I’ve made more than a dozen solo car trips between Boston and Toronto over the last few months, with audiobooks for companionship.  Some recordings require too much concentration and aren’t road trip-friendly. I won’t tell you about those!  Here are some that I do recommend—listed in alphabetical order (by author), with links to authors and publishers:

• Allen, David.  Ready for Anything:  Productivity Principles for Work and Life.  Approx 3 hours, 3 compact discs, read by the author, abridged, Simon and Schuster’s Audioworks.

• Craig, Edward.  Philosophy:  A Very Short Introduction.  3.5 hours, 3 compact discs, read by Maurice West, abridged, Naxos Audio.

• Degeneres, Ellen.  The Funny Thing Is.  Approx 3.75 hours, 4 compact discs, read by the author, unabridged, Simon and Schuster’s Audioworks.

• Dowd, Maureen.  Are Men Necessary?  When Sexes Collide.  Approx 8.5 hours, 7 compact discs, read by the author, unabridged, Penguin Audio.

• Ehrenrich, Barbara. Bait and Switch:  The (Futile) Pursuit of the American Dream.  7 hours, 6 compact discs, read by Anne Twomey, unabridged, Audio Renaissance.

• Kushner, Harold S. Overcoming Life’s Disappointments.  4 hours, 4 compact discs, read by Arthur Morey, unabridged, Random House.

• Levitt, Steven D. and Dubner, Stephen J.  Freakonomics.  A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything. 7 hours, 6 compact discs, read by Stephen Dubner, unabridged, HarperAudio.

• Lynch, Peter and Rothchild, John.  Learn to Earn:  A Beginner’s Guide to the Basics of Investing and Business. 1.5 hours, 2 compact discs, read by Peter Lynch, abridged, Simon and Schuster Audio.

• Mayes, Francis. A Year in the World.  6 hours, 5 compact discs, read by the author, abridged, Random House Audio.

• Singer, Peter. and Mason, Jim.  The Way We Eat:  Why Our Food Choices Matter. 12.5 hours, 10 compact discs, ready by Rick Adamson, unabridged, HighBridge Audio.

• Stewart, Martha. The Martha Rules:  10 Essentials for Achieving Success as You Start, Build, or Manage a Business.  Approx 6 hours, 5 compact discs, read by the author, unabridged, Random House Audio.

• Truss, Lynne.  Talk to the Hand#?*!  The Utter Bloody Rudenss of the World Today, or Six Good Reasons to Stay Home and Bolt the Door. 3 hours, 2 compact discs, read by the author, unabridged, Penguin Audio.

For more information on audiobooks, you might like to visit: www.audible.com, www.audioeditions.com, wwwbooksontape.com, www.recordedbooks.com, www.simply audiobooks.com.

We never know when, how or why loss is going to hit us.  It happened to me the other week in the strangest of ways.  For the last three years, I’ve nurtured a beautiful fig tree.  She’d grown to five feet high, and was happy and healthy.  Unfortunately, though many plants are shipped across the US/Canadian border commercially, when you move house you have to leave them behind. 

I wanted my cherished tree to go to a special friend, someone who’d be thrilled to look at her every day, and reminisce on our good times together.  A mutual friend with a pick-up truck offered to help with transportation.  We piled on a load that included other items not allowed for personal cross-border shipment (like mattresses—lest there be bed bugs).  Our journey to my friend’s office was short.  But, when we arrived, the fig tree was nowhere to be found:  on the truck or on our route, when we backtracked.  Its pot was still there—empty and secure.

The mystery of the missing fig tree preoccupied me all day and beyond.  Out of the blue, something that meant more to me than I’d realized was gone—for ever.  What happened to her?  Did she suffer?  Would she be taken care of?  Why was she missing?  Was there a message in her disappearance—greater meaning and symbolism.  How my mood shifted, in a heartbeat, indicated that there was.  Pining over the loss of a tree, had me reflecting on my coping skills for other losses—past, future, and ongoing.

