Solos who who haven’t settled seldom get enough credit for their strength, adaptability, and resourcefulness. Instead, a typical opinion is that there’s got to be something wrong with them.  Perhaps it’s the other way round—something’s right with them. Those who can’t handle solitude seem to hop from one relationship to the next, choosing less than "good enough" partners over their own company.  Ironically, outsiders might believe that the coupled are more "normal," socially acceptable, and easier going. They also overlook tell-tale signs that partnerships aren’t working:  criticsm or envy of those who "don’t realize how lucky they are to be single."
 
Do people partner because they want to, or because they have to?   Since many relationships happen on a needs basis, once needs change (for money, status, sex, children, or to fit in), what’s left?  Does attraction die? Was chemistry genuine?  Do shared goals, values, and interests (that may or may not have been present initially) matter anymore?  If you are with someone for the right reasons, love might conquer all. If not, you might soon be found out, or have to admit there’s a price to pay for everything: separation, divorce, or staying "unhappy ever after."

True love is rare and special.  Those who chance upon/work to sustain it are extremely lucky.  Healthy partnerships can help bring out the best in them. Nevertheless, as individuals, they might have difficulty understanding and appreciating how others can end up living their lives alone—not know or enjoy the often taken for granted benefits of shared experiences, histories, and activities.

It’s fun to celebrate the new year with someone you care about.  But, for the many who are by themselves, yet again, it’s more likely to be a time for reflection, loneliness, longing, and sadness.  I suspect more people can identify with these states than not.  Unfortunately, few retailers and commentators (traditional media especially) tend to pay too much attention to this growing group, despite the necessity to do so.

p.s.  "Behind Closed Doors, A Woman’s Day/AOL Survey" (January 07) reports, "We took a look inside American marriage and the results were shocking." Its headline paragraph elaborates:  "More than half of 3,000 married women polled by Woman’s Day magazine and AOL were not sure that they would marry their husband again. In addition, more than a third said they would definitely not pick the same spouse. Ouch!" How many of those surveyed do you think "settled" because they thought it would be better than staying single—and with what consequences?