DocSusan’s Blog :: November

Thanksgiving Thanks to The Art Connection, Boston. Effort and Possibility in Everyone’s Reach

November 27, 2008

By chance, on Thanksgiving eve, I received notification that two more Boston charities were to be given my artwork for display. I greatly appreciate how The Art Connection makes artist donorship possible, even for those who no longer live in the area. I became involved with the Art Connection in 2006, and feel proud and honored to have had several dozen works chosen by 15 of their local charities in the last two years. My artwork is now enjoyed by:

• Andrew Peabody School (A Rigorous Academic Approach with a Commitment to the Arts), Cambridge, MA
• Boston Public Health Commission (protecting, promoting, and preserverving the health and well-being of all Boston residents, particularly the most vunerable, Boston, MA
• Boston Rescue Mission (Transforming Lives at Risk Since 1899), Boston, MA
• Casa Esperanza (a bilingual bicultural Latino community sanctuary for those overcoming homelessness and/or addictions), Boston, MA
• CFCS_TLC (Cambridge Family and Children’s Sevice—Teens Learning Choices Programme), Cambridge, MA
• Community Work Services (promoting independence through employment, for challenged indivduals), Boston, MA
• Goddard House (Serving Elders Since 1849), Jamaica Plain, MA
• HAWC (Help for Abused Women and their Children), Salem, MA
• Health Care for All (providing comprehensive, affordable, accessible, culturally competent, high quality care for everyone, especially the most vulenerable), Boston, MA
• Malden Senior Community Center (a newly developed property providing services to Malden area seniors who previously utilized a center in a windowless basement), Malden, MA
• MAP for Health (health link for MA Asian and Pacific Islanders), Boston, MA
• Sherrill House, (a not-for proflt skilled nursing and rehabiliation Center), Jamaica Plain, MA
• St. Francis House (largest day shelter for the poor and homeless in New England), Boston, MA
• Triangle Inc (helping people with disabiliites), Malden, MA
• Year Up Inc (helping urban young adults), Boston, MA

In keeping with today’s food/Thanksgiving theme, the image at the start of this post is called "Ripe," and comes from the trilogy, "Ripe, Sweet, and Lonely," at St. Francis House (each image: 24 x 24, oil on canvas, 2005). "Sweet" is inserted above this note, and "Lonely" below it. Thanksgiving is a great time to send kind wishes to, and care for, the "ripe," the "sweet," and the "lonely" —in the environment where this artwork is now on display, and beyond. What a suitable home these paintings have found!

Interestingly, The Art Connection is working on a "pilot project" at St. Francis House. Accordingly, they asked me to write about the the pieces I have hanging there, including the "Ripe, Sweet, and Lonely" trilogy. In an effort to make art placements a bit more educational for clients, a statement from the artist, it’s hoped, can help give the viewer a better understanding of the work. This is what I wrote:

"Ripe," "Sweet," and "Lonely": three things I thought about while painting this trilogy. Even though I’m ripe (all grown-up) and sweet (kind), I’m often lonely (as a single adult), just like so many others out there. People might be compared to fruit, with outside (skin) and inside (taste) provoking different responses Also, fruit cut up into pieces (like for a salad), can be arranged on the plate in a variety of ways. Some fruits are placed close together and/or touch. Others end up further apart. Each of the three paintings focus on one description—the" ripe," the "sweet," or the "lonely"—and they are intended to be arranged in that order, from left to right. I am quite comfortable painting food, as well as writing about it. As an art therapist, I had a book published called, More Than Just a Meal: The Art of Eating Disorders. (2000). Also, when I didn’t get into a conventional landscape painting class at SMFA (the Museum of Fine Arts School, Boston) I decided to create my own landscapes in other ways. Food offers many possibilities and gives much cause for thought. There is not only the selecting and arranging of it, but the eating (to celebrate) that comes afterwards. In my earlier work (to which these paintings belong) I came to like using pale blue backgrounds. They show reflections and shadows well, especially when objects are not crowded together. I also like the softness (and restfulness) of this color, and the contrasts it can encourage. All the fruits painted in the "ripe, " sweet," and "lonely" set are among my favorites. Their shapes, colors, textures, and flavors each have their own significance, as well as work well together. As with most of the artwork I create, I don’t like to create one-off single pieces. I also prefer to work on several pieces simultaneously, going from one to the next, consistently.

To view more of my "food art," please check out the Snack Happy! and Buon Appetito! collections as well as the Representational Gallery, all on the DocSusan website.

