Halloween seems to be celebrated most everywhere these days, including Papeete (Tahiti), as shown above.  Halloween costume displays contrast with regular (tourist) souvenir displays, shown below.

This e-mail was received in response to my recent blog entry on solo travel.  Its author is Maxwell Kates, and I am posting it with his permission:

I’m writing to respond to your blog entry about single travelers. I thought it was well written as it describes a number of thoughts and concerns single travelers face or may not realize.  Although my research in this area is not scientific, I am aware that there has never been a community so large, widespread, and disparate as the singles of our times.  Of the 6.6 billion people on the planet, at least two billion are considered single.  There might have been other communities to which members might not have wished to admit association in the past, but these were, generally, more cohesive, due to common practices, lifestyles, or beliefs. What seems to unite singles today is an absence from their lives.  I feel it is difficult for any business to target a product to a market such as "singles" if it is defined by what members are not, rather than what they are.  I’ve discovered this after attending events where participants have come together due to their (non)marital status, but may have nothing in common with respect to anything else.  Also, I’ve also traveled a lot in the past five years.  Apart from a trip to New York with my dad in 2005, it’s been independent of friends and family.  I’ve taken package excursions, attended conventions, joined with organizations and to volunteer, all en groupe.  Each trip has had advantages and disadvantages.  Your level of connection with co-travelers is the luck of the draw.  Then there’s the alternative: traveling completely on your own. Last month I went to Vancouver for a week.  Why Vancouver?  Part of the reason is that I know about a dozen people there.  I was unemployed at the time and wanted to be around people I knew.  Of the twelve, I arranged to meet six of them, averaging nearly one visit a day over eight days.  With one of the six, I traveled to Seattle where I saw three more people I know - two intentionally, one by accident.   Another factor for picking Vancouver was on a recommendation by another member of "the singles jungle," who deemed the city a welcoming destination for solo travelers.  When traveling alone, I try to find a hotel that has a community atmosphere.  As was the case with prior vacations to San Francisco and to London, I succeeded in Vancouver.  You never know who you’ll meet in such circumstances. These are all topics you discussed in your recent entry. Others, including self-sufficiency and personal entertainment, are concepts which did not cross my mind.  Yes, traveling (and living, for that matter) on your own can be more expensive than with friends or a significant other, but it beats the alternative of uncongenial companionship, just for the sake of it. Thanks for writing about such matters and providing readers the opportunity to think about them.

Maxwell, thank you for your feedback, sharings and suggestions!

Just a few hours from downtown Toronto, bear spotting isn’t hard to do. Check out the wildlife at a creative sign shop, on the road to Killarney. Wonder if a few bears in the backyard, downtown, might help scare off squirrels, raccoons, and skunks? That said, there didn’t seem to be as many of them around this year.  A cause for concern, maybe?

When I decided to travel to French Polynesia (where I am writing from now), I was well aware that this is a honeymoon/couples destination.  However, there are may other special celebrations to mark with big trips like this—birthdays, professional milestones, overcoming burnout. Or, quite simply it may be the right time to go somewhere/the realization of a dream.  If we have the health, strength, and good fortune to be able to do so, it’s important to seize opportunities, no over-analysis.  Live in the moment!  Last week, I was in hospital.  It was touch-and-go whether I’d be able to travel at all.  This reinforced to me, all the more, the necessity of brushing aside qualms about traveling solo.  

Can travel, will travel, and hope for the best!  Why should solo travelers be deprived of seeing places like Tahiti or Bora Bora, just because it’s not typical for them to be there?… I’m thrilled to be in the South Pacific right now!   Though I’ve been excited to view the wonders of this remarkable paradise, I do admit to having had time to reflect and wonder about issues solo travel stirs. Others have shared their stories about this. And, of course, I have many of my own.

Some people can travel alone.  Others cannot.  When choosing to travel solo—or having no option but to do so, certain factors matter.  These include:

1. Destinations: where you go and how you get there can make things easier (or not)
2. Tour operators:  select wisely
3. Personal coping/activity strategies
4. Personal expectations and tolerances
5. Personal gregariousness, charisma, and courage
6. Luck and timing:  co-travelers and environmental factors

For those who travel solo to get away from everything and everyone, this blog entry might appear ridiculous.  It is really intended for a growing (and, possibly, more embarrassed and silent) majority:  those who might, increasingly, be obliged to spend time alone, at home as well as on the road, like it or not.