Life is full of loss, and sometimes we never miss something or someone till they’re gone.  Only later do we realize what they represent(ed) to us.  Many of us fear the loss of close ones, and worry about not giving them enough time due to busy day-to-day schedules.  Many losses are expected, but many aren’t.  It’s the ones that take us by surprise that remind us we can’t control everything or everyone.  There’s a bigger plan, and it’s not one that we might have put together.

Sometimes, looking back, we’re better able to understand what’s happened.  Other times, we constantly seek explanation (and relief).  Again, how things play out and are understood or accepted is also not always in our control.  However, our attitude is:  having the fortitude to go on and recognize wake-up calls.  The loss of my fig tree certainly put me on alert—to be more cautious, careful, and appreciative.  Although, a fig tree is a living organism, it’s still a material object, and replaceable (despite any sentimental value).  Human loss, on the other hand, is far less easily resolved.

Harvard Medical School’s Department of Continuing Ed  provides unrivalled 2-day courses on a variety of conditions and treatment approaches.  November 3 - 4, 2006, I attended, "Bipolar Disorder:  From Childhood to Adulthood."  Serious and celebrated researchers, clinicians, and academics presented.  Then there was former Today Show co-host, Jane Pauley.  She was there to explain how you could still be "successful," even if bipolar. 

Pauley started, "Mental illness has opened many doors for me…like being invited to speak at Harvard."  She continued, "My comfort level rises with the size of the audience."  Her implication was that this related to her mental state—a sense of fearlessness and grandiosity while manically inclined. For most sufferers with more prolonged and less easily treatable symptoms, obviously, opportunities and outcomes are different.

Pauley also discussed her dismay over how the doctors in the hospital where she’d had an epic 3-week stay, five years ago (after an adverse reaction to steroids), hadn’t recognized her celebrity status.  At a time when she didn’t know who she was herself, and had been admitted under an alias, this proved disconcerting for her.  Not being from the US, and not having grown up with the Today Show (though a regular follower of Meredith Viera, right now), I was struck by Pauley’s lack of humility.

Maybe this was her way to add humor and draw attenion.  Her focus on Ted Turner as her bi-polar "role model" was interesting, and she did touch on sad personal moments (possible triggers for her illness), like her father being off at war for her birth.  But, for the most part, she dwelled on her good fortune and satisfaction.  Her rapid rise to stardom had been freaky, one day weekend news anchor in Indianapolis, next day Today Show co-host (at 25), Next, she was the "most visible pregnant woman in America"—mother of twins and a third child, with supportive husband.

Undoubtedly, Pauley’s book, Skywriting:  A Life Out of the Blue is an interesting celebrity autobiography.  However, for a more inspiring no-frills account of life as a manic depressive, the now classic An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jameson is a must-read.  Not only is this Ph.D. psychologist/author a long-term survivor, but she’s guided countless others in similar situations, as well as their family and friends, through how things actually feel and what can be done to help, very realistically.  

Other course presenters’ academic and clinical findings provided information overload.  The only points at which they seemed to disappoint was when they alluded to their relationships with drug companies, past and present.  Bruce Cohen, M.D., Ph.D., (author of 300 publications) quipped, "I stopped drug company relationships three years ago, because my salary is secure."  He’s the Director of the Stanley Research Center at McLean Hospital and Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School!  

Jean A Frazier, M.D. declared, right away, that she does have relationships with many drug companies, the manufacturers of atypical antipsychotics.  However, she added, "I hope by having relationships with so many, it proves I don’t have a bias… Also, I don’t have relationships with companies that make mood stabilizers."  She also announced that evidence based drug trials have such poor outcomes, not only because of patient dropout rates, but because "they’re skewed towards newer drugs."  And speaking of drug trials, she highlighted an irony:  "56% of bipolar patients have substance abuse issues, but this makes them ineligible for being included in trials."  Therefore, it would seem, most new drugs ignore the needs of the majority!  As Director of the Child Psychopharmacology and Child and Neuropsychiatric Research at the Cambridge Health Alliance, Dr. Frazier clearly understands drug industry foibles better than most!  

