogurt, Liberté’s Svelte Bio works well.

Fruit Cup and/or Smoothy

(3 portions of fruit cup:  day of making, the next day, and the next.  On day three, any remainders can be used for a fruit smoothy mix.)

• Lemon juice (from 1 lemon)
• Banana
• Blueberries (1 container)
• Pineapple chunks (fresh)
• Dates (fresh)
• Mango
• Mint (homegrown, in season)

(Probiotic Yogurt for the fruit smoothy, and ice, also a tablespoon of flax seeds—if you want to stay "regular".  Again, Liberté’s Svelte Bio is particularly good for the yogurt.)

For other recipes on this blog, please check out the following posts:

• Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality (November 22, 2008)
• The Cooking Gene—No Exact Recipes, Wholesome Cuisine 2: Cookies and Scones (September 25, 2008)
• The Cooking Gene—No Exact Recipes, Wholesome Cuisine 1: Soups (September 22, 2008)

 

Apologies for the paucity of blog posts over the last—and next—little while.  I’ve been spending more time at Toronto’s University Health Network facilities than imagined.  This past weekend’s expedient and careful treatment by staff at the Toronto General site, as well as by Toronto’s EMS personnel, was encouraging and impressive.  Also, my "room with a view" in the General’s new Clinical Services Building had more of a hotel-feeling than a hospital. I am thankful to be home, and feeling much better!

ANATOMY OF A VACATION

Day one
Adventure just begun
Mind shifting, spirits lifting

Day two
Experience still new
Transitioning through

Day three
Rhythms change
More oriented, less strange

Days four and five
Starting to feel alive

Enjoyment finding

Day six, getting your fix
Wanting more

Savoring the moment while it lasts

Then there’s day seven
Almost homeward bound

Just started to relax and it’s time to pack
To reality, get back

Fresher you feel
Another few days would have been ideal.