Keep Your Word
How many things do you say you’re going to do for yourself, but don’t do? How many things do you say you’re going to do for other people, but don’t do? When you disappoint yourself, no one else has to know. When you disappoint others, the consequences can be wider.
What was the intention behind offering what you did?
1. To impress?
2. To connect?
3. To meet a challenge?
4. To get someone off your back—temporarily, at least?
Had you not offered to do something for someone else, what might have been different in their response to you? Would they have:
1. Thought less of you?
2. Ceased to engage with you?
3. Made you feel powerless?
4. Spoken badly of you to others?
Had you admitted you couldn’t follow through, could things have been worse? Probably not:
1. Honesty is still, always, the best policy.
2. Respect is earned from being up front (acknowledging and explaining limitations), not generating false hopes—"spoofing" your way through.
3. Showing you have the will but not the way (this one time) doesn’t preclude future opportunities.
4. Pride that comes before a fall might have helped create it.
Intentions matter—what’s behind our words. Are they empty, or are they supposed to lead to actions/help change outcomes/really assist others?
When someone who’s supposed to be helping you behaves "out of character"—doesn’t return phone calls or e-mails, and is (indefinitely) unavailable—you know there’s a problem. They’ve offered more than they can do. Under pressure, and in fear of failure, a "sayer" becomes a "player," and trust is gone.
There’s "sayers" and "doers." "Doers" don’t often say very much. They’re too busy doing. Also, you’re less likely to know their names. "People in the news," or in positions of authority are seen to promise a lot, increasing their own exposure/power. But, that’s all, sometimes…