Handling Disappointment Together, or Alone

November 24, 2008

Some face disappointments better than others, especially when they’re not alone. Last week, Anne Curry spoke graciously about the Today Show team’s decision to discontinue their climb up Kilimanjaro. Disappointing as it was, she appeared heartened by the experience. Taking into account the well-being of everyone in the group of five had clearly been bonding, rewarding, and energizing. Out of negativity can come positivity, especially if peers help cope with, share, and determine consequences. Having to act, think, and feel by oneself (no support, discussion, or empathy) is a lot more challenging.

With respect to the Today Show’s Kilimanjaro ascent, it is not unusual that the group might not have made it to the top. Regardless of poor weather conditions, and the extra responsibilities covering a story gave, statistics show that only 50% of those who set out do finish the climb.

If facing disappointment alone, what might help?

1. Follow-up—having something else to which it’s possible to look forward
2. Being prepared in advance—knowing (available) options, possibilities, and alternatives
3. Aftercare—the ability to focus on other interests and distractions
4. Knowing the odds—realistic expectations and keeping things in perspective
5. Strangers making (helpful) approaches out-of -the-blue
6. Family and friends not adding to letdowns
7. Time—for healing, reflection, and reconnection
8. Surprises—being open to coincidences and outcomes that might help lead to fresh opportunities

Earlier blog entries about other life-challenges (and stress-reaction-generators and -protectors), include:

• Veterans Day and SHARING (November 11, 2008)
• Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types (November 16, 2008)
• Solo Travel (October 22, 2008)
• Reliability, Vulnerability, Fear (October 8, 2008)
• Airport News Stands: Jennifer Aniston, “Straggler Single”: Uncommon Attention, Common Problems. (Poetry about Dating and Related Blog Entry Links Included) (August 22, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• No “PLEASE,” No “THANK-YOU,” No HAPPY (May 30, 2008)
• 24/7 (April 19, 2008)
• In Anticipation of VALENTINE’S DAY, Singles Included (February 13, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• February FUNK (February 3, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (Februrary 1,2008)
• Dating Games and Disappointments, On- and Off-Line: Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker Helps Identify Obstacles to Relationship-Making (January 25, 2008)
• DEPRESSION ALERT! and Heath Ledger’s Unfortunate Death (January 24, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• The COURAGE to Speak Up—Use POETRY (July 10, 2007)
• “A” and “B” List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• COMPARISON-MAKING, ENVY, JEALOUSY (June 23, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• SLEEP Issues (May 20, 2007)
• “MOTHER’S Day” for the Disconnected (May 16, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• FAMILIARITY (March 12, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• No-Partum Depression (NPD)—Not “Celebrity Gossip” Worthy (February 18, 2007)
• Notes on a Scandal: SINGLE and Living Vicariously (February 12, 2007)
• SINGLE Woman Syndrome (SWS) (January 30, 2007)
• Bad DATE Indicators (January 22, 2007)
• SINGLES’ Health: Eating Alone (January 14, 2007)
• SINGLE and Not Settling (December 29, 2006)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)
• Loss (November 19, 2006)

Earlier blog entries about the Today Show’s Kilimanjaro climb:

• Will "Today Show’s” Anne Curry Reach the Summit? No Live Camera Footage on Day Two of Reporting from Kilimanjaro, Just Inspiration and Conservation
(November 18, 2008)
• Tricks And Secrets For Making It To The Top: The Truth About Ascending Kilimanjaro By Someone Who’s Done It. “Today Show’s Anne Curry Struggling”—Dramatic Headline Tops Google Searches Yesterday (November 18, 2008)
• Anne Curry Climbs Kilimanjaro: Today Show Goes to the Ends of the Earth to Examine Life-Sustaining Sources of Water and Threats to Them. Preparing to Climb Kilimanjaro? Check DocSusan’s Blog (November 17, 2008)

Homemade Dog Food: Synchronicity, Health, Quality

November 22, 2008

THIS BLOG ENTRY IS A FOLLOW-UP TO 48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly.Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images - November 10, 2008.)

Synchronicity is interesting! A Today Show segment, November 8, 08, discussed the healthiest food choices for dogs, and what to avoid. The interviewee, pet expert, Andrea Arden raved about Wellness. (Please check out an earlier blog entry of mine, Dog Food that’s Safe and Delicious, March 20, 2007.)

