I’m thrilled to be contacted by those who enjoy my poetry. Earlier this month, Susan Kusel, of the Wizards Wireless Blog, wrote to ask permission to include excerpts from my Kilimanjaro series on her "Poetry Friday." Her brother, Russ, was due to climb Kilimanjaro, and she wanted to provide him with inspiration. How wonderful! Last week, after Russ returned from his successful ascent, Susan posted her own poem to honor his journey. Comments back to both blog posts, by readers, and Russ, himself, were, affirming, touching, and thought-provoking. Siblinghood at its best!

Even relationships assumed to be "on" might be "off."  Apparently 20 million American couples are in low- or no-sex relationships.  January 28th’s View featured Bob Berkowitz discussing his (and his wife’s [Susan Yager-Berkowiz]) recent headline-attracting book, He’s Just Not Up for It Anymore. Why Men Stop Having Sex, and What You Can Do About It.

This topical text draws attention to a number of interesting questions about where men’s disinterest comes from, including:
1.  Is it physical, emotional, psychological, or simple partner-boredom?
2.  Is it an anger-response about other aspects of a (failing) relationship, or symptomatic of depression?
3.  Is it due to too-easily accessible porn (some men becoming unable to be turned on without it)?
4.  Is it an outcome of "natural causes"?

How sexless men’s partners might feel is also considered.  Are they dejected, relieved, guilty or suspicious (of infidelity, asexuality or homosexuality)?

Whether there’s sex in a relationship or not, many still prefer being seen to be part of a "two" than "unchosen"/solo.  Long-term solos (by chance or choice) have their own "going-sexless" challenges—and (usually) fewer viable alternatives, as well as less public empathy.

Even if a partnership is sexless, it might still be supportive and status-affirming. This was demonstrated to me recently, at lunch with a colleague.  She announced, "Going to be 50 this summer, and I’ve more self-confidence and daring than ever—must come from being married with kids…"  "How do you think those without marriage and kids might feel, the same "big birthday" coming up," I asked. "What keeps them going?"  Quiet and visibly uncomfortable, she couldn’t imagine or relate, and changed the subject.

New relationships used to get off to more comfortable starts because respect, consideration, and life-cycle stages seemed to matter.  Each person involved (or wanting to be) had incentive to keep things going—sought greater interdependence and collaboration (believed in a better quality of life as a "two").  Today, distractions and alternative options are more alluring than working on what’s infront of you—and got good possiblities.  Eyes wander more than ever before—if not in actuality, virtually.  

Cyber—cheating prevents many new connections from growing as they might have, easy "escapism" too available. High potential matches are stumped before they are started.  Serious daters (looking for a monogomous long-term relationship) dance with serial daters (those ever-seeking perfect and better). Once serial daters get what they think they want, it looses appeal and the chase becomes more exicting than the catch. On to the next!  Some endings are abrupt.  Others "fade away," one (cowardly) person knowing what they’re doing, the "worthier other" being left disappointed or surprised.

There used to be a commonly followed "three-date" practice (not to judge too quickly). Today, even second chances are hard to come by.  If someone isn’t perfect—better quality than the person ruling them out, from the very first encounter or because of an "off-moment"—there’s no hope for continuity or tolerance.  Why waste time with someone who might be human—have as many flaws as you do?  A quick fix, rather than hard work (as necessary for most everything else) prompts expectations…and disappointments.

Bravo to "Bravo" for alerting us to Patti Stanger’s Millionaire Matchmaker team!  Thanks for displaying that guys one would think "apppropriate" aren’t necessarily ready—still fantasizing over unrealistic catches, or need "fine-tuning."  A show that is "out-of-the-box" in its showcasing of a service that attempts to coddle those who pay to seek what even money can’t buy. That aside, Patti’s Dating Commandments are worth checking out (millionaire or not).

Heath Ledger’s unfortunate death has generated much discussion about its nature—whether it was accidental or not. From the LA Times to Time (and beyond), it’s become a major news story!  Close family and friends of the deceased insisted right away on "accidental causes." Noone likes to think about, admit to, or acknowledge the "S"(uicide) possiblity, at anytime.

Media have provided a lot of extra/invasive hype, with many presumptive questions.  Naturally, suggestions of foul play abound, with analyses of the actor’s distresses.  Whatever the truth might actually be, we’ll never really know. Sadly, the one person who could have told us isn’t around anymore.  Apparently, he was found alone, face-down and naked on his bed, by service providers (his housekeeper and his masseuse).  Close family were thousands of miles away, and the face that Ledger gave to the world in his many outstanding film performances was, obviously, not the face he wore privately (of late).