Though it’s hard to accept, we live in a lonely and isolating world.  Ironically, Internet dating and big-city life can be counterproductive—lead to a lack of community feeling and less accountability/reliability.  From the outside, those who are in relationships would think it’s easy to meet and connect.  From the inside, those who are not in relationships will tell you it’s more difficult than it seems.  Many tire of the process, and those around them (especially if coupled) don’t, usually want to hear about it.  A lot give up along the way—would rather "settle" with someone who’s not really for them than endure the stigma and pain perpetual self-reliance can provoke.

Then, comes vacation time. The best things in life (vacations being no exception) are shared.  But, if you don’t have "significant others" in your life, what do you do?  Find a congenial "friend" who’s schedule, budget, and interests permit them to journey with you?  Or, stay home?  If you are optimistic, brave, adventurous, or resilient, the travel bug will win out and you’ll decide to go anyway.  Nevertheless, despite good intentions (unflagging courage and being properly organized and prepared) it’s hard, sometimes, not to feel inadequate or out of place, even if you are not.  

Don’t worry about what  others might think or say.  Probably, if they’re traveling as a twosome or en famille, they wouldn’t have the stamina of mind to go it alone, or enjoy!  And then there’s their squabbles.  Just because people are traveling together, it doesn’t mean that they are doing so happily.  Trips have been known to end relationships, rather than bring people closer!

TRAVELING SOLO:  Weighing the Options

1. Destinations:  where you go and how you get there can make things easier (or not)

• Where you’ve been before (and feel safe).
• Vacation/second homes (family or timeshare, where there’s familiarity/routine/other people).
• Package trips (where everything is organized and there’s less personal responsibility).
• Group trips (where interactive opportunities are part of the itinerary).
• Activity/adventure/cultural trips (where there’s a common goal and theme and/or group dynamic).
•  Conference(s)Seminars and their ad-ons (where the professional and personal can overlap).

2. Tour operators:  select wisely

• Those who offer solo traveler options (they’re not for "singles" per se, but don’t make singles feel uncomfortable).
• Those who are solo-sensitive (and provide incentives for those who, like it or not, are obliged to travel alone).
• Those who don’t charge single supplements (might alienate/discriminate/take advantage…).
• Those who welcome repeat business (and will try harder, however they can—every person mattering, not just every room).
• Those who are pet friendly.  (If you don’t have a human to travel with, you may want to take your pet).
• Those who realize that solo travelers are a market worth favoring—that solo travel shouldn’t just be the "privilege" of those who can pay the price (financially and/or emotionally).

3. Personal coping/activity strategies

Nothing worse than having others feel sorry for you, or appearing needy…

• Always have your own entertainments (in lieu of traveling companions who may not actualize):  books, magazines, handicrafts (knitting, paints, etc.), photographic equipment, Ipod, sports equipment., and, and, and…
•  Self-sufficiency. (Yikes!).  You might have noone to hold your place in the line, or watch your bag.   You also might not be able to run and get refreshments, or to the bathroom.  Be prepared:

- Carry snacks
- Go to the bathroom before you get off the plane, or train
- Travel light
- Know how to entertain yourself (as above)
- Know how to connect with co-travelers (who can be helpful) but be cautious
- Be prepared to not have to depend on anyone else for anything (thought getting photos taken of yourself, by strangers, can be challenging…)

If driving, staying awake and safety matter even more:  audio-entertainment, traveling at the best time of day for you, where you stop, nutrition, car maintenance/protection, and, and, and…

4. Personal expectations and tolerances

Be prepared to not have to depend on anyone else for companionship or favors.  How solos navigate in a non-solo crowd is personal.  We all have different (cap)abilities, as well as purposes for our journeys.  At home, it’s possible to hide from situations where you feel you might not fit in. On the road, you’re out in the open, and exposed to environments and happenings that can make you feel awkward/out-of-context (no shields).  Know your limitations, but also be prepared to stretch yourself.  Try new things, and ways to approach others.  Turn fears into opportunities!  At home, you know what to expect (most of the time).  On the road, you don’t always… Different cultures stimulate fresh  chances to grow and learn.  Embrace, enjoy, and be thankful!
 