Wellness is likely one the best commercial brands on the market, for now, and Lev and Sage have been enjoying two of their more recent products, "Just For Puppy Treats" and" Small Breed Supermix 5." Though both dogs are really out of the age range for these, they seem to thrive on them. The one packet of their "Just for Seniors" that we tried had a funny smell and texture. After Lev and Sage struggled to finish it, I decided the product wasn’t for us. Also, some of the canned (soft) food seemed to upset both dogs’ stomachs and give them bad breath…

Following Sage’s oral surgery, I had little choice but to try making dog food myself, something that would give the little chap essential nutrients for a speedy recovery and not have to be crunched. As you’ll know from other blog entries, I don’t tend to record exact ingredients or instructions (The Cooking Gene—No Exact Recipes, Wholesome Cuisine 2: Cookies and Scones, September 25, 2008; The Cooking Gene—No Exact Recipes, Wholesome Cuisine 1: Soups, September 22, 2008) Here is what I used (roughly) for the dog food:

Ingredients for Dog Food, with Chicken or Beef as Primary Protein
(all fresh, not frozen)

• 2 large heads of broccoli
• 4 large sweet potatoes
• 1 pack of baby carrots
• 1 pack of Lundberg Short Grain Brown Rice
• 2 cups of flaxmeal
• 4 packs of minced chicken
• 2 packs of minced beef
• Extra virgin olive oil (to cook the meat)
• A couple of cups of water, for cooking and blending ingredients

Cooking

Microwave all ingredients (separately) except the meat and poultry, which are cooked on the stove (also separately) in a large frying pan with a dash of olive oil.

Semi-Purée

All ingredients are blended except the rice, which remains whole and is added in last.

Portioning

Two thirds of the vegetables and starches are mixed with the chicken and one third with the beef.

32 (snack-food size) containers of freezable food are made in total—5 - 6 meal helpings in each, depending on the pet’s size and whether anything else is added at mealtime. There are 12 containers with beef and 20 with chicken.

I decided to start Sage off with the beef, since there’d be more iron with that (and he’d lost quite a bit of blood).

Food Toppers

To make the food more nutritious and interesting, I bought the following food toppers to sprinkle before serving:

• The Missing Link Canine Formula
• Liver Sprinkle
• Salmon Flakes

Preparation Time

Approximately two hours (+ shopping time).

Supply

Approximately 6 weeks’ worth of food (that freezes and defrosts well).

Please Note

I am not an expert in pet nutrition, but relied on common sense, enthusiasm and creativity for this project. Even if these recipes aren’t perfect, likely they’re a lot better than most store-bought options.

Some Important Considerations for My Home-Cooking, Whether for Caninekind or Humans:

1. Choose unprocessed ingredients.
2. Prepare with love and care.
3. Remember that what goes in must come out (hopefully, with good consistency and color, no stink).
4. Be aware how breath smells after eating: bad isn’t good.
5. Note that less equals more. A little can go a long way.
6. Don’t forget the "yum" factor. Food that’s eaten eagerly, must be tasty.

FOR OTHER BLOG ENTRIES RELATED TO HEALTH AND WELLBEING (and Sage’s history), please check out:

• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)

• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)

• Holistic Dental Hygiene: For Dogs and Their Humans (March 4, 2008)

• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)

Will “Today Show’s” Anne Curry Reach the Summit? No Live Camera Footage on Day Two of Reporting from Kilimanjaro, Just Inspiration and Conservation

November 18, 2008

Anne Curry spoke by phone (live) from Kilimanjaro, today. Yes, breathing might be difficult, but wireless connections do work almost all the way to the top. Many guides have cell phones, and chat and text frequently, while taking breaks!

How is Anne really doing? Something viewers, and the other presenters, are clearly wondering. Her voice definitely sounds like she’s experiencing altitude sickness. Also, she must be fatigued from the climb, and the thinner air makes it difficult to speak normally. Despite this, it’s obvious her spirits are high, as she confirmed. What an accomplishment—not only to participate on the ascent, but to work as hard as she has done by bringing us such insightful, unique, and careful reporting, regardless of obstacles!*

The MSNBC crew are now at 15,700 feet, where, we’re told, they will have several days to adjust and relax. Rest, perseverance, and teamwork, will, hopefully, see them through! In my experience, the last 4,000 feet come more easily, thanks to the added benefits of Diamox, hand-warmers, adrenaline, warm clothes and water, and lots of faith. Also, very important to know, Tanzanian guides and porters are incredible!

