"Friends" is a term that’s very loosely used today.  On My Space and Face Book, and other social networking sites, you can make oodles of "friends" in moments.  But, who are any of these people to you, really?  Do we look better if we’re seen to have a lot of friends?  And, how many genuine friends can one have?  

"Acquaintance" might be a better description for many of those with whom we have relationships.  They’re people we might know because of a common interest or need at a particular point in time, but nothing more.  They’re not indispensable, and we can live without them/find others to take their place as quickly as they appeared in our lives.

Some who say they’re our "friends" really are not.  Others, who don’t say anything, but act in ways that demonstrate loyalty/the capacity for a proper relationship may better merit the description.

Think about those in your life who claim to be "friends," and determine the list to which they might belong.

"A—List" Friends are truer friends. "B—List" friends are, usually, more clearly "contacts for convenience"—their convenience.  Once you know where, how, and why they rate, it’s your choice whether to keep them in your life, or not.  If they’re on the "B-List" and not causing you problems, just coast.  If they’re on the "B-List" and are a source of regular pain/disappointment, address matters directly, or move on indirectly… 

"A—List " Friends

1.  Call to see how you are.
2.  Share their life’s pleasures, as well as pains.
3.  Don’t just talk about how great you are or how they’ll help you out.  They actually do so.
4.  Don’t keep you on hold—waiting or wondering—give you reasons/answers and let you know where you stand (honestly).
5.  Include you at all types of gatherings—not just the ones where you’ll be good "filler."
6.  Make plans with you in advance because you’re a priority/special, and they want to spend "quality time" with you/are proud to know you.

"B—List" Friends

1.  Call you for favors any time that’s good for them, no hesitation.  But, there’s no two-way street….
2.  Tell you what’s wrong with their lives, not what’s right.  Have you feel sorry for them, no matter what…
3.  Talk  to you in superlatives about how much they like you, what they’re going to do for you, what you mean to them.  Then, nothing…
4.  Keep you waiting for answers.  Sometimes they have time to "fit you in," other times they’re simply too busy…
5.  Let slip that they arrange and/or attend gatherings—ones they (sometimes) tell you about after the fact.  You didn’t make any "list"…
6.  Start calling or trying to make plans when they have nothing better to do, have a spare last-minute ticket, or their partner’s out of town…

It’s a lonely life without friends.  But, keeping too many straggling  "B—List" friends can make you feel worse rather than better:

1.  Lowers self-esteem.
2.  Leaves you empty inside.
3.  Challenges faith, hope, and trust.

Surely you are worthy of more…  Truer friends know that!

p.s.  You may like to check out an earlier DocSusan blog entry, Friends Help Friends.