REJECTION Protection
Rejection is hard. Not knowing why you’ve been rejected is harder, especially when explanations could be more educational than painful. They would help make you more aware for next time, or learn that you weren’t a fit anyway—might have had a close escape.
Those who send back insincere form letters, more often than not, don’t read applications properly (if at all). Larger companies might not have time for the little guy seeking help. But, it’s probably that little guy, gutsy enough to approach them, who’s helped their business get where it is—buying their products or engaging their services, year after year. Then, there are the dates who don’t want to see you again, or the clients that don’t call back.
In most situations, there’s no way of knowing your competition. But, is your competition better? Perhaps they just have superior marketing techniques, friends in "high places," or luck and timing? Unfortunately, there are many better ideas, products, and people out there than the ones that actually end up getting recognized!
People who don’t know rejection are extremely fortunate. People who are familiar with multiple rejections are more fortunate. The greater number of rejections you’ve had, the lower your expectations. Disappointments are a natural part of life and make you try all the harder. The less rejections you’ve had, the more shocked and personally hurt you are by them. A first miinor rejection can trigger a major crisis.
Rejections toughen you up. Nevertheless, there is a point when even the tough have had enough. Those around us applaud success, but aren’t always aware of the effort (and failures) it might have taken to get there—or be stuck not getting there. If you’ve had a bumpy ride you’re usually more appreciative of making it. Success is not just about the end destination, it’s about the journey too. The process of not giving up makes being accepted (finally) all the sweeter.
People who reject frequently can be oblivious to the impact of a poorly delivered rejection. They can’t imagine the repercussions sometimes sparked. The rejected are generally good at putting on a brave face and not revealing their disappointment. Cudos, however, to those who do speak up—ask for clarification and express their surprise or sadness. What’s the worst thing that can happen? You know who, where, and what to avoid in the future, especially if circumstances change and you become the decision-maker.
Energy is precious and time passes quickly. That’s why it’s important not to brood on what’s been/can’t be. Even if you don’t win (keep on getting rejected), know that you’ve tried as hard as you can. Your conscience is clear! Your rejection isn’t just about you—the other side might have made a mistake. Over time, you might step back and see the whole picture—have your ideas evolve. You’re more able to recognize why things happened the way they did, even if the end results aren’t ideal.
No one gets all they want all of the time. Some don’t get any of what they want any of the time. If you keep comparison-making or constantly feel entitled to rewards and recognition, you’re going to have a lot harder time living with rejection.
• Pursue other avenues—stop going where (and to whom) you’re not welcome. Identify your comfort zones/people, and test those first.
• Take a break: stop reaching out till the dust settles. Appreciate what can be, even if it’s not what you really want, and hope for the best.
• Believe in, like, and improve yourself. Perhaps, those who rejected you will change their minds.
• Engage in positive activities and relationships, where you don’t have to pass or fail—are acceptable just the way you are. Capitalize on the possible, not the impossible!
• Join peer groups for those experiencing similar circumstances. You’ll find you’re not alone!
• Discuss, research, and network, and share what you’re thinking, feeling, or wishing. Fresh ideas and helpful feedback will pop up along the way.