Ledger was famous. That’s why we get to hear, see, and read about him, and his final days and hours.  But, there are many other individuals, just like this movie star, dying every day—and in our own midst. Their burnout, despair, frustration, and loneliness cannot be remedied effectively.  Accidents and non-accidents happen, closer to home and all the time…

No matter the nice things said and done after a "loved one" is gone, nothing can make up for what was not said and done when he or she was alive (manifesting that all wasn’t right). The "take-home message" is to be more mindful of those around us continually—and sensitive to our interactions with them.  We truly never know how we might affect someone else, and what the consequences might be.  What’s not a big deal for you, might be for someone else. Everything adds up.  And, sometimes, just one more disappointing encoounter may be that one more too many…

This following simple poem, "Depression Alert," is an important one to remember. I included it (below) in tribute to Ledger. His untimely death provides an opportunity to share sentiments that might not have gained exposure otherwise.  Think of those with whom your life intersects. Perhaps they need a little more attention, consideration, and follow-up than you’ve been able to give them till now.  We may all be "busy," but…

DEPRESSION ALERT!

The places you don’t go
Clothes you don’t wear
People you don’t see

Others’ imaginings…

A life of ease
Please don’t tease

The pain
Nothing you can explain

Torment deep within
Understanding thin

Not who they think you are
Distance very far

Spoken up and not heard
Silent and more congenial

Another funeral.

You Tube video footage of my participaton at the Biennale was finally posted by the Biennale crew today, in three parts. I had no clue about what they were ultimately going to do, or editorial input. You’ll find me buried inside the footage if you’re patient—in parts one and two. Not in part three, as far as I can see…

part 1 http://it.youtube.com/watch?v=00Nr_2h52E4

part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEfKwVFiy_U&feature=related

part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8nnl1xQZT8

 

An after-the-event Florence Biennale critique with judge Gregorio Luke was helpful. With perseverance and commercialism (of my imagery), he forecast, "new doors opening."  Luke stood out from other exhibition judges with his extra efforts to speak to as many Biennale participants as possible.  His general message was that it’s not what ciritcs say, it’s what you do as artist.  An expert on Frida Kahlo, he suggested using her approach as "model": communicating directly with the public.  In fact, during his official presentation, Luke stated, "Don’t try to go to a closed and elitist art establishment." (Image above, taken during Luke’s official presentation.)

Gilbert and George, honored with the Biennale’s "Lorenzo il Magnifico" career award, are quite different from Kahlo—in intention, appeal, and subject matter.  During Tim Marlowe’s Biennale interview with them, they insisted "Art has to be powerful or people pass it by…"  (Maybe they meant "shocking"?).  Their "Naked Shit" series (the title of which Marlowe repeated over and again in his questions) is just one example.  Gregorio Luke, the first time I introduced myself to him, stated,  "I don’t know your name, but I remember your art!"  Encouraging for work that’s not likely to be considered  "shocking"…

The evening before Gilbert and George’s interview, I ran into them by the Ponte Vecchia.  These "Men in suits" (a way, they claim to be have been able to sell themselves to dealers, from 1968 on) were now "men in overcoats," and a young Florentian was trying to take their picture with his cell phone camera.  I helped out, enabling him to be in the shot with them, then shared that I was a Florence Biennale artist hoping for feedback. Keeping the focus on themselves, the duo expressed surprise that I could have missed their enormous exhibit at the Tate (even though I told them that I don’t live in the UK). A conversation closer…

Another important man (in suit) who cut things short with me, last November, was Donald Trump.  In New York City, the week before leaving for the Biennale, I was meeting a friend at the Trump Tower cafeteria for lunch. By surprise, I noticed "the Donald" going up the escalator, and decided to approach him.  "Mr Trump" I braved, "May I please ask you a question?"  Thin and pale (without TV makeup), he turned in my direction, responding, "You’re a beautiful woman…  where are you from?"  The answer "Toronto," it appears, wasn’t a good one.  Hand up in the air after hearing this, he turned, elevator doors closing behind him.  Alas, no chance to pitch my Biennale exhibit series, "Buon Appetito!" to him.  Since climbing Kilimanjaro, I might have become a little more gusty—but there’s always need for help with closing a deal!

 

Interactions with other artists tended to involve those positioned at close proximity. But, quick wanderings around the exhibition gave an overall feel of atmosphere, energy, artwork, and personalities.  