Be assured, each climber will be assisted and/or encouraged every step of the way from here on in—and checked with a pulse oximeter, frequently! Also, please know that when I made it to the top on my own climb, I wasn’t able to take any photos or video footage. The agony—and ecstasy—were simply too great!

All the best to Anne and her team. Even if the Today Show climbers don’t make it all the way, they’ve still given us a wonderful gift. * The focus on water conservation—the real purpose of the trip—has been inspiring! Most people who climb Kilimanjaro return home with life-changing/saving ideas, that hopefully will translate into actions, big or small. I made a personal list, shared in a blog piece entitled, Lessons from Kilimanjaro (January 11, 2008).

For further information on climbing Kilimanjaro, and firsthand accounting, please check out other earlier blog entries, listed in yesterday’s (November 17, 08) blog piece: Anne Curry Climbs Kilimanjaro: “Today Show” Goes to the Ends of the Earth to Examine Life-Sustaining Sources of Water and Threats to Them.

For further details on how to become more "green," please check out NBC Universal’s Green Your Routine links.

Tricks And Secrets For Making It To The Top: The Truth About Ascending Kilimanjaro By Someone Who’s Done It. “Today Show’s Anne Curry Struggling”—Dramatic Headline Tops Google Searches Yesterday

There are many interesting aspects to the Today Show’s Anne Curry climb up Mount Kilimanjaro, beyond the notion that she might not make it to the top. But, if Google rankings indicate popularity, David Bauder’s Associated Press article (which suggests that possibility) appears to be dominating search pages.

Readers and writers who haven’t had the privilege of ascending this great peak might not realize the daunting task this very talented and (usually) incredibly fearless journalist was given (at short notice). They also might not know that mountain sickness (like weather condition changes) can come in waves. Some days and hours are better than others. Those who have initial difficulties might do well later. Those who do well earlier might do poorly later. Luck, predictability, certainty, and confidence aren’t quite the same above the clouds as below them.

As I’ve revealed in recollections of my own climb, from last year, training doesn’t always matter as much as three other factors: Here are some personal tricks/secrets I discovered along the way, in an excerpt from from my December 2, 2007 Blog Entry: Climbing KILIMANJARO—Making it to the Top

I wasn’t the fittest person in the group, I also hadn’t done enough (almost any) training. So, how did I make it to the top (be in the 50% who do, and the only woman among peers)? I think three factors helped:

1. I had the proper clothing (and wore it)—really took time to organize packing and followed all formal instructions from guidebooks and informal instructions from travelers who’d succeeded previously.

2. I didn’t try to be clever or take chances in any way—used poles, ate and hydrated well, listened to the guides in going "pole, pole" (slowly, slowly), and took the necessary meds. Thank you Diamox (altitude sickness inhibitor)! Even though this drug made my hands and feet tingle relentlessly, it was a very good friend and support.

3. I didn’t go on the climb with the idea that I had to make it all the way. I was aware that I might not have the capacity to do so, and could forgive myself weaknesses. Competition was not what this journey was about for me. It was more of a spiritual quest about being there and experiencing whatever was meant to be—and accepting it, while still fit and young enough to get myself over there.

The lead-up days to the final ascent were a honeymoon of sorts. The final ascent was a whole different story—nothing similar—the most challenging physical endeavor I have ever faced (and no one had informed me about properly). What kept me going on the final ascent? Three gifts:

1. The camaraderie of those with whom I was climbing and our attentive guides.

2. The not knowing what was coming next and not having been prepared for the worst—being in a situation I could do nothing about and just getting on with it.

3. The not-giving up factor, once I was so close, and because there was no real reason to. How could I go down (in still bad weather conditions) if I hadn’t made it up? We’d been climbing for six days and, at the 11th hour, I couldn’t justify turning back. It was the same way down if you made it up or not, and I couldn’t find a good enough reason to turn around. Not thinking about what I was actually doing or the discomfort of continuing also helped. Automatic movements and focusing on other thoughts—and struggles—became a lot more meaningful and empowering. I acknowledged that I never really give up, no matter how awful the task is, making the climb a metaphor for so much more.

For the last hour I wept my way up, partly out of pain, partly out of emotion—maybe more out of emotion. I couldn’t turn off my tears or howls. The tears froze and the howls got absorbed by the wind. The feelings were intensely private. But, as discussed later with climbing peers, appropriately universal. These guys had had their own emotional releases too! Reaching the top, we all embraced. It was a magical moment in a glacial wonderland where we were too cold and tired to take photos or stick around.

