April 1, 2008, I switched on the The View half-way through a "Hot Topic" discussion.  It appeared to acknowledge dismay among 45s to 50s who haven’t accomplished what they’ve hoped to.  Factors that don’t make them feel any better were described as including lack of community and so many people being alone (especially women).  

Being so intensely engaged in my "Animal Magic" painting project (just switching on the television for "background"), I was aware I’d postponed posting blog entries that have been in the works for a while. This episode of The View prompted me to want to add to the discussion.  Relationship (or lack of relationship) disappointments, misperceptions, and day-to-day struggles are common to us all, which is why I believe it’s good share them. 

This blog entry’s "warm topic" draws attention to why some singles might ellicit more sympathy than others, and how perceptions might help shape realities…

Definitions:
1. The "Single Because" is single again.
2. The "Just Single" has always been single.
3. The "(Im)Perfectly Single" doesn’t like to be defined…

Some candid and common assumptions about each type:

The "Single Because" can prompt perceptions that include:
1.  Did succeed at one time
2.  Has been proven worthy
3.  Has had something to offer (and can again)
4.  Has suffered a "loss" that should be remedied (replaced)
5.  Needs help because of a changed situation
6.  Will benefit from being in relationship

The "Just Single" can prompt perceptions that include:
1.  Hasn’t tried hard enough
2.  Isn’t worthy of more
3.  Doesn’t offer enough
4.  Has no "special needs"
5.  Is not a priority
6.  Could be "difficult" in a relationship

The "Single Because" is widowed, divorced, or separated.  Both the "Just Single" and the "Single Because" might be single parents. The "(Im)Perfectly Single" might have "options," but still keeps on looking for that "impossibly-perfect other"—even if less than perfect, personally.  Perhaps that’s why the description, "Player," is easily substituted.  A "Player" is often charming, generous, good-looking, and smart.  But there’s usually a flip side:  self-absorbed, inconsiderate, insensitive, and cowardly, too.  Instead of focusing on, and trying to stick to one (really liked) other, this person can’t commit:  either "fades away" or ends things abruptly, a million excuses as to why things cannot work.

Those who seem to ellicit most sympathy, socially, are widowed or single parents.  The genuine distress their situations frequently cause can’t be denied.  But, some do know how to take advantage of circumstances—get extra help and attention that might not have come their way otherwise…

No matter one’s single status, a recent book, by Pari Livermore might be enouraging to those seriously searching, especially if female.  Called How to Marry a Fabulous Man, its Today Show feature told a little about Ms Livermore and her one-of-a-kind philanthropic dating service and philosophy, as well as her "31 ways to meet, catch, and keep Mr. Right."