12 artists I’d not met before, and spent time with during the Biennale are listed below (in alphabetical order). You might like to check out their work:

• Jeff Beier (sculpted painting)
• Joy Engelman (environmental painting)  
• Jim van Geet (figurative painting)  
• Pam Ingalls (Russian impressionist painting)   
• Olga Karpeisky (still life and portrait painting)
• Rian Kerrane (sculpture/installation)
• Janice Lawrence (joyful painting)  
• Charlotte Lugt (abstract painting)
• Mary Medrano (painting)  
• Miriam Pet-Jacobs (mixed media)  
• Danish Saroee (photography)  
• Mona Youseff (realist painting)  

12 artists I didn’t get to meet at the Biennale, but whose work I enjoyed viewing, are listed below (in alphabetical order):

• Ina Bartelds (floral painting)
• Karima Ben Otmen (painting with Arabian influences)
• Gina Blickenstaff (mother/child portraits)  
• Maria Catuogno (sculpture)  
• Cheri Christensen (Russian impressionist painting)
• Ann Dunbar (watercolour painting with embroidery) 
• Kimmo (Kimmo style painting)
• John van der Kolk (sculpture)
• Bria Kromm (painting with layers and symbols)  
• Nancy Lamb (figurative landscapes) 
• Maria Isabel Parra (multi-media artist)
• Sergei Zlenko (Russian figurative painting)

Some artists, attached to causes, were able to be more visible because of this:

• Pomm Hepner (watercolor painting) got extra wall exposure and mention due to her Artists for Human Rights membership. She is also a prominent Scientologist.
• Josie Taglienti (abstract pastels) promoted the Fine Art Registry, having been sponsored by them.

My Biennale display neighbors were two painters with very distinct styles and techniques:

• Denise Faegenburg  
• Amy Swartelé  

Having had a chance to review Biennale artists’ websites since the exhibition, I realize that while some had their best work on show there, others didn’t. The Biennale was, in many cases, an opportunity to sample a small piece from much larger pies and gain exposure.

Of course, there are many other artists I’d like to link in this blog entry, but that’s what the official catalogue is for, and where most participants were given equal space. Painter Nafisa Naomi, however, got a double-page spread—in advance of her winning first prize for her four canvas display, "Regeneration".  Unusual coincidence!  So did mixed media artist, Jackie Sleper—in advance of her winning first prize for her sculpture, "Modestia," given pride of place in the Biennale main foyer area (as shown here).

We don’t often know what will end up as an award winning work, or exactly why. A closer look at "Regeneration" (segment pasted below) may appear a tad disappointing—have viewers wondering how the canvases joined together (or whether they were supposed to).

Some nationalities weren’t as apparent at the Biennale as others. The Dutch had a huge contingent—97 (maybe).  840 artists from 76 countries were present, I believe.  There were also a lot of transplanted artists (those who found it hard to say which country they actually represented), like Plein Air Cottage artists, Helen Tilston and Violeta Shtumeyzen.  One evening, six of us went out for dinner, and found, by chance, that what we all had in common was being from one place but living in another.  Some had changed countries two or three times.  I could relate!  Is it the artistic spirit that encourages these moves, or modern day life?

 

Traditionally, if you search on-line, the Florence Biennale has had mixed reviews.  Having now participated, personally, I feel somewhat qualified to share pros and cons.  My You Tube video interview was filmed on Day 4, and focuses on the positive (though we are still waiting for the Biennale folks to post it).  This blog entry considers the whole picture (no pun intended).

Let’s stress the positive (in random order):

1.   Abundant networking opportunities between artists
2.   A live how-to guide for how to show your artwork (or not)
3.   A chance to discover what’s hot (possible) and what’s not, in art, and beyond
4.   An extended stay in Florence (and not as a tourist)
5.   Web presence enhancement (through participation)
6.   Time out from the studio—chance to taste "la dolce vita"
7.   General public’s feedback—international audience
8.   Connections made with viewers passing through
9.   Networking locally (in Florence)
10. Opportunities for commissions, sales, shows
11. International perspective and acknowledgment
12. Personal development opportunities

Familiar common complaints (in random order):

1.   Not enough visitors (likely not helped by time of year)
2.   Difficult layout and unfair allocation of display spaces
3.   Inadequate local publicity and attendance
4.   Most judges more aloof than approachable
5.   Select work given attention by judges, much of the rest ignored
6.   Certain presenters stood out, others had listeners walking out
7.   Environmental conditions challenging (heat, air, light…)
8.   Display equipment challenging (not flattering to artwork)
9.   Snack bar (food and service) not as expected for Italy
10. Many better works weren’t considered for prizes  
11. Too many artist-participant expenses and frustrating "administrivia"
12. Too much sitting around for artists who stayed on site

Those who go back again (participate in subsequent Biennales) demonstrate they’re not concerned with the glitches.  Those who don’t, have either been put off the first time, or simply can’t participate again for a myriad of other reasons.  In a world, and at a time, when fresh possibilities arise daily, pros, cons, and alternatives are reviewed carefully—as are first-hand accounts.  No matter what’s been considered disappointing about the Biennale, there’s still a lot of good to be said about it.  The opportunity to follow-through on the invitation to show at such an epic event comes to most of us only once.