Preparing to Climb Kilimanjaro? For more details about the Kilimanjaro climbing experience, as well as links to ealier blog entries, please see my posting from yesterday (November 17, 08): Anne Curry Climbs Kilimanjaro: “Today Show” Goes to the Ends of the Earth to Examine Life-Sustaining Sources of Water and Threats to Them.

Anne Curry Climbs Kilimanjaro: “Today Show” Goes to the Ends of the Earth to Examine Life-Sustaining Sources of Water and Threats to Them. Preparing to Climb Kilimanjaro? Check DocSusan’s Blog

November 17, 2008

The Today Show, Monday November 17, 08: An Anniversary Gift!

A year ago, I summited Mount Kilimanjaro (the largest free-standing mountain in the world), and I remain deeply emotional about the experience. That the Today Show is able to share some of the sights, concerns, and feelings I have been privileged to know first-hand maked me excited, curious, and senimental. What will viewers responses be? How will Anne Curry and her crew make the climb with all the physical and health challenges it entails, beyond the demands of producing pre-recorded and live television segments?

Did Anne Curry and MSNBC check DocSusan’s Blog as part of their research before climbing Kilimanjaro? DocSusan’s poetry and advice about the Kilimanjaro climbing experience gets lots of hits due to its on-the-spot reflections, recollections, and reasonings.

Please check out these popular Kilimanjaro-related blog entries:

• Kilimanjaro Imax Video (April 22, 2008)
• Lessons from KILIMANJARO (January 11, 2008)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (5): Poems 8 and 9 (of 9) (December 12, 2007)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (4): Poems 6 and 7 (of 9) (December 10, 2007)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (3): Poems 4 and 5 (of 9) (December 9, 2007)
• KILIMANJARO POETRY Continued (2): Poems 2 and 3 (of 9) (December 7, 2007)
• Climbing KILIMANJARO: A Life Changing Experience and Poetic Opportunity (Kilimanjaro Poem 1 of 9) (December 4, 2007)
• Climbing KILIMANJARO—Making it to the Top (December 2, 2007)

The Associated Press’s David Bauder reported on Anne’s (actual) climbing progress (shortly after setting out) on the weekend, in his piece, "Today" show’s Ann Curry struggling up Kilimanjaro. After seeing today’s live reporting from Anne, I wondered about timing. Was this really the optimum week for a safe, sure, and healthy summiting of the mountain?

Other "ends of the earth" explored by the Today Show Team:

• Matt Lauer: The Blue Hole off the Coast of Belize

• Meredith Vieira: Sydney Harbour, Australia

• Al Roker: Iceland

Poetry about other African safari experiences is included in the following blog entries:

• AFRICA Odyssey: Poetry on Safari—3 (May 10, 2007)
• AFRICA Odyssey: Poetry on Safari—2 (April 22, 2007)
• AFRICA Odyssey: Poetry on Safari—1 (February 6, 2007)

Price-Conscious in Toronto: A One Dollar Price-Difference between Wholefoods and Loblaws

Two weeks ago, I was at Wholefoods (Hazelton Lanes) and discovered Pom’s new line of lighter tea drinks. They were $3.99 each. A little pricey, I thought. Last week, I was at Loblaws (Bathurst and St. Clair) and found the same drinks for $2.99 each—one dollar less. Not a small amount! Last night, back at Wholefoods, I noticed a display of Pom Teas close to the cash, obviously for last-minute/impulse purchases. This prompted me to ask a Wholefoods team member if they "price-matched." Instead of simply saying, "No," she volunteered three reasons whey they don’t: (1) They are good to their employees, and start them off at $2.50 more an hour than anywhere else. (2) They offer food samples. (3) Customers can bring food back after tasting it if they don’t like it. She then told me to wait a minute while she checked with team leaders. Naively, I wondered if a one-time goodwill discount was being arranged. On the contrary! Another fact was transmitted as to why Loblaws is more price-smart. Apparently, they have 1200 stores…and Wholefoods is unique in Yorkville. Exiting Wholefoods, a little perplexed by the justifications, I looked back over my shoulder and witnessed sniggering team members. I’d like to hope that the price issue, and my raising it, wasn’t cause for their amusement.