5. Personal gregariousness, charisma, and courage

How you are at home may be how you are on vacation. How you are at home may not be how you are on vacation.   Some are quiet.  Some are not.  Some are approachable. Some are not. Some need to make extra efforts. Some do not.  A little success may go a long way.  Try and try again.  Use whatever skills and talents you have, or invent them.  Be open to possibilities and let travel help broaden your mind and ways of seeing and doing…  

6. Luck and timing:  co-travelers and environmental factors

Sense who your co-travelers are.  Some may be traveling together because they want quality time with each other.  These folks won’t welcome you joining them, at meals or in activities.  Others may enjoy meeting new people no matter what, and might welcome you with open arms. Some of the best (accidental) friendships are made on vacation!  Finally, there are those travelers who, may (unintentionally or not) find "strays" entertaining "filler" for an evening or an excursion.  Also, depending on where you are staying, and who else is staying there at the time, dining and excursions may offer ways to connect.  Tables which are open to anyone to join, and activities that don’t just cater for "twos" but offer "partner-providing" opportunities are bonuses (funny as it might seem)!

At time of booking, ask questions

• What your tour operator/destination (can or will) provide (if their single supplement offers something in return, like solo-sensitiviy).
• Without asking for specifics, check the demographic of other travelers (age, gender, social status, etc.)—If you will stand out from the crowd, or not.

Trip providers, please listen up.  Remember that tours and destinations that are solo-friendly (integrate solos with regular travelers) are often preferred by solo travelers.  Many don’t enjoy "singles’ trips" or activities per se—and that’s a whole other discussion as to why…

At time of booking, know your personal limitations

Try and stretch yourself wherever you can.  Nothing is ever perfect.  Attitude, effort, and intention count—for traveler and travel provider, alike!  That said, it’s nice for vacationers (who are paying) to have their stressors reduced where and however they can be!  

Trip providers, please listen up.  Remember, if you do charge a single supplement, try and give those paying it value for the extra money.  There’s always something creative or  considerate  that can be done (and it doesn’t have to cost).  A little thoughtfulness/kindness can go a long way!

What is 50?  Fifty can be a face—a face that tells a story, a life that’s half a century long.  Here’s a recent portrait I painted—one that marks the 50-milestone.

Portraiture is a very personal process (for artist as much—and even more so—than sitter).  You get to know the subject a little better—come to read between the lines (no pun intended), see where their truth might lie then stress what can show them in best light.  

Portraiture is magical. It’s not a photograph. Interpretation and revelation are meaningful. Those who are able to view carefully pick up energies—recognize limitations, wonders, and a whole lot more.  It’s a terrific feeling to be able to present someone else’s best face to the world, especially on canvas.

Juxtapositions are interesting… 

Ellen DeGeneres paid tribute to Heath Ledger at the end of her show, Wednesday January 23 08.  This was piggybacked onto the joviality of her not-to-be-forgotten 50th birthday celebrations.  The gearshift, I felt, was awkward. I am a huge fan of Ellen, and think she’s very good at getting her fans and other celebrities involved.  I was, however, a little surprised with the extended birthday hoopla.  First there was her own 18-day countdown.  Then others, like the TV.com Community added to the hype with additional tribute pages.  And, of course, there were "surprises" from other well-knowns, like Justin Timberlake, episode-after-episode…  

We do feel better about ourselves when others are there to celebrate milestones with us. That’s clear.  Even those who protest they don’t want a party might be relieved and delighted when one is made for them.  But, what about all those others reaching similar milestone days that don’t have Ellen’s networking capacity or publicity operation? How many of them might be home alone for birthdays—not in celebratory mood, or able to feel quite as good about themselves?  

A quick Google search on the subject of 50th birthdays and Ellen’s led to an on-line contest, "Help Ellen Degeneres Celebrate her 50th Birthday."  The grand prize winner was getting a VIP trip to Los Angeles to help Ellen celebrate, by attending the filming of her show.  Again, more about and for Ellen. Ellen really is fabulous, and she does an abundance of nice things for others. However, sometimes, there’s a point at which (perceived) vanity can become insanity.  Instead of another offering for Ellen, could there not have been an ideal opportunity here for the Ellen team to help create awareness that not everyone has her current good fortune to be out there and loved as much as she is? (Maybe there was, maybe I missed it?) 

Also, let’s not forget that even those who are out there and loved, like Heath Ledger (was), might have other difficulties (be in need of different types of support). Ellen did have her own challenging days 10 years back. Though it’s good not to dwell on transitional periods, it’s always nice to remember, when things are going better for you, that others might not be quite as advantaged—or happy.  A little attention can go a long way.  A lot of attention can go too far, even with those we admire.