In an ealier blog entry, I explained how preparing for the Biennale likely enabled me to complete the Kilimanjaro climb.  Now, having completed the Biennale, I realize that the Kilimanjaro climb might have helped me to make the most of participating at the Biennale.

 

(Photo:  those who made it to the top of Kilimanjaro, with self and guide) 

Even though my Kilimanjaro climb is less recent, certain lessons from it are memorable.  These include:

1.   Better sustain the cold
2.   Bathe less extravagantly
3.   Economize on clothes and possessions
4.   Stop clock-watching
5.   Take things more slowly
6.   Observe and listen
7.   Not fuss about comfort and convenience
8.   Require less sleep
9.   Sleep in uncomfortable conditions
10. Eat more simply and be less picky
11. Not need news from elsewhere
12. Take time out from electronics (TV, Internet, cell, etc.)
13. Push self further and harder, and not complain or avoid
14. Get less flustered about externals/what can’t be changed
15. Focus, no distraction, whereever and whenever
16. Chat with strangers and hear their stories
17. Open up to seizing the moment
18. Get back to basics (with everything!)
19. Assess what really matters
20. Be more fearless

Just like New Year’s resolutions, lessons learned on the trail can be hard to follow long-term, especially when there’s so many of them (and potential obstacles).  Though everyday hastles aren’t exactly the same as chance-in-a-lifetime climbing challenges, circumstances and reactions mightn’t be too different!

Poems 15 and 16 provide closure to my Tanzanian travels—reveal their legacy and an after-trip evaluation of sorts.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)  Next, I’ll share the lessons of Kilimanjaro, which, I believe, helped prepare me for the Florence Biennale experience!

15.  From JRO to YYZ

It wasn’t paradise
But it was very nice

To feel, do, see without a care
In the moment
Just to be there

Coming home, not as fun
Things have changed
Inspiration won

No more half-measures
New ideas as treasures

Different perspective
More reflective

Attitude of mind
No longer to be left behind

Taking chances out of reach before
Fresh possibilities
Wide open door

Wanting more
Needing less

Pushing harder
Evaporating stress

What matters
Finding happiness

Goals simplified
Reality intensified.

16.  Trip Evaluation

Missed what was in front  
When looking behind

Missed what was within
When looking without

Regrouping, regathering
Soaping up and lathering

Coming home’s been a process
Messages mixed
Needing to be fixed

Coming home’s been a rebirth

Opportunities to do not as before
Paving the way for a whole lot more

Magic in the moment
Risk ahead of reason

Adventure needs to live
So much to give

Magic in the moment
Life is short

If we don’t do it soon
Chance is we never will

Staying with the feeling of the climb
Not wanting to run out of time

Need to make it to the top again
No matter when

No more struggle
No more muddle

Some know how
Others know now

Never want to say
I knew then

Power of doing
No more brewing

Living each new day
In a special way

Recognizing what’s good
The important understood.

 

 
Poem 14 was written on the journey home.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

14.  2 Degrees C in Toronto—Light Snow Falling

It’s a long way back from Africa
Dreams fade to realities
Magical moments diluted in airports

Travel companions shift gear
Though you’d like to hold them near

What’s been put on hold has time to unfold

2 degrees Celsius in Toronto, light snow falling
Announcement on landing

Welcome back to a world where simple pleasures easily lose focus
Ready to journey away again

Planning for what, where, when
Already.

 

Poem 13 describes final game sightings, heralding the trip’s conclusion.  (Please don’t forget to check out the other Tanzania Safari Poetry blog posts before and after this one.)

13.  Day 9

Penultimate game drive
Not as alive

Sightings less prolific
Nothing scientific

Simply, the end of the trip is nigh
Almost time to say goodbye

From more to less populous parks
Expectations and excitement, less sparks

Nature full of wonder
At the right place
In the right moment

We’ve felt it
We’ve been there
We long for it
We’ll remember it

Big beast of a jeep
Adrenaline rush
Hush!

Two cheetahs to the right
Lolling under a tree
New feeling of glee

When it’s over it’s over
Or so you think

"Hakuna Matata!"
Staying cool helps

"Caribou!"
A welcome that lasts

A family of giraffes to the left
Mother, father, three calves

Gracefully and elegantly close our trip
Of magic a real sip.