Secondhand Stress: Breaking-Up and Making-Up, “Frienemies,” and “Used-to-be-Friend” Types

November 16, 2008

The Today Show looked at a new buzz subject this morning, "secondhand stress"—the not being able to sleep at night because of worrying about other peoples’ problems. This terminology is catchy, like "secondhand smoke." But, "secondhand smoke," which is exactly that, is easier to define accurately. "Secondhand stress," when thought about carefully, could have extended and/or alternative meanings. How others’ problems make us worry (about them) might not be as serious as how others (problematic) behavior (towards us) can give us our own fresh problems—first-, as well as secondhand, stress.

Our interactions with other people, and the relationships they help make or break are key determinants of well-being. Think about the ends of friendships and the misunderstandings and lack of resolution attached to them. These can come about because of one person’s own (unrelated) issues, and actually have very little do with the other person at all. Unfortunately, few ex-friends who instigate break-ups, provide chances for clarification.

"Friend A," who is typically quick to anger, jealousy, or assumption, might eliminate "Friend B" instantly, no leeway for discussion or explanation. In the aftermath, "Friend B" wonders what’s hit him. What did he do wrong? Perhaps nothing. But, the ongoing stress from the loss of the friendship that seems impossible to repair still nags and gnaws. Then there’s "passive aggression" in ongoing "friendships." "Friend A" bottles things up for a long time, not telling "Friend B" what’s wrong. Instead, he acts out in different ways that make "Friend B" feel uncomfortable or unable to get things right. Intentionally, or not, "Friend A" may be a bit of a "manipulator." However, most "manipulators" often set out with a plan from the start, and "passive aggression" is often more unconscious than contrived. Secrecy, is something else, and another friendship-barrier.

There’s a lot to say about how others make us feel, and how we handle our responses to stress generated by interactions with "used-to-be-friends". This blog entry focuses on categorizing and listing the "frienemy-types" that can boost (secondhand) stress levels, as suggested in the scenarios just described:

1. The Quick-Ender: This "frienemy" has a short fuse, quickly ignited by jealousy, anger, and/or assumption. Being friends with this person can be an interesting/passionate ride, so long as they are on your side. However, once they develop a "hate," stand clear. If they do agree to talk things through, they won’t have much of a listening ear. Their quickness to judgment is a bit of a handicap, and they’ll have to be right, and you’ll have to wrong…

2. The Bottler: This "frienemy" might not know how to act differently, and prefer to swathe in self-defensive behaviors that don’t bode well for open and adaptable friendships. Bottling is a lengthy process, and preserved foods have shelf life. What’s been happening over (an extended) period of time can’t be repaired in an instant. Habits have formed, which may be hard to break, and expectations (and disappointments) linger. The person who doesn’t seem like a troublemaker may actually cause more anguish than imaginable…

3. The Controller: This "frienemy" might not have been open or true from the start, having a one-sided notion of "friendship requirements." Most friendships, like it or not, happen on a "needs" basis. "A" offers "B" something, "B" offers "A" something. There’s overlapping "interests" or "connection possibilities." Friendships that don’t give "returns" mightn’t be valuable enough for "controllers" to maintain: "friends" who can’t be made to do something are no longer "friends." Self-esteem may determine how long manipulation can be endured—no one likes a "bully" but a "bully" often finds ways to stick around (especially when others are weak)…

4. The Secretive: This "frienemy" has "boundaries" that are extreme or unnecessary. Caring and sharing are natural components of healthy friendships. Not disclosing relevant information and keeping secrets jeopardizes and destroys potential to take things to the next level. "Holding-patterns" don’t work. When one person does all the talking and the other all the listening (and questioning), there’s an imbalance. This doesn’t always happen because the talker is self-absorbed. The listener simply wishes to keep the focus on the other person as a way of avoiding questions about his "own stuff"…

We don’t usually know, right away, how a friendship will play out—whether or not there’ll be problems with a "Quick-Ender," "Bottler," "Controller," or "Secretive" type. But, like with other life-circumstances, before a final fallout, there are often warning signs, to which we may, or may not, pay attention. So, when friendships are dissolved, there may be a lot more pain than surprise. Also, making (satisfying) peace with the types listed above isn’t, generally, a viable option.