On October 16 (today), the Portrait Society of Canada has a studio day at Toronto Arts and Letters Club.  This will be a nice chance to reconnect through art-making, before its "The Miracle of the Portrait" Portrait Arts Festival and Competition (December 4 - 7, 09).  Recently, another of my "sharings" was included on the Artists Talk page of the Portait Society’s website. It is pasted below:

When I saw people for therapy, I had a sliding scale.  Different individuals had different needs (emotionally and financially). I tried to accommodate as far as possible, understanding circumstances and limitations.  Artwork, not surprisingly, seems to have sliding scales too.  That said, you can’t please all of the people (and yourself) all of the time. There is a point when too low is too low.  For instance, should a $2000 painting be reduced to $750 if it is a commission and you have a "soft spot" for the clients involved?  If you know they don’t have the means this is easier. (If they do have the means, it’s another matter.)  Then there’s those who like to spend more on the frame than the piece.  Again, a whole other story… Priorities, pressures, and obstacles are case specific, of course.  

What about the time, energy, and materials you have put in, as a professional (not for a hobby)? Are you worth a couple of cents an hour or more?  Is what you’ve created a "labor of love," or "slave labor"? Is a work of $2000 being sought for $750 as a bargain?  Or, should you create another piece that ’s more price-adjustable—a $750 work that really has a  $750 value?  Will it still be as pleasing and purchasable?  

Who and what really determines worth and appropriateness?  And, what about fairness, honesty, and trust?  Artwork has a sentimental, as well as investment/ commercial value. Also, instinct can blend with business savvy, or remain distinct.  We all (should) have our price points, as well as integrity and pride. And, of course, there’s experience too.  Capacities and expectations, however, may vary, for buyer as well as seller. And, cliché as it sounds, pride shouldn’t come before a fall.  Hardly surprising the term "starving artist" is so well known and a common reality.  Do others have hard and fast rules for how to deal with those who try to price adjust and bargain down? When does reasonable haggling become insulting?  When do you prefer to hold onto a piece rather than sell it at any price?

For more on related subject matter, please check out my "Candid Artistic Ramblings"  on the DocSusan website in the artist’s galleries section.

I managed to catch the last day of the Toronto International Fine Art Fair, a week ago, Monday. An enervating experience!  This had little to do with (many) gallery representatives being tired and inattentive.  Quite simply, the atmosphere seemed flat and nothing stood out as different or exceptional.  Having shown at Toronto Art Expo in March (at the Toronto Convention Center as well), this previous disappointing experience sprung to mind.  Also, I hear from others that Toronto’s Nuit Blanche (which coincided on the Saturday night of the Fine Art Fair) was even worse this year than last.  Despite the organizational PR and swish website, I understand that people appeared to be wandering the streets aimlessly, seeking something that might impress them, but going home tired and deflated.

Having just returned from the Liverpool Biennale, which was hopping, it’s hard not to make comparisons.  I think there’s a lot Toronto’s arts community (and sponsors) can learn from what’s happening across the Atlantic—not just from how artwork is exhibited, but to how ambiance is induced.  User-friendliness, approachability/accessibility, and interactive involvement (at all levels) help create a more fun environment that keeps you engaged. 

From the Walker Art Gallery’s (first photo in this blog entry) John Moores’ and Ben Johnson’s exhibits, to the Conservation Center (second photo in this blog entry), to the Tate Gallery, to Bloomberg’s New Contemporaries, I was surprised and delighted to see the range of possibilities—something for all tastes, attention spans, and budgets.

What’s nice about the British approach is that everyone can get involved somehow, and keep passion alive. (Please see the photo of the interactive display, above, at the Conservation Center.)  Also, most museums and galleries are free (and government/trust supported), with lots of helpers around to explain and motivate.  You can even try things out for yourself, with projects like The Big Draw, which reminds that "drawing is for life, not just for children!"  (Please see the the photo below, also check out www.campaignfordrawing.org.)

Canada-based artists, currently on exhibit in Liverpool, include, David Altmedj, at the Tate, with his piece, The Holes, and Paul Ygartua, in Bar Four at the Hard Days’ Night Hotel.  And, then there’s street art, from all parts and in all parts, that’s catching a lot of attention—like the spider behind Liverpool’s Town Hall. (Anthony Gormley’s spectacular installation "Another Place" exhibit in the Mersey Estuary ended up staying more permanently.  Be fun if this one could too!) That’s my photo of the spider, but the Telegraph has a better night-time shot.

