I might have tried to paraglide, but you don’t have to—and you don’t know why I really did it, or whether I actually enjoyed the experience… 

In competitive environments, many of us feel like we lag behind—are not where others are, or where we want to or should be.  Also, role models who have their priorities in the right places, are harder to find and emulate.  Then there’s milestones that are missed by some and bigger pieces of the pie taken by others.

Life might have felt unfair before, but social pressures to conform, do better than, or defy the odds make a lot of hard-working individuals very unhappy. Circumstances get blown out of proportion when all the facts aren’t known, and what’s on the surface might not reflect what’s really going on—be true or have merit.   

Comparison-making/envy usually hurts

1.  Helps us feel inadequate.
2.  Has us focus on other people rather than ourselves.
3.  Creates jealousies that leave us stuck and/or hopeless.

Self-Help

1. Don’t let yourself feel inadequate. Mix with those who understand your situation, or who have similar circumstances.
2. Don’t focus on others. Really acknowledge who you are and what you, yourself, want and can do.
3. Don’t  have jealousy take over. Think about what’s actually bothering you, and work on remedying that.

So as not to envy others…

1. Their possessions—Consider how and why they might have them, as well as other aspects of their life.  Are they better people for what they have, and do they share or care?  Are they happy, healthy, honest, and kind? Do they ever include or help those who don’t have as much as them?
2. Their professional/educational accomplishments—Consider how and what might have got them there, as well as other aspects of their life.  Are they better people for what they can do, and do they share and care?  Are they happy, healthy, honest, and kind? Do they every include or help those who are not as accomplished as them?
3. Their relationships—Consider how their relationships might have come about, and whether they’re good ones.  Are they better people because of their social status, or do they take it for granted?  Do they ever include or help those who are by themselves?

Keep things in perspective…

Everything is relative, and perhaps, there’s a bigger plan—one that we haven’t been able to map out. We can’t always be in control of what we have or do and who’s in our lives, even if we’d like to be.  So, beating ourselves up for particulars we seem unable to change or equal might only make things harder.  If we know that we try our best in everything we do, we’re less likely to have regrets or feel guilty.  Staying true to ourselves—our hopes and dreams—despite the odds, is essential.  Then, if and/or when we get a lucky break, we’ll be ready, willing, and able to make the most of what could happen next.