Earlier Blog Entries about Friendship include:

• "A" and "B" List FRIENDS (July 8, 2007)
• FRIENDS Help Friends (December 7, 2006)

Earlier Blog Entries about Relationship Stressors Include:

• Mixed Messages and Contradictions (September 29, 2008)
• PLAY NICE—Near and Far! (John Edwards too…) (August 13, 2008)
• MANIPULATION (August 9, 2008)
• RECIPROCITY (February 8, 2008)
• CONFIDENCE (February 1, 2008)
• RELATIONSHIP “Uppers” and “Downers” (January 29, 2008)
• GIVING: Give to Give (September 5, 2007)
• Keep Your Word (July 25, 2007)
• ABUSE Checklists (May 26, 2007)
• TRUTH Matters (May 8, 2007)
• Make Things CLEAR—Avoid MISUNDERSTANDINGS (April 17, 2007)
• Handle with CARE—IDENTIFY, EXPOSE, and GET HELP for Those Who Can Do Harm (like at Virginia Tech) (April 17, 2007)
• A “NO” REPLY is Better than NO REPLY (April 13, 2007)
• REJECTION Protection (February 25, 2007)
• TIME is Precious (December 15, 2006)

Overnight Success

November 15, 2008

Puppyhood gets hits! The attention six Shibu Inu pups have brought Ustream has been impressive. Overnight, a breed and website have created a buzz. Cuteness and technology capture attention…and are good for business!

The AGO Reopens and ARTISTS Do MATTER

November 14, 2008

Today is the official grand opening of the Art Gallery of Ontario. Last night, a special celebration that embraced local living artists was a great success. The warmth of Director Matthew Teitelbaum’s welcome set the tone. Apart from his introduction of the Frank Gehry team and museum staff and curators, he shared personal memories of childhood visits to the old AGO and his own father’s financial struggles as an artist.

Artists’ successful involvement with the (new) institution, Teitelbaum made clear, is essential, and was stressed by the handing out of badges to invitees on entry. These announced, "Artists Matter."

It was a treat to be able to wander through the exhibits, few others around, and construction workers still adding finishing touches. Hopefully, the excitement of the AGO’s reopening can be maintained, and help evaporate feelings of aloofness and alienation for which Toronto’s too often been known.

Veterans Day and SHARING

November 11, 2008

Veterans, or Rememberance, Da y is a good time to think of others, not just ourselves—see how we can give a helping hand, even (and especially) if there’s no (obvious) direct return.

SHARING

Sharing’s not a gift or bonus
Simply a necessity
What makes the world go round
Helps put us on solid ground

If we share, we care
If we care, we’re nice

Too much ice, and winter’s not even here
What’s the fear?

Be generous however you can
Not always with money or material things

No strings
Gratitude and platitude much more brings

Knowing that you’ve not held back
Keeps everyone on the right track

That you could have done more
Doesn’t even the score, keeps everyone poor

Share because you care
Care because you share
The order doesn’t matter
I’s the doing that counts
Regardless of amounts

A little extra kindness can’t be bought
Another life-lesson taught.

48-Hours of Caring for Sick and Elderly. Sage Makin, Little Wonder-Dog’s Recovery in Images

November 10, 2008

As discussed earlier in this blog, everyone seems to have time for a new puppy. It’s also important to make a fuss of older dogs—recognize when they might be ailing and see to their every need. Checking they’re as comfortable as possible takes effort and requires greater responsiblity than some owners are prepared (or able to) assume.

Earlier blog entries (listed at the bottom of this entry), show that Sage’s health has been troubling for a while. And, this week, it was time for his big op. We needed to make a spontaneous decision that will, hopefully, add many years to his precious little life. He had 19 teeth removed!

Beware! If your small dog is sneezing a lot and has stinky breath, no matter how well you supervise their oral health, the problem may be beyond your control. Size, genetic predisposition, and (previous) misdiagnosis, as well as insufficient attention to detail, can factor in and effect (appropriate) treatment options (and outcomes).

When I picked Sage up from VEC, last Thursday night, he was still blood-stained and had a bleeding nose and low blood sugar. He was a heap in my arms: glazed eyes, tearful, whimpering, and a shadow of his regular self. Dr. Sharon French’s surgery had been careful and kind (like her), but significant inconsistency among other employees at the clinic is obvious (perhaps why feedback forms are now offered at the counter). The animal care attendant’s hand-over of a post-op animal felt abrupt and disconcerting—quite unlike the receptionist’s check-in pre-op.

The photos included below tell the tale of 48 hours in the life a little dog, pre- and post-op.

• The last bone (the night before surgery).

• Big Yawn (full set of teeth).

• Carried home, and nestled in a bag, tinged with pink (blood stained) and sleepy (the evening following the surgery).