The point is that art excites and motivates. The more of it that’s around, the more people get interested, causing new opportunities/creativity (of all types) to emerge, as well as interesting juxtapositions of old and new—like with Liverpool Town Hall, behind which the spider dazzles, by night. 

Gamblin are my favorite oil paints.  In August, I discovered that they have an annual competition.  This year’s was number 15.  Robert Gamblin invites painters to experiment with "value," and see how light and dark can have as much impact as color.  For me, as a "colorist," this would have been an interesting challenge. Unfortunately, I found out about the competition a little too late.  The folks at Above Ground gave me a tube, after I commented on all the other shades of Gamblin’s grey I was buying that day (but the competition deadline date was too tight).  

Torrit Grey is made up from pigments collected from Gamblin’s air filtration system that are mixed and recycled to form a unique color.  There is no charge for this product.  

We all have our creativity slumps, and sometimes don’t know how to move beyond them.  A couple of months on from receiving the Torrit Grey tube I still hadn’t used it.  Now, the timing was right and better.  Perhaps this little tube could help restore creativity—kindle an element of surprise and wonder and motivate me to get back into a "flow."

You may view the DocSusan website and blog and think that my creativity comes easily.  Nothing comes easily, even if it may look that way.  Common "creativity blockers" and "enhancers" are listed below.  Perhaps you can identify?  Perhaps you have you own special solutions for navigating between them?
 
Creativity Blockers

• Emotional upsets
• Rejection/lack of appreciation
• Physical illness
• Burn-out
• Isolation
• Lack of motivation/goals

Creativity Enhancers

• Emotional stability and calm
• Appreciation
• Good health
• Rest
• Connection and belonging
• Surprises

p.s. I used the Torrit Grey in a a small work entitled, Love = Poodle for Me.  Love = ? for You? This was for the Love Show, an 8 x 8 fundraiser organized by the Londsdale Gallery, to be held at Toronto’s Gallery 1313 (October 30 - November 9, 08 Auction November 9), to benefit "Nomads" (street youth).

About this piece: Love hides in many places. Some never find it.  Others see it peeping through clouds—dream, wish, hope.  Love, for me, masquerades (and dances)  in "Poodle-form." Wherever I go, there they are!  I don’t hide behind my poodles, but we take care of each other —every step of the way. (This piece can hang in four different directions. Please hang it according to what you see in it—and enjoy!)

Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) starts tonight.  When the "gates" close at sunset tomorrow a New Year will begin, contemplation (and repentance time) shoved to the back-burner for many. 

Trying to remain mindful and careful year-round isn’t always easy—perhaps why three simple words seem to get growing attention:  "reliability," "vulnerability," and "fear."  They highlight problems many of us encounter daily.  They also point to short-comings (our own as well as others’).  Here are a few snapshots of how, told through acrostic poetry:

Reliability

Ready, willing, and able
Efficiency matters
Linked to what you do—or don’t
Impression stands for something
Actions too
But not everyone plays fair
Integrity matters, or so you’d hope
Letting things go
"I" counts more than "you," "he," "she," "they", or, "we"
Tales to tell
Yes, a slide in values, symptomatic of our times, but no excuse

Vulnerability

Very open
Unguarded
Lots to tell
Not always to the right people
Excitement and energy often misplaced
Reason and rationality lacking
Anxious, maybe as a result
Brave, but losing it
Irritated by consequences
Left out, regardless how much shared
Intimidated
Tense
Yearning

Fear

False impressions of what might be
Emotions taking over, justifiably and not
Ahhhhh!  It wasn’t so bad after all
Relief, thinking about it is worse than actually doing it

Guilt hovers for all types of reasons.  Some manage to feel guilty without cause. Others don’t (appear to) feel guilty, but should.  Conscience is a determining factor.  Even if we deceive others, we still have to live with ourselves! 

G U I L T

Got away with it before

If not this situation
The next?

Those who hurt us (seem to) get away with what they’ve done too often. Or, do they? The high of duping others can, ultimately, be followed by the low of them being able to offer no more excuses—followed by a lack of leniency from those able to invoke retribution.  