Gabrielle A. Carlson, M.D. was the opening speaker, who insisted "we treat people not diagnoses."  However, when she discussed her difficulties with her own son, it was hard to imagine her working with others as she did.  Apparently, when he got into a rage, she’d "throw him in his room" where he did "a lot of damage."  "At two-years old, that was one thing, but when he got to six feet tall, that was another," she lamented.  If the Director of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and Professor of Psychiatry at Stony Brook University School of Medicine admits how she couldn’t handle her own child, what hope is there for regular parents?  

Perhaps, the more popular speakers weren’t the M.D.s., but Judith S. Beck., Ph.D. and Barent Walsh, MSW, Ph.D.  They offered very practical and consistent approaches, personally and professionally.  Beck is the Director of the Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research and Clinical Associate Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at University of Pennsylvania.  She’s also the editor of the Oxford Textbook of Psychotherapy. 

Barent Walsh, M.S.W., Ph.D. is the Executive Director of The Bridge of Central Massachusetts, and the author of Treating Self-Injury: A Practical Guide.  Both speakers’ case studies and personal anecdotes were cleverly inserted into presentations jammed with references and reasons.

Another "crowd pleaser," was J. Stuart Ablon, Ph.D., Associate Director of the Collaborative Problem Solving Institute, Department of Psychiatry, at Massachusetts General Hospital.  He wasn’t afraid to advocate against a Dr. Phil-style approach to treatment, which had listeners grinning in agreement.  Ablon and his colleagues favor therapeutic rather than "correctional" interventions.  Audience attention captured, a few knitting and embroidery needles were put down for notes to be taken. 

Knitting and embroidery needles, you wonder.  Yes, there were many, a lot more than I remember at other Harvard courses attended in years gone by.  I, myself, had a crochet hook, and made a belt on the first day.  The attendee sitting next to me was sewing a seat cover for a bench.  I won’t comment here about the benefits of multitasking with craft activities at meetings like these. Try it, you might like it!  

At the end of the second day of the course, I rode the T to my favorite wool store, A Good Yarn in Brookline Village.  Apart from superlative cultural and academic opportunities, the Boston area caters to crafters of all types.  Saturday morning, Harvard.  Sunday afternoon, Brookline Booksmiths—where the basement is given over to its Knitsmiths.

Cape Cod has most people thinking summertime.  I think fall.  There’s no traffic jams or parking problems, and Sandy Neck Beach is dog-friendly.  Lev, Sage, and I said au revoir to the Boston area on a warm October Saturday, regretting that there hadn’t been enough opportunity for more outings like this!  Our snapshot records a very special day and memory.

 

There’s only one thing worse than marrieds who don’t understand singles, it’s businesses intent on taking advantage of singles’ vulnerabilities and wallets.  An increasing number of ex Match.com members are getting fed up with constant unsolicited e-mails that suggest "someone wants to meet" them. In order to see if this is true or not (and it usually isn’t), they have to sign back onto the site, giving credit card information.  Regardless of how many customer service calls or complaint e-mails made, nothing changes. In fact, a marked increase in Match.com spam-mail has been noticed since Dr. Phil’s been on board.  Interesting coincidence!  

Liverpool’s a great city! It’s my home town—and that of a number of (other) celebrities. What’s more, it’s having a comeback—winner of the European Capital of Culture for 2008 with a big dig going on so that the city can be as accessible as it is interesting. For now, however, it’s often paralyzed by traffic confusion. Nevertheless, its 2006 Biennial is receiving substantial attention, as is the 24th John Moores exhibit at the unparalleled Walker Art Gallery. Then there’s the John Lennon Airport that’s become a real hub. Very soon, you’ll be able to fly there directly from New York, Toronto, and elsewhere. Then, after the Liverpudlian experience, Ryan Air, Easy Jet and other low-cost airlines can whisk you off to an amazing number of better and lesser known European destinations.