• A little walk and sniff on a nice autumn day (the day after the surgery), with a new outfit to stay warm (pink bandage from intravenous).

• First proper meal. Homemade dog food! (Dog food recipes will follow in another blog entry.)

• Big sister Lev, finished her meal, oversees Sage.

• Lev ready to finish off Sage’s meal should he not pay attention.

• Homemade dog food, the first vat.

• Containers of homemade dog food for freezer.

Little animals, like young children, can get sick very quickly, unable to tell us till their conditions are critical But, the good news is that they can also get better quickly, when cared for properly and expediently.

For other blog entries relating to Pet Health and Well-being (and Sage’s history), please check out:

• Older Dogs’ Health Watch (July 10, 2008)
• Veterinary Emergencies (April 2, 2008)
• Holistic Dental Hygiene: For Dogs and Their Humans (March 4, 2008)
• Always a Puppy, Never a Dog (August 23, 2007)

Gratitude for Beautiful (Unseasonably Mild) Weather

November 8, 2008

Please click on the image above. These shots are shared in appreciation of a beautiful autumn day, Friday November 7, 08! It was a treat to observe exquisite late-fall colors, by chance, wandering through mid-town Toronto’s residential streets.

Sick Pets and Veterinary Waiting Rooms

November 6, 2008

Hospital waiting rooms and veterinary waiting rooms provoke interesting comparisons. Perhaps it’s just me who notices this. Or, maybe I’m wrong. If you have a beloved pet—and have been to both—you‘ll understand.

Veterinary Waiting Rooms

Emotions are real and raw

It’s different…

Not one person waiting
Two or three

Eyes well with tears
Big fears

Old, young
Highly strung or placid

Details matter
Passion and care

It’s all in a glance
True love and circumstance

Humans make do
Animalkind can’t

Regardless of how we feel
Whatever we have going on personally
There’s a pause

Our pets matter more.

The poem (above) was written for Sage, today. He has been a very brave little man. (More about him in later entries.) Speedy recovery Editor in Chief of the DocSusan Website!

For a poem about (human) Hospital Waiting Rooms, please check out a blog entry from yesterday, Hat-Tricks and Hospital Waiting Rooms, (November 5, 2008)

Photos in this blog entry are courtesy of Lev and Sage’s buddy, Lucy Izon, from CanadaCool.com

A Night to Remember: US Elections From Canadian Side of the Border—Best, Worst, and Unsurprising Details

• Best: Katie Couric’s CBS news coverage

• Worst: Michelle Obama’s Dress

• Unsurprising: The Canadian elections (October 14, 08) were less interesting to Torontonians. More of them home watching (and caring about) US election results (November 4, 08) than their own. Neighborhood streets were quiet, TVs on.

Hat-Tricks and Hospital Waiting Rooms

November 5, 2008

I’ve been a little "fuzzy" lately, making writing (and concentrating) more difficult than usual. Despite this, there’s always ways to be creative if you can give in to becoming a "Mad-Hatter." When not up for much else, crochet did the "trick" for me. Sitting in hospital waiting rooms, over recent weeks, I’ve managed to produce three hats (as displayed above).

The first two are made from Cashsoft and the the third from Noro yarn. Hat one, I’ve called the "Playful;" hat two, the "Sophisticate;" and hat three, the "Fun" (from left to right, above). The first was just to use up yarn and keep my mind occupied. The second involved more planning and design. The third provoked excitement and a dash of spunk.

The nice thing about making hats is that patterns aren’t necessary. They’re easy to try on as you go, and undoing them, to readjust for sizing or look, doesn’t involve too much lost labor. Hat one involved "uncertainty;" hat two, "awareness;" and hat three, "boldness." A crochet hook and yarn can sometimes help boost confidence (and self-esteem), even when real life has its challenges.

Previous blog entries about crochet include:

• Wearable Art: Crochet and Canvases Match at Toronto Art Expo
(March 23, 2008)

• Crochet for Stress Reduction, Fashion, and Fun
(December 25, 2006)

Reflections on "hospital waiting rooms" are shared in this poem:

Hospital Waiting Rooms

Hospital waiting rooms
Interesting places
Expressions on faces

Old, young, rich, poor
Illness can descend at anyone’s door

Homeless or not
Bedecked in jewels or poorly clad

Side by side they sit
And wait, and wait, and wait

Time to hesitate
And reflect

Thankful for what’s not
Regretful about what is

A loss of control
Soul next to soul