It looks like there may be no way out for OJ Simpson this time around.  He may have "got away with murder" 13 years ago, but can’t seem to get away with "kidnapping and armed robbery" now.  A "lesser crime," a greater sentence…

It’s wrong to wish ill on somebody else.  But, it’s hard not to feel relief when obvious (and repeat) offenders push their luck and things don’t pan out for them.  In business, dating, or en famille, certain individuals have a way of taking advantage of others.  If discovered, they may attempt to convince that their ruses are out of character, or provoked.  Also, when people get away with something once, they often try to get away with it again…and again.  No matter how good their stores get, where’s the glory?!

The energy in this historic city is very positive right now!  At a time of worldwide slump, Liverpool wraps up its year as European Capital of Culture on a high note.  The opening of Phase Two of Liverpool One by HRH Princess Anne, last Wednesday, has been a boost for the city, country, and beyond.  Looking through guest comments for Liverpool One, it seems a lot of other expat. Liverpudlians, including a bunch of Canadians, have already given rave reviews.

Liverpool, it’s clear, is back on the map—a pedestrian delight, encompassing the (once again) aptly named Paradise Street!  It will be interesting to see what happens when the newness and excitement from Liverpool One’s completion wear off.  But, noticing how proud Liverpudlians appear to have been made to feel, let’s stay optimistic!

Many European travelers have quickly discovered this jewel of shopping/entertainment venues (photo above). Added to the culture and history Liverpool, itself, already provides, there’s now a sophisticated urban do-it-all get-away destination that won’t disappoint locals or tourists.  Don’t worry about the weather.  "Scousers" with their down-to-earth and fun ways can make up for that!  Time to provide more direct routings from North America to Liverpool, without the need to detour via Manchester or London!  (British Midland, Air Canada, Continental listen up!)

Stopping over in New York on the way to Liverpool, I spent last Sunday at MOMA (The Museum of Modern Art).  My photos from that visit were on the same disc as those from Liverpool One.  Walkways and views, it’s clear, create interesting parallels between the two very distinct locations (as the MOMA photo, above, shows).  Liverpool One is not only a great place to shop and eat, but an interesting architectural feat, a treat for photographers and design enthusiasts of all levels.

More on Liverpool One:  Please check out my June 11 blog entry, "Liverpool One Wins—Helps Make a Once-Great City Great Again."

This is a blog piece I hesitated to post.  Could it upset, disappoint, or depress readers?  How might you perceive me as writer?  Regardless, it felt right to go ahead.  I thought and thought again…  Though the artwork and intentions of this site are positive, for the most part, being real and confronting the uncomfortable is an essential part of who I am.  Sometimes, it’s not possible to gloss over strong sentiments (even if they appear negative or disappointing). Everything we show can help us (and others) grow! Anthony Hopkins as C. S. Lewis, in the movie Shadowlands, states, "We read to know we are not alone." (1993).  I write to know this too!  Fifteen years later this simple movie-line still has powerful meaning.  Perhaps, that’s what compels me to share the following poem with you.

FAITH

Inspiration sought
What matters can’t be bought

I opted not to go to synagogue for Rosh Hashana. It didn’t feel right.  Instead, quiet contemplation stimulated this poem.

Though we’d like to think and believe the best, not all rabbis are "good."  Nor are all regular  "good people."  Hypocrisy and double standards are an unfortunate norm in every organized religion at every level—as well as among friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and family.  (And, let’s not forget in business and politics!)  Though many folk are afraid to see or state it, sometimes it’s hard not to wonder:  "What’s the point? Who can you really trust that’s not just out for themselves, regardless of their position and responsibilities?  Who are the ’show-men’ and ’show-women’ (the ‘insinceres’) in our lives?"

Rosh Hashanah (the head of the year) can be many things to many people.  Generally, it’s marked by ritual and family gatherings.  However, like Christmas, Valentine’s Day, weddings, birthdays, and other (intentended to be) ceremonious times, the "spiritual" isn’t always what’s obvious, or triggers (questioning and distressing) thoughts and responses.  There are always those who feel uncomfortable—left out, or struggling with memories and associations that aren’t happy.  They can sense no genuine point of connection or healthy attachment, despite repeated effort.  Being able to be mindful of this, as well as caring towards individuals in our circles who could be struggling (and left "faithless") is truly a mitzvah (good deed)—some might even say "miraculous."

p.s. The movie, Shadowlands, touched a lot of people in a variety of other ways. Further commentaries on this are shared elsewhere.